I asked him if we could meet to talk about the fact that we had sex, but I changed my mind?

Question

He went radio silence for two weeks after sex and I guess I just needed a closure, so I asked him if we could meet up to talk. He accepted and we're supposed to meet up tomorrow to talk about it, but I realized that there's no point in talking about it. It was a spontaneous one time thing that I just want to forget it ever happened. He obviously doesn't want anything further with me, so having a closure is pointless.
Should I go anyway? What do I even say, how do I start the conversation about it when I actually don't want it? Should I cancel?

Updates:

1 y

I think he agreed to meet up just to be nice, to make me feel better. Which makes me feel even worse, lol.

Answer 1

Cynicaldreamer | 3.3K opinions shared on Dating topic.

Influencer

At least you realized he doesn't want anything more do to with you (which makes him an ass), so no, you really don't need closure, or to see him again if you rather not.

Personally if I were you, I would text or call him and say you changed your mind about meeting with him. Thank him for being willing to meet up but, "It's no longer necessary." Thank him if you wish for being willing to come, but that's it. Don't waste any more of your time or thoughts on him.

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Asker

1 y
Yeah, part of the reason I initially wanted to talk to him is to let him know that ghosting me was an ass move. I hate when people get away with it like it's totally acceptable. So I wanted to call him out on it. Seemed like an empowering thing to do.
Another reason was to let him know that I changed my mind about wanting a relationship with him, and that we can be cool with each other when with mutual friends. I didn't want him thinking that I'm pining over him and waiting for him, just wanted to say I'm done so he doesn't get the idea that he can hit me up after months like nothing happened (I hate when ghosters reappear and I'm 100% sure he will do that).
Cynicaldreamer

1 y
"I hate when ghosters reappear and I'm 100% sure he will do that" He will. And that's when you ignore him. Don't give him a reply or bother dealing with him again. Basically distance yourself from him, but still treat him respectfully if you see him, you know. You don't have to be nice, just polite. But don't let him back in your life again: EVER.

Trust me, if you don't talk to him, he won't care either way
Asker

1 y
I just told him that I changed my mind about "having the talk", said it wasn't necessary. He didn't seemed bothered at all, was like "Oh, okay". Lol. I totally agree with you that he doesn't care. I'll be polite if we happen to together on some events, and that's all.
I still feel kinda bumped, I hate when this happens, sucks the life out of me.

Answer 2

Asker

Yeah, part of the reason I initially wanted to talk to him is to let him know that ghosting me was an ass move. I hate when people get away with it like it's totally acceptable. So I wanted to call him out on it. Seemed like an empowering thing to do.
Another reason was to let him know that I changed my mind about wanting a relationship with him, and that we can be cool with each other when with mutual friends. I didn't want him thinking that I'm pining over him and waiting for him, just wanted to say I'm done so he doesn't get the idea that he can hit me up after months like nothing happened (I hate when ghosters reappear and I'm 100% sure he will do that).

Answer 3

Cynicaldreamer

"I hate when ghosters reappear and I'm 100% sure he will do that" He will. And that's when you ignore him. Don't give him a reply or bother dealing with him again. Basically distance yourself from him, but still treat him respectfully if you see him, you know. You don't have to be nice, just polite. But don't let him back in your life again: EVER.

Trust me, if you don't talk to him, he won't care either way

Answer 4

Asker

I just told him that I changed my mind about "having the talk", said it wasn't necessary. He didn't seemed bothered at all, was like "Oh, okay". Lol. I totally agree with you that he doesn't care. I'll be polite if we happen to together on some events, and that's all.
I still feel kinda bumped, I hate when this happens, sucks the life out of me.

Answer 5

Gedaria

Master

Not knowing the details, cannot say anything , these things happen, we get into a situation where you feel is right, but looking back you have stepped over the mark. I've been there and it was long Tim friend, both of us were feeling upset and things went too far.
We are still friends and has added a edge to our friend ship.
Talking it over can help both of you, but that I you choice...

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Answer 6

Txesketo

Xper 1

I think there is nothing wrong in meeting to be mentally on the same page.

I would even ask about what does make him not to repeat or just ghosting, but that's me trying to analyze my relationahips and learn from them, like a school lesson, which often, has not much of a point.

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Answer 7

MarkyMark77

Xper 6

im confused can u tell what happened like why u had sex and are you friends with benefits or what?

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Asker

1 y
We connected via Instagram (I was hitting on him, lol) and then he started inviting me to group hangouts with his friends. Went good for few weeks, we were just hanging out as friends, I was sure he friendzoned me. Then one night he texted me to meet up and silly drunk me went to his place with PURELY FRIENDLY intentions. But we somehow ended up kissing and one thing led to another and then we had sex. Stupid, I know. I developed feelings for him after that obviously, and even asked him to come over to watch a movie few days later, to which he said he'll let me know when he's free... I guess I thought there was something there and that he'll follow up soon like in few days, but the fact that he left hanging for 2 weeks I realized it was just a one night stand for him. And I felt bad about it all and wanted to talk about it...
MarkyMark77

1 y
dont feel bad its no that uncommon. did he take ur virginity? so what u wanna do going forward with him?

Answer 8

Asker

We connected via Instagram (I was hitting on him, lol) and then he started inviting me to group hangouts with his friends. Went good for few weeks, we were just hanging out as friends, I was sure he friendzoned me. Then one night he texted me to meet up and silly drunk me went to his place with PURELY FRIENDLY intentions. But we somehow ended up kissing and one thing led to another and then we had sex. Stupid, I know. I developed feelings for him after that obviously, and even asked him to come over to watch a movie few days later, to which he said he'll let me know when he's free... I guess I thought there was something there and that he'll follow up soon like in few days, but the fact that he left hanging for 2 weeks I realized it was just a one night stand for him. And I felt bad about it all and wanted to talk about it...

Answer 9

MarkyMark77

dont feel bad its no that uncommon. did he take ur virginity? so what u wanna do going forward with him?

Answer 10

GreenGold1992 | 3.7K opinions shared on Dating topic.

Master

cancel

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I asked him if we could meet to talk about the fact that we had sex, but I changed my mind?

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