Why do people waste their time dating if they dont see themselves getting married?

Question

I dont see what is the point to continue wasting time dating people when majority of them isn't going to take you serious. Ok people talk about you must be a high value woman but if dudes on tinder are just looking to hookup that is what they are going to want from you. Dating apps are just for people who want to seek validation. You can't really trust a platform if it is only based on dating people based on their looks and without knowing their personality.

Answer 1

WalkingCorpse

Xper 3

Thats so true! Thats actually why i dont date or bother getting in a relationship, its all become a waste of time, effort, and emotions. Now people only get in them to fulfil their sexual desires and fill their lonlieness. Its not even about bonding and helping each other grow now. You know the sad part is their isn't a lot of girls like you, y'all are the rarest girls out there.
- much love and respect for being a real woman🌹

Answer 2

Wozarella

Xper 1

I'm not really a fan of Tinder and the like either, but that is because a) I don't have a lot of success there, and b) I find selecting dates from a "catalogue" very unromantic and empty. I like that thing where you meet someone e. g. at work, and you can feel that there is a mutual interest, and you get the shy smiles and tentative conversation and all that shit. Getting to know each other slowly and naturally. I like that.

Asker

5 mo
I agree because when you are swiping on tinder you are judging them by their looks and not personality. I'm sorry but I have to be physically attracted to someone. They say go by character but I dont see it working out just by their personality I got to have both. Guys on tinder dont want any serious anyway.
Wozarella

5 mo
I also want to be physically attracted. I don't think there is anything wrong with that. But I would agree that Tinder does not exactly incentivize guys to look for a serious relationship or to put in a whole lot of effort. And because a lot of women will go for the same few hot guys, those guys can pick and choose and don't "need" to treat a woman well, because there will always be a new one waiting in line.
Asker

5 mo
Exactly I heard when a beautiful woman is with an ugly dude just because he treats her good. Than other women will see that and then he will cheat on that woman because now other women want him. Some women say that it ended up working out for them because they grew to love their men even though they didn't find them attractive at first.
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Wozarella

5 mo
That may happen sometimes, I suppose. I definitely think the bandwagon effect is real. I tend to get much more interest from women when I am in a relationship than when I am single. I also do believe some women value looks less, and maybe those are the people who tell you not to care about looks. But some people are more visually-oriented than others.
Asker

5 mo
I figured out that when I complain about stuff it doesn't help solve my problems. I just be feeling stuck and overthink everything thing that I do. I be like oh I should do this because this is how I am going to get a guy to like me.
Wozarella

5 mo
I don't have a lot of experience, but the way they develop software these days is often that they release an early version and then use the feedback to improve it.

I have thought that maybe that is what I should do in dating. Instead of hiding myself away and trying to improve, always to improve, with no real results, I should put myself out there, get some rejection and learn from bitter experience.

Answer 3

Asker

I agree because when you are swiping on tinder you are judging them by their looks and not personality. I'm sorry but I have to be physically attracted to someone. They say go by character but I dont see it working out just by their personality I got to have both. Guys on tinder dont want any serious anyway.

Answer 4

Wozarella

I also want to be physically attracted. I don't think there is anything wrong with that. But I would agree that Tinder does not exactly incentivize guys to look for a serious relationship or to put in a whole lot of effort. And because a lot of women will go for the same few hot guys, those guys can pick and choose and don't "need" to treat a woman well, because there will always be a new one waiting in line.

Answer 5

Asker

Exactly I heard when a beautiful woman is with an ugly dude just because he treats her good. Than other women will see that and then he will cheat on that woman because now other women want him. Some women say that it ended up working out for them because they grew to love their men even though they didn't find them attractive at first.

Answer 6

Wozarella

That may happen sometimes, I suppose. I definitely think the bandwagon effect is real. I tend to get much more interest from women when I am in a relationship than when I am single. I also do believe some women value looks less, and maybe those are the people who tell you not to care about looks. But some people are more visually-oriented than others.

Answer 7

Asker

I figured out that when I complain about stuff it doesn't help solve my problems. I just be feeling stuck and overthink everything thing that I do. I be like oh I should do this because this is how I am going to get a guy to like me.

Answer 8

Wozarella

I don't have a lot of experience, but the way they develop software these days is often that they release an early version and then use the feedback to improve it.

I have thought that maybe that is what I should do in dating. Instead of hiding myself away and trying to improve, always to improve, with no real results, I should put myself out there, get some rejection and learn from bitter experience.

Answer 9

PrudentGuy | 314 opinions shared on Dating topic.

Yoda

Honest answer? To have sex.

