I totally agree with you!
And here I thought women would get bored of you if you didn't ask them on a date after à week of talking. And move on to the next person.
@Paul09: Almost all would. The only exception I have seen to this is women overseas because of the increased effort to go see them, e. g., vacation time, maybe vaccinations, getting vacation approved, etc.
Wow that seems sooo long!
@Creepazoid can be to some
I can't imagine messsaging that long without becoming platonic friends.
At the time we were just getting to know each other, besides he's a great amazingly patient man so I'm not surprised he didn't push meeting each other.
I find it odd how men think waiting a few months is "too long," yet for most women it's a normal range!Men have to realize it takes longer for women to feel comfortable and open up compared to men- and we have to make sure it's safe as well. I'm not going to meet up with a guy I barely know after a few days or weeks, and he's some stalker or random creep! If he's really interested, he'll take the time to get to know me (and vice versa). That and nowadays with advances in technology, exchanging pictures and video chat should appease both parties until meeting up in person.
@Cynicaldreamer: In my experience, women don't want to wait months, either.
@Avicenna really now? I must be old school or unorthodox then! I definitely prefer waiting over rushing things! I figure if a man really wants me, he'll be patient and take the time to get to know me and make sure I'm worth his effort, and vice versa...I see it from this perspective: if you've been talking to someone for a while before meeting them, you're more comfortable meeting them in person and there's no awkwardness because you already know so much about them; it's like meeting a familiar friend or lover. By the time I meet my friends or potential dates from online, there's no surprise because their looks and personality are exactly what I've come to know from talking to them for so long.Whereas if you rush it, there's that awkward shyness and nervousness because you're not sure what to discuss, how things will go, or if said person is whom they claim to be.
@Cynicaldreamer: Well, I don't have this shyness/awkwardness problem, but aren't you concerned that a guy would meet someone else over such a long period if time, it have a relationship with her and then end it when you're ready to get serious?
You also don't really get to know someone without spending time with them in person. I had daily contact with my ex fir two months before meeting her in person, yet I saw a very different person when she was around her friends and family and it turned out months later that she just wanted lots of attention rather than the exclusive, long-term relationship she professed to want.
@Avicenna "... but aren't you concerned that a guy would meet someone else over such a long period if time, it have a relationship with her and then end it when you're ready to get serious?" No, I've never had that issue: ever! I make it clear upfront that I like to take my time getting to know a potential partner before meeting him, and yes, we essentially start out as "friends" and progress to more over time. That's my approach to dating at least. But every man I've met online was okay with that and did not rush to meet me! I guess I've been lucky in that circumstance, since reading some of these replies, apparently others feel differently. But that's just my stance on dating: slow and steady.
@Cynicaldreamer: I don't ask this to invalidate your approach or to be critical because you do what works well for you, but has this approach actually resulted in an exclusive relationship? IIRC, you've said you have been single for quite some time.
@Avicenna Oh no offense taken at all sir! I have been single for quite some time; I used this approach when I was using online dating eons ago. I'm quite sure things have changed since the early 2000s, but I stick to what works for me and makes ME feel safe. And yes, it actually has :) The last person I did meet in real life from a dating site, we dated for 9 months (though the bastard cheated on me but we did wait roughly 4-5 months before we met). The last person I met online, though only a platonic friend, we talked for over a year before meeting in person!!! Quite a while, yes, but he was very patient and understanding with me.
@Cynicaldreamer & @Avicenna I think from personal experience most men who wait to meet women tend to be looking for more of an exclusive long term relationship. They normally have more respect for women and their wants.Most women who have this standard about waiting to meet men tend to have more self respect and are more self aware of what they're looking for, normally carrying themselves in such a way that men are typically willing to wait.
Well, speaking for myself, I haven't experienced this, and I'm a guy that only looks for a long term relationship. I also haven't seen friends experience that either. I will say this, though, most of my adult life was spent outside of the US and I was meeting women IRL, not online.
@AwesomeCookie "Most women who have this standard about waiting to meet men tend to have more self respect and are more self aware of what they're looking for..." Exactly! Thank you awesome. I know most people will disagree with me on that, particularly men, but it's what I consider normal and ideal when it comes to meeting a man I'm interested in dating. Good things come to those who are willing to wait~
@Cynicaldreamer: I think most guys would find that kind if suspicious or strange if you were local to them. Most people, in general.
@Avicenna I'm not sure if you've read previous comments or posts of mine, but I've never had luck with dating locally. As most of the men are: taken, moved away to a larger city or state, or flat out not interested in me. So most of my past relationships were ldr.So in that circumstance, it's not an issue 😊The only local person I dated, we attended college together. So we grew from friends to more.I think it's safe to say this is a topic we both can agree to disagree on- and that's okay! I respect you for your stance, and I'll stick to my view.
@Avincenna close vicinity or not, any man waiting may be suspiscious or unwilling, but as @Cynicaldreamer said there are some women like us who prefer to wait for sometime prior to meeting. Besides in today's dating world it's so simple to meet online, go on a date two or so days after chatting then be ghosted or sideswiped as to why the guy's (or gal) isn't responding anymore. Any man willing to chat or wait to meet me is a smart one cause I'm not just a cookie, I'm an awesome cookie!
That's a long time. Don't people lose interest?
Yeah but i want be sure who I'm meeting off a dating app is for real , just too many shady characters out there
Thanks For Most Helpful Guy :)
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