Should I have just kissed her?

Hi, I met this girl on a weekend away with friends. We chatted, but never got intimate. When we got back from the weekend, I asked her out, and she turned me down twice. She said she was working, so we re-scheduled and I took her out and we had a great evening together. We ended up back at my apartment and talked for about 3 hours. It felt like sparks were flying, and when I leaned in to kiss her, she said she should go. I laughed about it and walked her to the station. On the way she dropped hints about meeting again in the next few days. I said cool - and asked her what she wanted to do, and she said she wanted to see a movie. Tonight we met again, and we walked to the cinema and chatted - the conversation was a little dry, but I think we were both a little tired after work. I walked her back home, and when we got to the door she said I shouldn't come in as her mother + sister were there. She stood at the door, and I was not sure whether to kiss her or not. It felt forced. I sort of feel like I should have made a move, but didn't want to get rejected. She is a really

great girl, and I have feelings for her, but its not getting onto the next stage, although it feels like it should. Should I have just kissed her anyway ? Perhaps it was best playing it cool and saying good-night. I texted her after I left, and told her I had a great night, but have not had a response yet. I feel like she might be upset I did not make a move . or maybe she is glad that I didn't and wants to leave it. What should I do ?

I texted her yesterday, and was really honest, told her I didn't know what I was doing + felt awkward, really liked her a lot + would like to see her again.She texted me back saying she felt the same way, and we should meet for wine, pizza and a snog :)


Most Helpful Girl

  • Not every girl wants to kiss on the first date, which I could really see that for the reason why she turned away the first time.

    She could also now be trying not to be tooo eager. Maybe she is dissappointed but I really don't think she will cut you off just because you didn't kiss her the 2nd date, especially since you did let her know you had a great time, which is basically what you are saying with a kiss on the first dates.

    I'd wait it out for a few days and try to set something up again if she hasn't responded by then. She'll have made her mind up by then if she's on the fence.

    • Thanks for the advice. I think you are right - waiting it out is probably the best thing to do.

      I really think there is a chemistry between us, it just hasn't 'dropped' for some reason.

      Patience might be the best way, and if she still seems distant, then I will move on.

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 3

  • Wow…I guess a lot is going on in the guy’s mind before he makes the first move! My first boyfriend didn’t kiss me for the longest time because he knew I was a Christian and I guess he assumed that Christian = first kiss at the alter! Yikes…So, my current boyfriend told me to just kiss him first and not worry about it, which I did. And I broke up with him a week later…go figure and got together with the guy who gave me the rotten piece of advice!

    Moral of story: Guy, kiss the girl. Don’t keep her wondering by worrying or overanalyzing it. You will both regret it later. Just make sure the mood and setting are right, and 10:1 she will be swooning at your feet!



    • Cheers ! I guess its just getting the courage up, and still reading the signals. I'm probably thinking about it too much anyway :)

  • I would say always err on the side of caution--if I ever feel like a first kiss is forced I get really nervous and don't want it to happen. I would say take her on another date and (this is going to sound funny) watch the movie hitch! there's a part about first kisses that I absolutely LOVE.

    • Hi Hitch sounds cool ! Ill check it out ... I texted her yesterday, and was really honest, told her I didn't know what I was doing + felt awkward, really liked her a lot + would like to see her again.

      She texted me back saying she felt the same way, and we should meet for wine, pizza and a snog :)

  • I agree w/tex151! Your window of opportunity is fading fast! From my perspective, if a man doesn't try to kiss me on the first or second date, the signal that it sends is.he's not confident in himself or he isn't interested. From that point on, he is usually just my friend. So playing it cool isn't always the best especially since your not a kid.just food for thought!

    • Hi - I don't think I'm playing it too cool. I feel she knows I'm into her. I guess after her not wanting to get intimate the first time round, I am respecting her space. I'm not acting like a kid - I'm trying to read her and understand what she wants. I know I can't second guess her. But I feel I should hold off. When it drops its going to be amazing :)

What Guys Said 1

  • Ok man this girl turned you down twice and then finally she said yes, you took her back to your place, and talked for 3 hours. You can't just talk to a girl for 3 hours, you gotta touch her and joke with her, so of course if you didn't do that then no wonder she wouldn't let you kiss her. Ok moving on, then she hinted she wanted to go to a movie and you took her and after that you didn't kiss her, and now your wondering why you haven t heard back from her.

    She gave you more than enough opportunities to make a move and you didn't do it, Why the hell not? I hate to say this but your window of opportunity has probably closed on you. Here's my opinion on kissing, do it on the first date and you will get a second date, if you don't and you get a second date with her, then you better do it then, cause if not you will only be seen as her friend.

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