Moving leg towards girl cheating?

Question

I worked with this female that i found kinda attractive. I never flirted or had sexual contact with her. We were friends. One day some co workers including me and her sat a table. I might be remembering incorrectly but i think she sat next to me and out legs touched and i was turned on from that. by the way i have a girlfriend and she has a boyfriend so. I think our legs separated and I eventually moved it closer again cuz i guess it just felt good feeling another womans leg after years with my girlfriend. I never cheated ok my girl before so I don't know if this is considered or whatever. I have bad anxiety and have had panic attacks in the past about small shit like this. Please some advice and insight would be helpful thanks

Answer 1

Smoke-n-Growls | 425 opinions shared on Dating topic.

Guru

That's not exactly cheating, but I can see why your anxiety is making you feel like this is a huge deal.

It's that "It felt good feeling another woman's leg after years with my girlfriend" that makes this a possible start down a rocky road. What is it about another woman's touch that makes it better than your girlfriend's? Do you feel like just touching another woman is "bad"? And why do you feel this way?

I've been with my current partner for a year, and we're monogamous, but I cuddle with a close guy friend of mine closely. It's something I tell my partner about and something he's glad I have (though admittedly he's jealous he can't be up here with me - he lives in the US and I'm in Canada). Likewise, I encourage him to seek out his female friends who are Covid-free for a snuggle if he needs it. We agree on no sex, but we're both physically affectionate people who need a hug every now and again. So we allow each other that freedom and trust in each other not to break that.

Touching your leg to this woman's shouldn't be an issue in and of itself. Even on purpose, it's just touch and there's nothing more behind it (I'm assuming).

The way you've worded this, it makes me wonder if your girlfriend perhaps isn't letting you touch or interact much with any women other than her. Is that right?

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Asker

1 y
I forgot to state our “cheating rules”. For us its no flirting, or sexual contact with anyone else unless we both know about it. So no she doesn’t allow me to touch anyone else sexually unless she knows about it
Smoke-n-Growls

1 y
I'd ask her for clarification then - sitting side-by-side with a woman and brushing your leg against hers (especially by accident) is not what I would consider "sexual contact".

And if she freaks out that you're even asking, you're in the wrong relationship. A woman with a healthy perception towards this would be glad you're asking for clarification - a woman with control issues and lots of insecurities will be angry you've even asked.

Are you allowed to have other female friends?
Asker

1 y
I feel like touching another female sexually without my girlfriends consent is bad. And it feels cuz i crave another woman’s touch which I know i normal. I already talked to her about that. Were both in our primes so she knows i have sexual cravings for other woman including her.
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Asker

1 y
Feels good*
Asker

1 y
I can have female friends but i can tell my girlfriend would be the jealous type. For example if I went out to dinner with a female friend. She would most likely trip. Im guessing she would because i never been out to dinner with any other female in our relationship.
Smoke-n-Growls

1 y
You're right that touching another woman sexually without your girlfriend's consent is bad and cheating. But you accidentally brushing up against your coworker's leg is not cheating. Heck, even just sitting next to her consciously isn't cheating. Make sure you're not driving yourself up the wall torturing yourself thinking it is.

If you're happy in your relationship, it sounds like you two have a good and solid understanding. So I wouldn't worry if I were you. That said, I'm not the type to do well with jealous people. It's a bit rich coming from me, since I was the insecure one previously, but I've since dealt with what made me insecure and jealous. And I have to say, I think life is so much better not being jealous, or being with a jealous partner. But again, that's just me.

It sounds like you and your girlfriend have this well in hand. If it would help address your guilt, tell your girlfriend about this and about how it made you feel. Talking it out with her will help you feel better, I think.
Asker

1 y
Appreciate it. Thank you

Answer 2

Asker

I forgot to state our “cheating rules”. For us its no flirting, or sexual contact with anyone else unless we both know about it. So no she doesn’t allow me to touch anyone else sexually unless she knows about it

Answer 3

Smoke-n-Growls

I'd ask her for clarification then - sitting side-by-side with a woman and brushing your leg against hers (especially by accident) is not what I would consider "sexual contact".

And if she freaks out that you're even asking, you're in the wrong relationship. A woman with a healthy perception towards this would be glad you're asking for clarification - a woman with control issues and lots of insecurities will be angry you've even asked.

Are you allowed to have other female friends?

