Flirting with other woman

My husband of 18 years has on a number of occasions chatted up woman telling one how stunning she was and taking her phone number and texting her ,is this behaviour acceptable ? as he makes me feel I'm over reacting when I have questioned him.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Based on your entry, I don't find the behaviour acceptable at all, especially after you have expressed to him how it makes you feel.

    It is one thing to look at another woman, just looking, not staring. It is another to ask for her phone number and text messaging her.

    He is lacking respect towards you and he seems to not care about your opinion or how you feel.

    However, you don't say anything about the 18 years together or when this behaviour started. All relationships have ups and downs, but mature relationships (independently of the age) will find a way to work things out.

    Take a look at the other aspects of your marriage. Have some things changed that might have caused a change in behaviour? Work, health, finance can all cause someone to change behaviour, in both men and women.

    Has he always been this way but it is just now starting to hit home? Or has he just now started this?

    You know your spouse more than anyone else on this site. What gets and keeps his attention? Perhaps you can find other ways to communicate to him how you feel. Would a candle light dinner and a relaxing evening on the couch help him to be more open to listening to your feelings? Or would a pillow fight and a tickling match do the trick? Would getting him to talk about his feelings reveal something to you that would shed some light as to his behaviour?

    I don't know if what I have written will help you at all.

    I do know that 18 years of marriage is a record in today's society. I congratulate you and wish you all the best. You deserve it.


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What Guys Said 1

  • Well I think if you phrase it by telling him it makes you sad and you loose confidence in yourself when he does it I think. He would stop. No guy wants to hurt there girl unless there realy argree. If you can convey these feelings without getting him angry you will drive your point home. Don't point your finger at him point your finger at your feelings abd ironicly it will make him take a look at himself.

    • I have done exactly as you suggested on many occasions and at first he tries to make me feel I'm being paranoid and then when the truth comes out and I'm proved right he says he's sorry and that's it's not a big deal and I shouldn't worry because he would never do anything with any of the woman he chats up because he loves me.

      He has also in the past joined a dating site he said because he was curious!! I don't have the trust in him that I would like and what I had .

What Girls Said 4

  • That's a slippery slope for emotional cheating. And emotional cheating can lead to physical cheating. Unless this woman is a relative, there is no acceptable excuse for getting someone's number and texting them. What is he, 19?!? I'd be flipping out if I were you. I highly doubt he'd be okay if the tables were turned and YOU were the one getting numbers and chatting up random guys.

    If he can't respect your concerns, and continues his behavior, maybe there's something bigger underneath the surface. You deserve to know everything that's going on... something isn't right.

  • Start not caring about how he talks to other women and start talking to other men. I don't think there is anything wrong with telling someone you think they are stunning as long as you come home to your man.

  • My husband used to do this. I used to tell him that exchanging phone numbers with women was unacceptable. He would promise not to do it again. The last one, I discovered he was texting over 20 times a day. I asked him about it, he swore up and down they were just friends. 2 months later, he left me and our two sons for her. I'm not saying that this will happen to you, but if y0u're not happy about it, you should definitely not let him convince you that you are just being paranoid.

  • its definitely not acceptable.