Uhhh really? Not talking through it, reassuring him, giving him time? Just skip straight to dump his ass?
Life is short. Yes, straight to the curb. Who the hell needs a significant other who looks at you disfavorably? Do you? I certainly do not and I imagine neither does she. So again, yes, straight to the curb. Life is too damn short...
Yea I definitely disagree. I feel like if you really like someone, it'd be worth trying those things above. And if he still gets hung up on it, then to the curb. But to give up on someone right away seems pretty shallow in my opinion
Shallow... they are judging her and and her curbing them makes her shallow. So, bend over extra backwards is your righteous sense, eh? Allow me to use your words, “Yea I definitely disagree.”If he is judging in one place, he’ll be judging in another place. This will leave her having to constantly bend over extra backwards for that guy... that will burn her out. I realize your sense of righteousness here because I am guessing you feel her sexual past must be somehow qualified or equalized to his insecure brain. No. I absolutely disagree with having to constantly justify my life, my actions to someone ‘claiming’ to be in love with me. Either they are, or they are not. Conditional justification of love is not love contrary to what you may believe. That is hell and neither her, me, or any other should have to justify their past to ANYONE. You can either love her or do her the favor and just leave if you cannot handle it. Because there is one thing I know, the first heated argument that comes up would have that same individual bringing up the other’s past as a personal assault. With me, that will guaranty your ass not just to the curb, but in the can as well. You either are going to love them for who they are regardless, or you are going to make her miserable by constantly having to prove herself - Don’t be that guy.
You are so jaded man. I don't think this guy is necessary judging her, just has to process that he's not the first. And it is totally possible that it is a judgment thing, but not always. Maybe he's just hurt and needs time. And using it in an argument would 100% be an asshole move. Like I said, if he can't move on and he's gunna hold it over her head, then it's a problem. If he just needs some time to process it, why is that a big deal?
Better question, why do you assume me as, “jaded”?
It just sounds like an attitude of someone who has had people hold grudges against and not been forgiven for things. I don't know maybe I read into too much lol.
Grudges? That would have never crosses my mind. Which leads to think that grudges have been held against you since this was your instinct to lean towards and likely by the jaded. Which would also have me thinking other things why that is but that is neither here nor there. No. Try, ‘knowing’ how human plays out. Humans are habitual and predictable creatures. How they are in one place they more often than not behave the same in other places too. That is all there is too it. Judgement in one place will lend itself to judgement in other places. One moment is her very little sexual exposure - and three is very little. The next will one day be comments of her clothes, her hair, her makeup, her weight, how she talks, of her friends, of her family, how she keeps house, her cooking, her parenting skills their sex life... et cetera et cetera ad nauseam. It will not end. Does this sound like a life you would wish to lead with a so called, “loved one”? Constantly having to justify and validate why she does something or does not do something? No... His behavior is a redflag of his insecurity and and the early hint of being controlling and manipulative. You may not see it. I do and I have seen it occur again and again like text book and nearly always ignored are the early signs. If they get married, I give it 3 to 7 years before she files for divorce. Based wholly on this one action of his. It’s that predictive...
That's beyond bold dude. Guy might've just been hoping he was her first, felt a little disappointed, and needs some time to move on. Or maybe you're right, but I don't think one necessarily means the other. That's my point.And to clarify. I just meant it seemed like you had been in this position where people judged you for something and all the stuff you mentioned happened to you. Clearly I was wrong so I apologize for reading that wrong. And no I don't have experience with people holding grudges... Well I do I guess but not like this lol
What difference does it make? What difference does it make whether the first or 21st? You either love them completely or you don’t. This whole things about being first, virgins, it’s ego and a misguided notion that women will stray if they have had more than one sex partner. Nothing could be further from the truth. There has been a LOT of research in this area, and do you know what really is the make or break of whether a couple has a chance of sticking it out? I do... that they both with ten points of intelligence from one another. Not how many each has slept with (or not slept with), not income, not age or age difference, not who does the dishes or takes out the trash... the indicator of whether a high a relationship will likely last all boiled down to whether they were very close to one another in intelligence. All the rest pure Hollywood and Abrahamic rhetoric to shame women into “purity” for men of small ego and small something else... because men cannot fathom the thought of their dicks being smaller than the last guy (s). In reality, a large number of women as well as men, would rather forget their “first”. It only seems to be a big deal out of some bizarre virgin conquest ego or worry that their pee-pees don’t measure up... Which says a lot about that guy’s character. He’s not in ‘it’ because he ‘loves’ her. He’s in it to be the first or to make her a possession. Hence the not being first ego breaker. I don’t care what some religious figure, or man or woman MRA says, or what MGTOW likes to spread about women’s promiscuity or lack their of... You either love her ‘entirely’ or you don’t. Love isn’t half asses, conditional, or even 99.99%. It is something you do completely or not at all as even that 0.01% is enough to erode into disillusion. He’s already eroding...Go find someone who is close to your intellect and who you can mutually relate to.
Yea dude, I think we're just gunna agree to disagree on this. I don't view it as an ego thing but an intimacy thing. Personally I want to be my wife's first and only. If I find out she's not, I won't lie it'll hurt a little, but after some time I'll definitely get over it. Loving someone completely is accepting them for all they are or have been. I understand it's not likely I find someone who is a virgin and like I said, it's not a deal-breaker. He's not already eroding, my goodness dude.
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No of course not. I just gave oral to 3 guys but i regret it and i only love him now.