Answer 4

Asker

I feel like touching another female sexually without my girlfriends consent is bad. And it feels cuz i crave another woman’s touch which I know i normal. I already talked to her about that. Were both in our primes so she knows i have sexual cravings for other woman including her.

Answer 5

Asker

Feels good*

Answer 6

Asker

I can have female friends but i can tell my girlfriend would be the jealous type. For example if I went out to dinner with a female friend. She would most likely trip. Im guessing she would because i never been out to dinner with any other female in our relationship.

Answer 7

Smoke-n-Growls

You're right that touching another woman sexually without your girlfriend's consent is bad and cheating. But you accidentally brushing up against your coworker's leg is not cheating. Heck, even just sitting next to her consciously isn't cheating. Make sure you're not driving yourself up the wall torturing yourself thinking it is.

If you're happy in your relationship, it sounds like you two have a good and solid understanding. So I wouldn't worry if I were you. That said, I'm not the type to do well with jealous people. It's a bit rich coming from me, since I was the insecure one previously, but I've since dealt with what made me insecure and jealous. And I have to say, I think life is so much better not being jealous, or being with a jealous partner. But again, that's just me.

It sounds like you and your girlfriend have this well in hand. If it would help address your guilt, tell your girlfriend about this and about how it made you feel. Talking it out with her will help you feel better, I think.

Answer 8

Asker

Appreciate it. Thank you

Answer 9

Anonymous

Make a choice. Either put a stop to it or figure out if maybe it is a sign that your relationship with your girlfriend has run it's course. If you want to be faithful to your girlfriend and you have mixed feelings or guilt find a good therapist and talk it out. And maybe you aren't a monogamous person or not ready for monogamy at your age.

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Asker

1 y
Monogamy? What u mean put a stop to it?

Answer 10

Asker

Monogamy? What u mean put a stop to it?

Answer 11

Don-_-Don

Explorer

The fact that you delibratly got yourself closer to the woman because it felt good the accidental first time is enough for me to consider it cheating.

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1 Person

Asker

1 y
I dont even think the woman was turned on or anything i think it was just me. I honestly dont even know if i am remembering this correctly. I am deep thinker and sometimes i think so hard I remember things incorrectly. I feel mind fucked. I don’t remember feeling guilty or anything like that. Thats y i can't tell if i micro cheated or what.
Don-_-Don

1 y
Just make sure to not allow yourself to do it again and you'll be fine, no need to overthink about something so small I assure you.
Asker

1 y
I know i won't. Is it something i should bring up to her?
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Don-_-Don

1 y
Ehh... I wouldn't say that it's worth bringing up to her unless you feel THAT guilty about it.
Asker

1 y
I love her very much and at the time i didn’t even think this was cheating. As time went by and i became more wise i could kinda see how this could be wrong. I didn’t even consider this as cheating before. My overthinking causes depression so i want to nip this i soon as possible.
Don-_-Don

1 y
I understand, it may be better to tell her for the sake of yout mental health. I know how it is to overthink about things, telling her what happen and just have her tell you that it's okay can be a great relief off your shoulders. I'm sure she could understand what happened, it's not like what you did was all that bad.
Asker

1 y
Ok thanks bro. Stay safe
Don-_-Don

1 y
Thanks bro, you too.

Answer 12

Asker

I dont even think the woman was turned on or anything i think it was just me. I honestly dont even know if i am remembering this correctly. I am deep thinker and sometimes i think so hard I remember things incorrectly. I feel mind fucked. I don’t remember feeling guilty or anything like that. Thats y i can't tell if i micro cheated or what.

Answer 13

Don-_-Don

Just make sure to not allow yourself to do it again and you'll be fine, no need to overthink about something so small I assure you.

Answer 14

Asker

I know i won't. Is it something i should bring up to her?

Answer 15

Don-_-Don

Ehh... I wouldn't say that it's worth bringing up to her unless you feel THAT guilty about it.

Answer 16

Asker

I love her very much and at the time i didn’t even think this was cheating. As time went by and i became more wise i could kinda see how this could be wrong. I didn’t even consider this as cheating before. My overthinking causes depression so i want to nip this i soon as possible.

Answer 17

Don-_-Don

I understand, it may be better to tell her for the sake of yout mental health. I know how it is to overthink about things, telling her what happen and just have her tell you that it's okay can be a great relief off your shoulders. I'm sure she could understand what happened, it's not like what you did was all that bad.