Ya I'm a guy. There is only one reason why I date: to have the opportunity to fuck.

And since the "indemnity" of marriage is so high (woman's liberation, no man's consideration law), why marry when I can get sex before marrying?

Finally, with the logical mind of a guy, since almost all first marriages fails, why get into the "legal entanglement" when we can have sex without legal commitment?

Hence I agree with you, marriage is meaningless but dating is a need, to get sex.

Answer 10

In_Trance | 3.1K opinions shared on Dating topic.

Master

I don't understand your thinking at all. With respect, very close minded and naïve.
Dating is how you learn. Everyone has a lot to learn before they're ready for the commitment of a lifetime.
Dating allows you to learn everything you need from a variety of people; every situation and person has their nuances to learn from. This allows endless room for error also. That way, when the right person comes along, you've learned everything you need to know (in theory) to make for a successful relationship. All too often, people choose not to reflect on dates and past relationships and acknowledge the valuable lessons they've learned and foolishly rush into the next (relationship) repeating the same mistakes.
Dating is whatever you make it to be. A waste of time...…. never

Asker

5 mo
Yeah to you I seem naive but you are narrow minded for not seeing what I am trying to say. I'm not wasting any more of my time if I am dating with a purpose. Maybe they aren't dating for what I am looking for. But what sense does that make if I date guys who aren't looking for what I am wanting in life. Come on use your common sense.
In_Trance

5 mo
What's a waste of time to one is a valuable use to another. Their purpose is different than yours, but with the same endgame I f you're dating guys that don't want the same thing you want from life, you've just proven what I said in my first response, so thank for that. Using common sense eliminates moral absolutions; which is also beneficial when you're trying to find yourself and understand others.
Asker

5 mo
Yes I'm sorry I understand where you are coming at now.

Answer 11

Asker

Yeah to you I seem naive but you are narrow minded for not seeing what I am trying to say. I'm not wasting any more of my time if I am dating with a purpose. Maybe they aren't dating for what I am looking for. But what sense does that make if I date guys who aren't looking for what I am wanting in life. Come on use your common sense.

Answer 12

In_Trance

What's a waste of time to one is a valuable use to another. Their purpose is different than yours, but with the same endgame I f you're dating guys that don't want the same thing you want from life, you've just proven what I said in my first response, so thank for that. Using common sense eliminates moral absolutions; which is also beneficial when you're trying to find yourself and understand others.

Answer 13

Asker

Yes I'm sorry I understand where you are coming at now.

Answer 14

Kurαȷ | 855 opinions shared on Dating topic.

Guru

Because they want a relationship?
What does marriage have anything to do with it?

Marriage is for insecure people who seek validation and assurance that their relationship is going to last.
That's just a fact.

Two people who genuinely wish to be together have no need for marriage.

Answer 15

blank_expression | 89 opinions shared on Dating topic.

Xper 6

So, no baby making, no sex? There are some that go that route. There are also some that use sex only to maximize pleasure. And then there are some that just date for companionship and the need to formalize asset consolidation for the probate system is low on their list.

Answer 16

Liam_Hayden | 3.6K opinions shared on Dating topic.

Guru

I have zero interest in marriage under current laws, but dating is not a waste to me. I date for fun and companionship. It is fine if you have different dating goals, but you should not assume that people who do not share your goals are wasting their time.

Answer 17

thegirlfromthething | 1.4K opinions shared on Dating topic.

Guru

Some people don’t want to participate in the institution of marriage but still want a relationship. Some people do want marriage and don’t see themselves marrying the person they’re dating, but they can still enjoy the companionship and intimacy that person brings. A relationship isn’t a waste just because it doesn’t end in marriage.

Asker

5 mo
People aren't even looking for a relationship.
WalkingCorpse

5 mo
It is a waste because if you dont see them with you in the future then whats the relationship for? Let me guess sex? Hm sad that people choose that over bonding
thegirlfromthething

5 mo
@WalkingCorpse Getting married or being together long-term aren’t the only ways for a relationship to have value. You don’t have to do either of those things to bond with someone or enrich their life. And you don’t decide what’s valuable or worthwhile for other people. If you only feel like marriage or long-term commitment make your relationships not wasteful, that’s fine. But it’s not your place to determine whether someone else is wasting their time when they have different priorities.
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Asker

5 mo
If people dont want to get married than that is fine but dont waste my time if you dont want to commit to either a relationship or married. That is why I say goodbye to dating apps because you dont really know who they truly are. You are just swiping them because you like the way that they look. I say find someone that wants the same thing as you do. Dont try to be something you're not just to keep them because It won't work. I am tired if men on tinder looking down on me just because i want to get married and have kids. I feel that they are afraid of commitment because there is something in them that they dont like about themselves. But people can do whatever they want to do but dont have me involved. I'm going to say what i want and stop playing myself because people dont respect me. If i tag along to what they want.
thegirlfromthething

