Do you want kids?
Yes, but not right away. In a couple of years.
Could also be the men who don't want kids at all could be weeding women out early on in the game.
Yeah. There's nothing wrong in that. Why continue dating if your longterm goals are different? I think it's better that way
That is true but what if you aren't sure... guess you need to find someone else who isn't sure? Just seems like finding the right person should be first and foremost not a list of things that could change down the road.
I guess if you're not sure then you'd just say that you're not sure. That's very subjective. in my opinion you don't need another person to figure out what you want in life. Sure those things can change but you can still get back with exes and stuff.
That makes sense to me but I guess some women are made to feel like an animal, that their only valued for being a female with reproductive organs. Having children for the sake of having children isn't really a value not to mention what if people change their minds? If you are 34 you probably have a really good idea of what you want and don't want but for someone who is 20 is it really expected for her or him to know if they want children or not? Age may have to be the deciding factor on whether or not getting interrogated about children on a first or second date is appropriate.
"That makes sense to me but I guess some women are made to feel like an animal, that their only valued for being a female with reproductive organs." But what about women that ask the same question to men? (Yeah they do)While I see your point, and agree from your perspective, I'm looking at from a practical standpoint of compatibility. ... wait, what do you mean if I'm 34? Yes sir I am. Old as dirt, lol
I can't tell you how many women in their 20s said they didn't want kids until they hit baby fever around 30 and completely did a 180. I don't it's interesting because maybe if someone finds the right person the thoughts about having kids could also change too... so many moving parts...Good talk! lol
Oh no, don't tell me you're one of those people that think an anti-child person will change his or her mind if the right person comes along do you?There's a solution to that: two really.1) snip, snip or...2) find a partner that shares your views
Actually finding the one does change you and the way you feel about many things in life. Call me sentimental I guess. Anti-child people no but ones who really haven't decided one way or the other... YES... I think so.
Yes i know many women who changed their minds in their 30s.
@coachTanothony aww, you big softie: I knew it.Unfortunately, I fall into the anti child group, but I still respect your views nonetheless!
@bamesjond0069 True, it happens. But some of us are pretty adamant in our views. Put it this way, I would have had a tubal ligation YEARS ago, like at 18, if I could. ... stupid government and its backwards laws
Actually for me, I was more "baby sick" in my late teens to my late twenties! As I gotten to my 30's, the desire became less and less! ... I still WANT children but I had a deep jealousy and even hatred for pregnant women and their babies when I was younger... Now, I've definitely matured more! Understand more that I CANNOT control anyone but me! And that children most often are accidents!
@cynicalExactly, let’s not waste time and effort and for us guys, money, and get answers to those deal breakers fast. I’m not interested in taking a girl out at $50-$100 a night only to discover 3 dates in there’s something that just isn’t going to work out for me.
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I thought you might be the David Letterman of GAG and still have a couple... Ha
If I got a girl pregnant tonight (not what I have planned,) I would be almost 83 years old when that child graduated high school. What a horrible thing to do to a kid!
Yes and may scare guys off thinking that they want babies in like 6 months of dating. As if she is searching for a suitor instead of a partner.
Exactly! It's not like you mean "here and now", you just want to know that you are on the same wavelength.If he doesn't want kids like at any cost, but I do it is good to know early, not after 3 years when we both have developed feelings for each other. Cause eventually we will end up fighting over it because things weren't cleared up before...I am not sure if guys can see a little ahead when it comes to topics like this...
It's definitely a dicey subject to talk about on a first date!
Well, I guess our views change with age...When I was 20 I could've easily wasted those 3 years with the wrong guy who doesn't want kids. Now that I am 30 they seem too much. So you want to have some things off the table as soon as possible. OK, not on a first date maybe, but sooner rather than later. 🤷♀️
I said in another comment here that AGE might be the deciding factor on whether or not the baby question is appropriate on the first date or not.
Sorry, I didn't read through all the comments and conversations. 😅Tbh I usually don't, I just write my own opinion, without being influenced by what others said, and later read other comments too. 😊
No worries... just telling ya I also commented about age!
Actually, to me, a year is pretty long. Hell even six months or more is pretty long! I'd say more than six months is quite getting to be serious because my brother and his fiance dated for only a year before they got engaged and are planning a summer wedding so... I think it really depends on the couple but I'd say anything more than six month is serious! ... My uncle met his wife and they only knew each other for less than six months!
Well biologically yes but there is always adoption... I get your point though.
Don't you run the chance of getting together with someone for all the wrong reasons? To just procreate?
Well just because they want kids doesn't mean im interested. It just means im definitely not not interested. If anything i think its the reverse. If i get feelings for someone and then find out they dont want kids now im with the wrong person for sure.
Well maybe for you but many I would imagine ignore red flags as long as they are on the same page... which isn't good either.
I personally think not wanting kids is a red flag. It shows poor character. So I don't see it as ignoring any red flag.
What if they weren't sure? Is that still a no in your book?
No its not.
Yeah not sure what is happening out there...
@Lance1965 People from your generation were more homogeneous, so less questions needed to be asked. You could just guess and most of the time you would be right.
LOL I wonder if you did that and they said... oh thank god... then you said geez I was just kidding.
I think thanking god is appropriate
Women are here to just reproduce... i get it.
@coachTanthony I never said that. I never said anything of the sort.
Yeah yeah I know