Trying to get a girlfriend, but can't figure out how to?

Okay so for some reason I tend to get some dates, but I just don't know how to take it to the next level. It is like the girl stops showing the interest she shows in the beginning so I tend to assume that she is not interested anymore. A lot of times I listen to other people, but it tends to go with what I am feeling. For example this recent girl that I have gone out with two times for some reason she was telling me that she is keeping her options open when I never even brought up her and me dating. She is telling me that I am different from her ex and things like that and we go on dates. The thing is when we dated she said she enjoyed herself. Whenever she talks about relationship she never really indicates if she would like a relationship with me. So I just don't know how to push this in the direction I want it to go? Before she used to initiate a text (not much but probably, actually she only did it about once or twice.). My thing is actually how to move from dating to actually boyfriend/girlfriend I don't know if it is too early and I should just keep trying or to just cut my losses. I never know whether or not a girl is really into me.

For example: We have a class together and before her and I started to talk more I wouldn't pay much attention to her. After a while we would talk after class almost every night. Then one night we didn't talk after class and I said later and she never said anything to me. So I contacted her and asked if she was alright. She said she wasn't feeling good, so I am like okay catch you later. Come to find out from her a little later she was hanging with other friends of ours. So in my head that is like I wonder if she still likes me and if I should even bother go after her. One of things that I tend to do, if I start talking to a girl I might joke around with other girls and talk. Yet if she is there and wants to talk to me I will give most likely talk to her over anyone else. Also she is the only one that I date right now, I don't go on dates with other girls. I don't know what I am doing wrong, I don't know if it is me coming off as desperate or to nice. Because I don't call her twenty times a day. Probably at most once or twice a week.


Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 1

  • Maybe you should call her more often. Ask her if she wants to be official.. Do the cliche thing? lol. Or be with her and introduce her as your girlfriend and ask her what she thinks about that or see if she objects to it.


What Guys Said 1

  • Don't get lost in those signals man. You're doing yourself no good by sitting at home/work/school etc thinking about this girl and if you can have her or not. It looks to me like she doesn't know what she wants. Most girls don't..especially when they're young. You're completely throwing yourself at her...don't do that. That's only causing your pile of bad luck to grow. Give her space, and time to think.

    Girls get annoyed and further more turned off when you keep chasing them. She's obviously backing off and you keep chasing her. You're doing a good job at contacting her one or twice a week but since she's not really reciprocating why don't you stop all contact with her for a bit? If you truly want to find out if this girl likes you, do that. If she at all had any feelings for you she would call and wonder why you aren't responding. Do yourself some good and respect yourself...don't let a girl ruin your whole week. While she's busy trying to figure out if she likes you or not, you should be dating other girls. Engage in the world and do things you like to do, respect yourself and get out of the picture for a bit.

    Honestly if you ask me, she isn't worth your time. I mean she lied to you about "feeling sick". Man, if this girl likes you great...but if not you shouldn't be devastated. Don't let one girl throw your confidence to waste. If she isn't willing to give you the time of day, why would you give it back to her?

    Respect yourself and get out of the picture, find a girl who would love to be around you. Enjoy life in any situation but don't let your happiness depend on another person.

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