5 mo
Then the problem is that they’re not being honest about their intentions, not that they don’t want marriage or a long-term relationship.
WalkingCorpse

5 mo
@thegirlfromthething mhmm so how would a short term relationship bring value exactly because the only thing that comes to mind is hoping from person to person relationship to relationship to fulfill sexual desires until you meet someone worth while.
Asker

5 mo
Well then I dont need to be looking in the wrong places to find what I want. Just because they dont want something it doesn't mean that I want it. They dont even care if you want a relationship or not they still try to manipulate you to do what they want. I'm saying there is toxic people out there.
Asker

5 mo
@WalkingCorpse thank you
thegirlfromthething

5 mo
@WalkingCorpse You can still have fun and new experiences by going on dates and spending time with a short-term partner. Sex or intimacy is usually involved and people enjoy that too but it’s not automatically the only reason they’re together.

Answer 18

Asker

People aren't even looking for a relationship.

Answer 19

WalkingCorpse

It is a waste because if you dont see them with you in the future then whats the relationship for? Let me guess sex? Hm sad that people choose that over bonding

Answer 20

thegirlfromthething

@WalkingCorpse Getting married or being together long-term aren’t the only ways for a relationship to have value. You don’t have to do either of those things to bond with someone or enrich their life. And you don’t decide what’s valuable or worthwhile for other people. If you only feel like marriage or long-term commitment make your relationships not wasteful, that’s fine. But it’s not your place to determine whether someone else is wasting their time when they have different priorities.

Answer 21

Asker

If people dont want to get married than that is fine but dont waste my time if you dont want to commit to either a relationship or married. That is why I say goodbye to dating apps because you dont really know who they truly are. You are just swiping them because you like the way that they look. I say find someone that wants the same thing as you do. Dont try to be something you're not just to keep them because It won't work. I am tired if men on tinder looking down on me just because i want to get married and have kids. I feel that they are afraid of commitment because there is something in them that they dont like about themselves. But people can do whatever they want to do but dont have me involved. I'm going to say what i want and stop playing myself because people dont respect me. If i tag along to what they want.

Answer 22

thegirlfromthething

Then the problem is that they’re not being honest about their intentions, not that they don’t want marriage or a long-term relationship.

Answer 23

WalkingCorpse

@thegirlfromthething mhmm so how would a short term relationship bring value exactly because the only thing that comes to mind is hoping from person to person relationship to relationship to fulfill sexual desires until you meet someone worth while.

Answer 24

Asker

Well then I dont need to be looking in the wrong places to find what I want. Just because they dont want something it doesn't mean that I want it. They dont even care if you want a relationship or not they still try to manipulate you to do what they want. I'm saying there is toxic people out there.

Answer 25

Asker

@WalkingCorpse thank you

Answer 26

thegirlfromthething

@WalkingCorpse You can still have fun and new experiences by going on dates and spending time with a short-term partner. Sex or intimacy is usually involved and people enjoy that too but it’s not automatically the only reason they’re together.

Answer 27

winterfox10 | 3.9K opinions shared on Dating topic.

Master

Sometimes you find someone who is exactly what you need for where you are in life. Situations change though, and you can't always see far enough ahead to know how things will change.

Answer 28

hello123456789

Xper 5

Companionship! Dating and marriage are two different things.

Answer 29

Anonymous

Why do you have to be married? You can "live happily ever after" and not be married. Think of the divorce rate... how does it prove "commitment" or "seriousness"? Think about that.

Asker

5 mo
I grow on my own I dont need to waste my time on people who aren't going to fulfill my life.

Answer 30

Asker

I grow on my own I dont need to waste my time on people who aren't going to fulfill my life.

Answer 31

codyccc | 1.8K opinions shared on Dating topic.

Guru

Love activates the same part of your brain as cocaine so in reality love in a chemical addiction according to your brain so its hard to break

Answer 32

Anonymous

Because guys date to get sex.
It’s women who want the lock down shit.

Answer 33

Anonymous

Because their penises are still getting hard, just like animals they meet for fuck, and they are less human and more animal.

Answer 34

ak3096

Xper 4

Gaining experience, exploring choices

Answer 35

coffeewithcream | 514 opinions shared on Dating topic.

Explorer

Sampling.
It's like wine tasting.

Answer 36

reptocarl2

Yoda

Safe sex

Why do people waste their time dating if they dont see themselves getting married?

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