Why sign onto a dating site if you're not ready to date?

have my profile on a dating site. A man was interested and sent me a message on a Thursday night. Friday I responded, and it kind of just took off. We exchanged pictures, text back and forth Friday. We talked on the phone for hours Friday night, talked Saturday and Saturday night, along with sending texts. Sunday, we talked and sent texts. Monday went the same. We were talking about meeting the following Saturday night for dinner. On Tuesday, we talked at lunch and he said he was going to call when he got off work. I sent him a text, and he didn't respond back. He didn't call that night, nor the next day. I sent him a text and left a voice mail asking if he was alright. On Wednesday night, he wrote me a message saying that he had gotten out of a 5 year relationship 2 months earlier, and he thought it was going too fast. I agreed that is was going a little fast, but that we could still talk as friends. I haven't heard anything back from him. Why put yourself out there if you don't think you are ready to date again? Why completely cut yourself off from a person that just that morning you were talking to? We weren't talking marriage or anything crazy like that. just talking about family, what we wanted in a relationship, our day, etc. Please help me understand. I did tell him that I appreciated him being honest with me and letting me know what was going on with him.


No, I didn't pay for the subscription. he did. He had "winked" at me a couple of weeks earlier. he wasn't a paid member at the time, either. He told me (which could have been bs) that when he got paid that he signed up for the month so that he could message me.


Most Helpful Girl

  • He may have thought he was ready, and then realized he wasn't when he "met" you. I went through a period like that after my divorce, when I wanted to date but it was really to force myself to move on faster than I was ready for. So if I met someone who actually seemed interesting and interested, it was actually scary and threatening.

    I'm surprised, though, that he let it go on for as long as he did. But still, I really don't think it's about you. \


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 0

Be the first guy to share an opinion
and earn 1 more Xper point!

What Girls Said 2

  • Its strange but it seems that it happens all the time in today's society! People are so confused after divorce or LTR. Many men on dating sites, paid or otherwise, are there for a reason!

    Either they are players, especially if they have been there for a long time or they just can't find what they are want because they don't know themselves! Much like women, men don't take the time to get over relationships, they just move on to someone else, hence lies the problem.

    I recently dated a guy, who I met on Match.com several years ago. I had been out of a divorce for 5 years and wanted to date again. He had been out of his marriage for 3 years at that time!

    Here we are 3 years later and he contacted me via email from long ago. Here's the kicker, he was still on Match.com! So.in the end he was a player. So becare of online dating.because many do not really want to date!

  • he just wanted someone to fill his head to get his mind off of other things.