I wish more gals had your attitude towards this.
Thank you for your answer, that does help
@Littleshep03 You're welcome! I am glad I could help and offer some insight :)
@AlwaysBelieving Haha, we exist! I think the problem is finding us
For sure. I don’t get (understand) flirting so this would be a major help @Cynicaldreamer
@AlwaysBelieving Oh don't get me started on flirting. I am terrible at it too. I much rather a guy just come out and tell me he's interested in me and wants to get to know me rather than me trying to decipher if he's flirting or just being friendly/nice. Honestly dating would be SO much easier if people stopped playing games, but that's a rant I will not go into here; I don't want to take away from the asker's question.
For sure. Yeah, we don’t need to hijack the OP
It's not hijacking, it would be quite interesting tbf
@Littleshep03 Thank you Shep! :) I'm just trying to be courteous; I have a tendency to rant, or go on long comments sometimes if I'm passionate about a certain topic or discussion. @AlwaysBelieving As I was saying below, and I will try to keep it in relevancy with Shep's question, dating would be easier for EVERYONE if people would stop playing games and just say how you feel! No flirting (unless it is blatantly obvious you like said person), no mindgames...Just walk up to a person, or call them like we used to. Strike up a conversation and see if there is an interest there. If it is, ask said person out! If not, move on. And to the matter of women asking men out? I really think the issue lies with girls being taught that, "If a guy is interested in you, he will be the one to ask you out; not the other way around." I am conflicted on that because yes, I have noticed that when I've asked out guys, it always results in rejection because guess what? He wasn't attracted to me in that way. Yet if I don't ask him out, he might like me yet he's shy or unsure of my feelings toward him and he needs a sign that I'm interested. Before I was so..."assertive" in asking out guys, I used to wait for a guy to ask me out... ask me how many guys asked me out in my teens and 20s? I can count on ONE hand how many did :|So as I got older, I realized I rather ask out guys myself and risk getting rejected, than wait around knowing he might like me but is afraid to approach me. Yes, I'm still afraid to do so sometimes; I'm not even going to lie. Heck, I asked out a guy last year I liked and I thought he liked me as well: got friendzoned. But at least I knew where I stood with him. And that's how it should be; rejection, though it sucks, isn't the end of the world. It just means s/he wasn't the right person for you.
I agree with you @Cynicaldreamer. I've ALWAYS taken the stance of "she was just being friendly." On the instance of you saying "just walk up to the person and strike up a conversation", I'll give you an example (I have a memory that astounds me sometimes). I was reading some magazines a few years ago at a Barnes and Noble and there was a gal that would walk by me every few minutes. The first couple of times, I didn't think anything of it. Then I think after the 4th or 5th time "I think she's interested in me." I didn't do anything (my self esteem wasn't where it is now).Yes, I do think you're right. Girls are sold from an early age that if a guy is interested in you, he'll ask you out. That's not the case with some men.I also think it's partially because people don't like to be vulnerable. I know I don't. Another part could be one might care too much of what their friends will say about who you choose to to date.Hopefully you'll come across a guy that DOES like you in that way.
@AlwaysBelieving "I also think it's partially because people don't like to be vulnerable." That is the main problem right there!!! If you read 90 percent of the questions on here about guys or girls asking out the other, the main fear is what: will s/he feel reciprocate their feelings? I mean asking another person out is a huge risk for some of us: they might be taken already, not interested, or not find you attractive. I don't care how good someone's self esteem is, getting rejected is a blow to anyone's esteem! And men on here complain about that; I do read their comments and I empathize with y'all. Probably more so because as someone that's opened up to guys in the past about my feelings and gotten rejected, I REALLY know how it feels. As for that girl in the bookstore, you should have at least said hi to her... something tells me she was eyeing you and hoping you would say something to her. She sounds like most women alright, "Let me just walk past him a few times and scope him out, see if he speaks to me..." LOL. Ideally, she should have asked what you were reading, was it any good, or asked if you could recommend any good books for her. If you seemed engaged, then maybe asked you if you wanted to get some coffee or a smoothie, and discuss more books with you- at least that's what I would do /shrug
Yup. I’m working on it. Too bad it took a double bypass to realize that rejection isn't gonna kill me. I’ll be back later tonight since I have to take care of some things now.
This!!! Exactly what I was saying: when girls do ask out guys, the feeling isn't mutual. Yet they want us to ask them out. I think what some guys mean is, "They want girls them consider attractive to them to ask them out..."
*they consider, not them... stupid phone
@Cynicaldreamer Yeah, that's probably what they mean. Girls want that too though, lol
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Why is he supposed to though
manly men. if a guy is too shy i don't want him. if he just doesn't know i like him then i have no problem asking him or just letting him know i like him so he'll ask me