Answer 18

Asker

Ok thanks bro. Stay safe

Answer 19

Don-_-Don

Thanks bro, you too.

Answer 20

Iron_Man | 14.9K opinions shared on Dating topic.

Master

Let’s just say if your girlfriend found out you would be sleeping on the couch For example

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1 Person

Answer 21

AmandaYVR | 1.4K opinions shared on Dating topic.

Influencer

Please tell me this is a serious question and not a troll one.
The answer is no no no no no. This is not cheating. This is very, very minor. Stop stressing. Put it out of your mind and move on with your life.

React

1 Person

Asker

1 y
I respect your opinion but explain how it is not cheating. Cuz i dont feel it is 100%. Im on the fence.
AmandaYVR

1 y
The term 'cheating' does have somewhat loose interpretations, I'll give you that.
But if you're going to call this cheating, then what? Just think of how ridiculous a world it would be if having intercourse with someone was treated in the same camp (or even ballpark) as the touching of a leg.
This is madness.
Pull yourself together, man.
Are you Muslim? They have what many other parts of the world consider to be very extreme views on relationships, physical contact, etc. We don't own each other. Slavery was bad. Ownership is bad.
I think it's really unwise of you to lump these things together. Human being are complex creatures. They need love, companionship, friendship, work associates, physical contact at times. This does not mean that every touch with someone other than a partner is sexual. Even if it felt good.
Do not tell your partner about this. You'd be making a mountain out of a molehill. There is zero reason to do so. I'm not saying that to have you avoid a fight. I'm saying it to help assuage your guilt and because you have nothing to feel guilty for. You are fine. Go for a walk, have a drink, pet a pet. And stop this worry and nonsense immediately.
Asker

1 y
Thank you I really appreciate your advice. Its just the part where (if im remembering correctly) i moved my leg back that’s triggering me.
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Asker

1 y
by the way not muslim. Just a guy that obsessively overthinks
AmandaYVR

1 y
You're welcome 👌

Answer 22

Asker

I respect your opinion but explain how it is not cheating. Cuz i dont feel it is 100%. Im on the fence.

Answer 23

AmandaYVR

The term 'cheating' does have somewhat loose interpretations, I'll give you that.
But if you're going to call this cheating, then what? Just think of how ridiculous a world it would be if having intercourse with someone was treated in the same camp (or even ballpark) as the touching of a leg.
This is madness.
Pull yourself together, man.
Are you Muslim? They have what many other parts of the world consider to be very extreme views on relationships, physical contact, etc. We don't own each other. Slavery was bad. Ownership is bad.
I think it's really unwise of you to lump these things together. Human being are complex creatures. They need love, companionship, friendship, work associates, physical contact at times. This does not mean that every touch with someone other than a partner is sexual. Even if it felt good.
Do not tell your partner about this. You'd be making a mountain out of a molehill. There is zero reason to do so. I'm not saying that to have you avoid a fight. I'm saying it to help assuage your guilt and because you have nothing to feel guilty for. You are fine. Go for a walk, have a drink, pet a pet. And stop this worry and nonsense immediately.

Answer 24

Asker

Thank you I really appreciate your advice. Its just the part where (if im remembering correctly) i moved my leg back that’s triggering me.

Answer 25

Asker

by the way not muslim. Just a guy that obsessively overthinks

Answer 26

AmandaYVR

You're welcome 👌

Answer 27

Avicenna | 11.5K opinions shared on Dating topic.

Master

Its not cheating, just inadvertent contact

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Asker

1 y
Explain please
Asker

1 y
You dont think moving my leg towards hers isn’t an act of cheating.
Asker

1 y
Is* my b
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Avicenna

1 y
No, it's mot cheating per se. You shpuldnt deliberately do it.

Answer 28

Asker

Explain please

Answer 29

Asker

You dont think moving my leg towards hers isn’t an act of cheating.

Answer 30

Asker

Is* my b

Answer 31

Avicenna

No, it's mot cheating per se. You shpuldnt deliberately do it.

Answer 32

Littlemisslovrly

Xper 1

Don’t cheat.

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Asker

1 y
wasn't planning on it. Lol

Answer 33

Asker

wasn't planning on it. Lol

Moving leg towards girl cheating?

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