What to expect when DATING a MAN with a CHILD?

Just need a little advice on what to expect when dating a man who has a child (Never married) . Of course the child comes first I understand that but what about the child's mother who was with him for a year and hates any women who comes close to her child father?

Added question:

Say for example the man get's married 5 years later to another women and has a child. Would that change anything? What should be expected?

Woops sorry they were dating for 2 years. The child is 1 year and few months.


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  • I'm sorry, this is going to be a rant...

    I am also dating a man who has two children (this is my first time and I have no children of my own). I'm not going to lie, it was very difficult for me... not so much the children themselves.. but the rollercoaster of emotions I went through. I have one mother who is insane and hates everyone, and another that is trying to be my best friend. Honestly I wish they would just go away. I don't mind dealing with the children, it is the exes and general 'baggage' that comes with it that I have a hard time with. You will come to realize that women have almost ALL control over children (my boyfriend is in a custody war right now). It is heartbreaking to watch, and you are told that it 'has nothing to do with you and to stay out of his business', which is hard because it DOES affect you. It affects your time with him, your combined finances, and things like whether or not you two can move out of town. I don't know how involved in the child's life he is, mine has one of the children every night, which makes me feel a bit robbed honestly. I get to raise some other woman's child, and experience all the hardships of it, without any of the benefits really... it is not my child, and I'm "not allowed" to act as her mother (according to her birth mother).

    That saying that "children come first" is true in some sense, but your partner requires an equal amount of attention if you want to keep a relationship alive. My boyfriend is very aware of this and goes out of his way to make sure we have some adult time, and that he is not ignoring me to be with his children (and visa versa). He was just unlucky in life (men have no control once a woman is pregnant) and I won't punish him for that no matter how hard it gets, as he is a good man and deserves a normal relationship. If you love him, and he is willing to address your needs as well as his child's, it can work. The appreciation my boyfriend shows me for standing by him is unbelievable, one good thing about an unexpected child is it really seems to mature a man, and make him appreciative of the "good women" out there.

    • Wow, I really appreciate you taking the time to say everything you just said. My boyfriend was also dealing with the courts when it came to him, his ex and his child. And honestly, it is really hard to watch. It's true, they don't want you taking on their problems and this is something that he always tells me but it is hard to just ignore. Once you get involed with someone you can't just block out a certain part of their life that you don't like, you accept all of it.