Why won't my mother allow me to date?

I am 19 and I will be 20 in October,I currently pursuing my bachelors and my mom still doesn't want me to date. My brother will be 25 soon and she still doesn't want him to date either but of course he still does and of course I still do it behind her back anyways but I wish I could understand her logic or that maybe we could compromise. I really love my boyfriend and I want her to approve of him but I know that will never happen considering that she is also racist but only when it comes to marriage. me and my boyfriend are black but of different ethnicity. I think she feels like it will affect my school work but I am a 4.0 student and this is my 4th boyfriend. She is married to my father but I don't think she is truly happy. Nobody in the family can seem to get through to her and she also doesn't allow me to go out. I use the time that she is at work to go out. Also, I have met all my bf's family and well it just feels sad that he can't meet mine. Any comments, suggestion or related experiences? Could she have a psychological problem?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Yes, it sounds like she has a mental issue I'm sorry to say. I can't imagine why she wouldn't want a 25 year old son to meet a nice girl and be happy. Same goes for a 19 year old daughter (nice guy instead).

    Once a person gets to 18, they've got to be allowed to get out and manage their own lives (unless they themselves are self-destructive or mentally ill). My mom was a bit like this when I got serious with a girl at 18. When she found out I lost my virginity to her she hit the roof and was utterly furious with me for about three days. After that period, she was fine with it and we've had no issues since then. Later we discussed it and she said it was just so hard for her to accept that I wasn't her little boy anymore. Once she got over that all was well.

    • oh OK. well I know she will be mad for more than 3 days, she will do everything in her power to destroy the relationship. I have seen her do it to my brother. and she refuses to accept that she is wrong. I just dnt see any room to make this situation better.

    • Show All
    • Yeah, she's definitely got an issue there. Well, just know you're not doing anything wrong.

    • ok, thanks.

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What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 1

  • That is called an Authoritarian parent, I have those too. If you're over 18, you don't have to live and abide under that rule. I don't know why she's like that

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