Is my friend mad that I can't just 'hang out?'

Have a guy friend whom I went on a few dates with about 5 years ago. I didn't see him as anything more than a friend back then and we just kinda drifted apart after that. Recently got back in touch and went out a couple of times. We've never kissed or anything. However, I now see him in a different way and am interested in dating him. It actually came out during a conversation that I felt this way. He was pretty shocked. He just assumed I still only saw him as a friend.

He just got out of a long term relationship (they lived together and were engaged; he ended it), then he got dumped in a rebound relationship—both pretty recently. Because of this, he said he's not interested in anything serious right now, but we can 'hang out.' I know from experience what this means "date, but not call it dating so I have no ties/obligations to you and I keep my options open." Plus, he seems like a bit of a player--has several girls that he sees. Not my cup of tea. I'm almost 40, ready for a relationship and refuse to just 'hang out.' Hanging out fine/fun in the short term, but after a while, it just gets frustrating.

I told him in a nice way that I can't just 'hang out,' and while he said 'it's cool,' I think he's a bit miffed. I still consider him a friend and don’t want to ruin that.

Guys, would this bruise your ego—would you take it personally? Or would you just say 'whatever! next?'

Forgot to mention, he liked me back when we went out several years ago.


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What Guys Said 1

  • Well he might be a little annoyed but it's not really fair of him to be mad at you for it. If I were him, I would understand that we are just looking for different things.

    • Oh, I agree that it's not fair. What really solidifies that he's annoyed is that he keeps posting about going out with other girls every day on FB. I think he's doing it to p*ss me off because the way he found out I like him is that I told him I was jealous of him going out with some other chick later the same day we last hung out. He knows I read his posts...well, past tense now. I removed him from my news feed the other day. What an immature douche.

    • I would just remove him from Facebook completely and stop talking to him so he knows you are moving on.

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