Did he hate me or like me...help??

Hi all!

New poster here. I need some objective insight on a guy and my story is a little long so if you can please read and tell me your thoughts, I'll love you forever.

OK, here goes...

I met this guy at work and immediately when I met him, I knew there was something 'special' about him but he was a bit arrogant (a facade perhaps)...

Anyway, I began to ignore him and he mentioned it to me one day in which I didn't respond. After the initial ignoring phase, we had a few tiffs via email and in the last tiff, I got the last word. Funny thing, that night when I went home, I knew that he would be the very first person that I would see the next morning when I walked into work...and he was! There he was coming toward me to confront me about the fight we had via email (all work related) and he pretty much summed up the argument by saying " I don't like this, I don't like this" while simultaneously moving his hand back and forth between the both of us. I felt really bad and decided to try and get along from then on.

Now the entire time that all of this is happening, I started to develop really intense feelings for him and I thought that he started to feel the same. He was a pretty flirty guy and in the beginning flirted with me a few times (like leaning in while talking to me and biting his bottom lip) but I never flirted back. My work attitude is pretty serious and I am pretty closed off to others but I felt like he was the only one that could see right through me. One day he sidled up beside me and smiled warmly after I showed him some teeth, LOL and I noticed that he would get upset and hang his head at times when I wouldn't speak to him. I would also catch him staring at me a couple of times when I wasn't looking and one day he got really nervous around me to the point where he was so jumpy. I also noticed that he would create reasons to come around me for no apparent reason, and his eyebrow would flash in excitement when he would see me coming.

Through all this, I'm sad to say that I never gave him anything to go on (I never once tried to talk to him about anything outside of work or get to know him personally) because I would just stiffen up and get really scared or just focus on the job. Our relationship started to become off and on in the sense that sometimes we would talk and sometimes we wouldn't. I sensed at some point that he couldn't stand me but funny, still wanted to know me. It eventually became a never-ending cycle of us punishing/ignoring each other to the point where he began to run from me/dart out of sight if he saw me coming into the building in the morning for work (something that he never did at the beginning) and it even got to the point where he stopped flirting with me altogether.

I didn't know what to think as I was very scared and shy and immature and not very experienced with men..


I was very scared and shy and immature and not very experienced with men and to be honest, he was a very popular guy with a lot of female attention and quite flirty with many and I just didn't want to be one in a million.


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What Guys Said 1

  • Perfect example of creating an attraction. Any guys who stumbles across this story... stop and take notes.He clearly established his interest but made sure it was done on his own terms. Which is why she seems to be so confused and that confusion is what created the attraction. Most guys don't play it out this way. But than again most guys fail hopelessly in the women department.

    My advice for not only Miss. Anonymous but any guys reading this is go out and pick up some books and gather some general knowledge. This strategy is a textbook example from "Double Your Dating" by David DeAngelo.

    • Thanks inquisitive male. Wow, that is eye opening. So are you saying that he was just merely creating an attraction but not into me at all?

    • Show All
    • Hun. You've got way to many questions and unfortunately I can't answer them. Whether or not he did what he did intentionally or unintentionally can't be said. I'm simply saying that he made you attracted to him using textbook examples. All those questions you have are the reasoning behind why you like him.

    • He is right. I have been there. I had a guy at work showed me interest for months. Going out of his way to see me. Waving and smiling at me. Acting nervous and at a loss for words when it was just he and I in the breakroom. When conversation stopped, he would think of something to say before I would walk away. He was VERY obvious to the point where I was thinking he was going to ask me out any minute. I found out from another person that he had a girlfriend the whole time. OUCH! :(

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