Question for the ladies - 14 year old son

Girls -

I am the father of a 14 year old son. I want him to grow up to have better and healthier relationships with women than I did. I did not date much in high school, but I was definitely a "horn-dog" (horny dog). I don't want him being like I was. In trying to help him, I would like to hear from the ladies on here 16 - 21. What do you look for in a guy? Physical looks, his type of personality, what if he is waiting on marriage for sex, what kind of dating do you like (groups or just the two of you), etc. Thank you!

I don't know how this ended up in Sexuality. I meant for it to be under Relationships.


Most Helpful Girl

  • I'm a little older than you're range, but I have a younger brother who is just turning 18. I've helped him grow up and he has had a few girlfriends and goes out nearly everyweekend. The physical looks matter more at that younger age than when they get older. But what really matters is that they look presentable (ie. don't be the kid that has BO in the class). Girls will have their preferences of brown, blond, redhead, etc as well.

    However, more important than looks is humor. Make a girl laugh and she likes him. Know how to make a girl smile, and she's his.

    While throughout middle and high school, most dating is done in groups. It's group dating and or hanging out with a group of friends with couples intermixed. There will be a few dates that's done just with the two of them though. Most of their one on one time can be done by being pulled aside on group dates, or after school activities.

    • Thank you, kateakanne. Good feedback. Especially on the dating issue. I had heard that 'group dating' appears to be more and more popular - safer for all parties involved. Having a good sense of humor and making a girl laugh appears to be a regular theme in the answers here.

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What Girls Said 7

  • Do you want him to get girls? or not get girls? I don't mean to be be demeaning to young girls (I was one once), but 'being cool' was mostly what I cared about back then. I dated a guy because he had a motorcycle for like 2 years when I was 15. Buy him a motorcycle lol.

  • I think that you should let your son decide on whether he wants to wait to have sex until marriage or not, that is a great way to lose his respect for you.

    I think he should wear clothing that fits him. Name brands show that he has a defined style and isn't in that slump of "My mom buys all my clothes at the same place she buys tampons".

    If he is social, he should be fine. Girls like social guys, nothing is worse than a one-sided conversation, might as well be talking to a wall. If he is 14, there is a good chance his hormones have already kicked in. Do you see him hanging around girls? Does he mention girlfriends?

    Girls like guys who can flirt. If he can flirt well, he's won most of the battle.

    • My parents WEREN'T involved in my life, and I don't respect because they didn't have the time to raise me. I am just lucky I didn't end up as a teenage dad or with a lethal disease. I would not be a good father to just turn him loose. While I totally disagree with your answer, I appreciate your opinion and taking time to offer it.

    • Many I should have explained myself a little clearer. You should educate him on consequences and STD's and tell him reasons why he should not have sex until he's married. I think its good to influence him and tell him why you feel the way you do, however I think you should support him on whatever choice he decides to make, because if you do not support him you could easily lose his respect. I don't know if that it seem any better, probably not, just thought I'd share my opinions.

    • I appreciate opinions - even the ones I don't agree with when they are as well stated as yours are. My wife and I will continue to educate him on birth control, pregnancy, STDs, etc. My mother-in-law tried the "keep them ignorant will keep them innocent". It didn't work with my sister-in-law. Yes, your comments helped clarify your position. Thank you for the thoughts.

  • i don't care a whole lot about looks

    i like guys that are sweet and goofy.

    I like dates where its just the two of us.

    it's fine if he's waiting for marriage to have sex

    i'm usually impressed when a guy is respectful but can still show he appreciates a girl with the little things he does just to genuinely be nice. and when he's openminded and doesn't judge my opinion on things.

    • I am raising him to listen to girls and respect them for having a strong mind. I don't want him to be overpowering in a relationship, but he should not be a push over either (which he typically isn't). Sweet and goofy - yup, that would be him. Thank you for the feedback. It is most helpful!

  • I'm 17. I like a tall guy that's cute but I like a lot of different looks and styles. Based on personality I like guys that can make laugh and love animals because I'm a vegetarian. If he's a virgin then that's just icing on the cake. I like all different kinds of dates whether they are group or just the two of us. All of this info really just depends on the girl because everyone has their type and your son is just 14 so there's really no rush for him to date :)

    • Sassy - you bring up something I have not thought about. What if he is not vegetarian which he isn't? I don't believe in abusing animal (I would kill anybody hurting my cats or Corgi). I don't want him dating a muslim for his safety and her's (honor killing), but I have not given much thought about him dating a vegetarian. What do you think? Your feedback is MUCH appreciated!

    • Show All
    • I wish more vegetarians were like you. If they want to live their way, fine with me. It is the ones who get in my face and try to force their values on me who will meet with severe resistance. I like your answers. I am not opposed to hunting - I just chose not to participate. Sassy - you are classy. Stay that way.

    • thanks a lot :)

  • i would look for a guy who looks after himself and takes pride in the way he looks without being too done-up :) a man who's a gentleman when he needs to be but is perfectly able of sticking up for himself i.e. holds doors open, helps people out when they need it but still can hold his own in an arguement.. someone who is confident in themself is probably the most important thing :) oh and have nice hair :) .. I'm 16 by the way :)

    • Interesting feedback. Sounds like you want more of the complete package - decent to good looks and treats you like a lady. Not too unrealistic. What if the guy was, say average looking (not butt ugly), but still treated you like his princess? Would you be willing to trade a bit in the looks department for a guy who is not a control freak, treats you bad or is overly possessive of you? My son is tall, built, blond and green eyes - he got his looks from his mother.

    • yeah obviously, I mean when I say good looking I generally mean decent so long as he's not butt ugly I don't necessarily mean model stature, id rather have someone who treated me nicely and wasn't the most attractive person in the room to some god who was a complete dooshbag :)

    • Point well stated and taken. I liek the way you think.

  • i look for a good looking guy usually around my height or taller...he doesn't have to look like a model but decent=]... I like a guy to have a sense of humor, be a gentlemen but still like to have fun, kinda protective but not obsessive, and if he's waiting then that's great!

    • Sounds like a good combination. Anything about a guy that would be a total show stopper for you?

    • umm I'm not really into loud and obnoxious guys but I don't really wanna stereotype ...but yeah no arrogance

  • a nice funny sweet guy who is hot and gets a bonner easily


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