I think its just about weather you like it or not. I mean the whole romqnce thing is kinda cringy to me...
Hehe from your profile picture I can tell you're an N (in the Mbti) or a reflective S. I agree with you. It's staged.https://youtu.be/8SPsD_oXEXY
Im N in mbti 😁
It was supossed to be normal smile
Haha okay. I'm guessing you're an INFP? I'm an ENFP
Nope im very intense im either entj or enfj, none of those to felt it fit but enxj definitelyPeople close go me lean on me being entj
No, i just dont like it, never did, its just staged/fake to me... Kinda unnatural n makes me really uncomfortable
There are guys who are romantic and are quite sincere.
But its a learned behavior, its not natural... But even so it still makes me cringe... I mean i alwqys say im not romantic... At least not traditionally... Maybe it is a personality thing
Yeah its hard to define it really.Can you give an example of what would he do?
He writes and plays me songs, loves to cuddle with me - just cuddling , he smiles beautifully when he kisses me, he loves fancy dates but also just sitting with me in my sweatpants and socks, he watches romantic movies with me... and a lot of other things I could mention that happen on a daily basis. He's always been one to express his emotions and not hold them inside.
Cuddling is completely normalThe only thibg kinda cr8nge to me is writing and playing songsI mean once this guy was singig a song for his girlfriend and that so cringy to meI meqn it can be fine in like private themw just 2 of you but in front of others its so cringy to me
He even went once when I was on my period and came back with Midol, chocolate, and roses. I can imagine that he probably got laughed at, but it was his thought of it that made me smile.
So you are not romantic but just ok with him being so?
Eh, I'll say I'm romantic to the extent of a normal woman. Generally most women are a lot more romantic than men. So yes, I'm romantic, but I love that he is. Most men don't express their feelings so lovingly like he does.
What romantic things you like?
The same things he does, for the most part
Dont you ever feel embaressed? I mean at least for him?
No. What is there to be embarrassed about? We don't go all out in public lol if that's what you mean, but if we are being a little romantic in public without even realizing it people usually tell us we're cute.
what do you like about it?
Well it depends what is it. If it the right moment he could be really cool, but what do you mean by cringe? Opening doors and stuff?
Eg. There was this guy competing in dancing competitiom n he sang a song to his girlfriend... So cringeThan yeah even stuff like opening doors, or getting you flowers, oh man not to mention opening doors of the car... Basically treating me like hendicaped person... Also like seranades...
Dont get me wrong i have nothing against someone being nice n kind to you holding doors cause you are behind zhem etc but doing that just cause you are another gender makes me feel really awkward.
Yeah, I get your point it’s kind of weird. Also the song thing you said lmao, just nope, but kind of cute if someone loves you like that.Anyways, you are right there’s things which are absolutely unnecessary like a guy giving you his jacket ughhhhhhh
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Do you think its personality thing?
i'm a hopeless romantic if that clarifies anything
How would you definw hopless romantic?
exhausted efforts at romance with your past relationships
Thats just having bad experiences in love. Id say hopless romantic is someone who wants magic when it comes to love, more dreamy and sensitive about it. I can relate to that, i just dont consider myself really romantic cause i dont like those traditional displays of affection.
well now i'm hopeless so what's it called? pathetic?
well you can be hopless, doesn't have to be romantichopless when it comes to love
hopelessly in love with an idea of how love should be for me
Yeah, but even so i dont like to be treated as hendicaped person...
Lol, there's a thing as taking it too far, I'm more thinking flowers and such
When can you send msgs on this, just here today
I dont understand what you mean. If you wanted to send mea message im not here for chatting anywqys
A was just asking when, if you can am not sure,
but considering your partner your best friend isn't that really romantic, more realisticbut for some reason i also dont like that saying...
Why do you think one would be uncomfortable about it?
They don't like the attention
Yeah i can relate it beingprivate thing for me but i also really dont like mich traditional roles as ir feels staged and fake...
opening doors for you, any, of the car, making sure you always go first, givnig you always the seat, giving you flowers, serenades etc.
I can only tell you from the male side what I like to do or consider gentlemanly. Opening doors depends on whether it's awkward or not. Since I like to walk "with" my girlfriend, we arrive at a door at the same time, so yes, I'm going to open it for her. I've never been a fan of giving flowers for occasions, even though I've been sort of scolded that "they're not for you, they're for her". Eh, well... I'd rather give something that won't die. On public transportation, if there's one seat left, you can have it if you want it. I'm a musician - so I'll only serenade you if I know you like it.On the receiving end, I'd hate it if a woman gave ME flowers!! I see that question on here once in a while. No, no, NO ! I also don't want to take a bubble bath with you or go for a long walk on the beach, unless it's a secluded beach in the tropics and we're going to have sex !
Its normal and nice to want to treat your parner as special and be kinder to them than to anyone but what bothers me on this topic is that a lot of guys do it as from some manual that is on what guys/girls are supossed to do and like when it comes to romance. It come off as staged and fake to me and it makes it awkward, uncomfortable and makes me cringe. And a lot of them are mad if you dont like what is general way of how men and women are supposed to act and treat you like you are ungrateful.Haha I completely agree about flowers, I mean it will die, like id prefer the flower in the pot if the flowers have to be a gift. I guess for me it has to make sense in order to do certain things. Like I have nothing against someone holding doors for me or giving me the seat if they are just being generaly nice. If they do it just cause of my gender, thats actually sexsist to me. And it bothers me if they dont allow me to do the same to them, like to also be nice like that.
Some guys ARE doing it out of a manual, because they are not by nature "romantic" and show their caring, affection and/or love in other ways... a different language so to speak. BUT... they have been bombarded with "what women like" for years, so they just do that. Then they're shocked when they get a lukewarm response for the reasons you've stated. I can't blame some of these guys because that's what they "think" a woman wants from what women have said. As for the seat thing, I want to clarify I would do that for EITHER gender if they look like they need a seat more than I do. Usually that's an older person, or maybe someone struggling with a baby, or packages, etc. I wouldn't give a healthy, 20 something girl my seat JUST because she's female.
Yeah tho Id definitely think Im not like most women and its hard on me not being romantic, at least not in traditional sense. But I think its still horrible for guys that dont genuenelly do it cause I can totally feel it being fake. I guess andything not natural or genuine makes me cringe. And as I said, I dont really enjoy my role in it which they have hard time understanding. Im the type of person that is like more initative. But a lot of guys like their role and the way it makes them feel so they can push it on you and they dont care that I dont like mine role in it. Thanks for your understanding.
Giving and receiving flowers. Having too high expectations on one's special days like B-days anniversaries etc.
I just feel its all staged and forced with definied roles for both gendersi prefer it being more natural
no, i just dont like it, never did, its more about being staged/fake, like some awkward dance, not natural
Well for me it's more that I'm just an old fashioned guy, on top of that I'm a passionate guy so for me the traditional route is just more in line with how I am, more natural if you will. Plus I'm a painter, poet and writer along with a creative ad artist mind so that gives me more traditional tools to work with then your average person.
Why would it make me feel pathetic?
Well you act in such a way where you are not being 'manly'
Except that I'm a 100% confident in my masculinity and who I am both as a person and a man. On top of that I work a very manly manual labor job, I'm good with my hands, I hunt, fish, work outdoors, I'm a skilled fighter, I workout, among other things. And it traditional acts of romance don't bother me for the most part.I think that allows me some leeway to preform a traditional act of romance now and then don't you think?
I mean im not saying you are a lass of a man doing that even if you were doing feminin job. Its really about preference and what someone likes. For me affection is fine but like private and this whole romantic gests feel staged and fake and awkward
I know I was just saying what I said as an example of why being that way does not bother me.Traditional romance is specifically public or private. Sending flowers to a girl or showing up at her door with a flower or bouquet is a traditional act of romance and it's not at all public for example.
Yeah still cringy... Like i dont like flowers... I mean dead onw like that...I know i alrewdy asked but im curious to know why you like it? I dont feel like you reallyanswered thwt. Like do you like it cause you like to feel certain way? Like how it makes you feel?
I answered your question just not in the way you wanted.I said I liked it because it's more in line with how I am as a person as I'm a old fashioned guy it fits with who I am. But I'll add to that point in that I also like it because it's different not to many people do things the old way anymore, so it's a way to differentiate yourself, from other guys. And like I said because I'm old fashioned it just fits better with who I am as a person, it feels natural for me.
I get it you like traditional ways, i just dont get why, i guess it really is just bow one isAs personally myswlf i really dislike it, always have
I told you why /= *shrugs* well if you don't get it you don't get it I suppose.Well that's fine if you really dislike it, some people just aren't romance people and there's nothing wrong with that.
I dontthink its about me, you just didn't explain well. Well explanation would be as if how it makes you feel. As for me it makes me feel staged, fake, cringy, awkward, like im being treated the way im not, eg. like i have "feminin" traits as being really gentle and delicate
Well I did tell you I do it because it feels natural. And that's why I didn't mention any other way it makes me feel because it just feels natural and that's it, not special, not good, just feels natural and is in line with who I am and is different. That's WHY and that's how I FEEL. Sorry if that's enough "feeling" for you but that's how it feels. And I said that multiple times now /= and there's nothing more to it then what I said above. If you want an answer filled with all the different emotions I could possibly feel from it I'm not you guy. There's those 3 things above and that's it.
OkayBut thats not really natural, its something learned. Natural is being generally kind as you would be to a friend
*shakes head* K
Did I say I naturally did that stuff from the start or naturally wanted to do that stuff? No I didn't, I said it just felt more natural for me as opposed to doing things a more modern way.I'm done with this conversation. Do not reply back because no more replies will be given.
I dont know what do you mean by modern way but okayand no need to be that bothered, we are just discussing, people have different opinions and its fine, its not about judgement but understanding different opinionsIf i want to i will reply, its your right not to reply if you dont want to
Look I apologize I'm not trying to be rude or anything but the conversation just isn't going anywhere and is starting to get tiresome.As for the modern way of doing this, just read this it explains it better then I can.www.mensxp.com/.../...-in-relationships-today.htmlwww.lifelovelemons.com/.../
Yeah i agree it doeant lead anywhere... I guess we dont reqlly understand each otherI cannot open first link, it doeant allow it for Europe... about second link well if modern dating is casual dating to you, i cannot relate. You can still be loyal and want a serious relationship without traditional ways of the men and womens behavior. Eg. I dont like getting flowers, i see no point in it; i dont like men holding doors for me cause i dont alwqys wanna go first, i also like to be more in control; car door opening has no sense to me at all; singing to me? No, it makes me really uncomfortable... I have nothibg against guy being kind and protective towards me, i just dont like anything staged/fake... Or trearing me like im hendicaped
Well at least we can agree on that then. Well that might be true for some people but not for me, the two go hand in hand and that's just the way I am *shrugs*And there's nothing wrong with you being that way, just find a guy that matches that.