Why do women tell men to stop being bitter about rejection when they don't approach nearly as much as men do?

[Espresso-Grande]

The ones you're talking about obviously haven't been rejected or can handle it. They have little or no insight into the affects rejection can have on some people. Especially if they face constant rejection . If something affects you emotionally, mentally or physically you have a right to vent how you feel. If someone doesn't want to listen, they don't have to, but that doesn't mean you have to "shut up and put up"It's easy to say accept and move on, but not everyone is capable of doing that. Ask the person how to, if they say that to you

[likelyOK]

I’m going to be approaching nearly all the men since I plan on getting off the apps and the only way to tell if a good looking guy is single is to ask

[ManOnFire]

I think women need to stop with all that bitterness stuff about guys anyway, because they're the ones who end up more bitter than anybody when some guy was an asshole in a relationship, or they keep picking guys who turn out to be assholes, and then they get bitter and angry with men in general and want to start dating other women cuz they think that'll be better. Such a joke.

[jennifer_bloom]

Woman are not designed to suffer rejection - they are designed to suffer child birth and service to the household as a kitchen worker after marriage but that does not mean they suffer less than men - just that they suffer in a different way from men

[Account]

Noone should feel entitled to another person's time and attention.
The end.

[startingfitness]

Its because women cannot empathize with men. Its very difficult for women to relate to men's struggles. Some women are blissfully unaware that we even have struggles. And most don't care either way...
I mean you probably read the female comments and you can tell how they are.

Women fear rejection even more than men and most of the times react a lot worse, but because women are the gatekeepers to sex ( unless a man r*pes them) they can afford to wait for men to approach them. You can see it in clubs, bars, social media, dating sites/apps etc. 99% of the time its men approaching women. So women just expect men to approach them, instead of doing the approaching, and choose the one they like most. Sometimes they may not even choose anyone. So , women do have a lot more power than men in the dating world, on average ( this can change when you become a high value man or if you are extremely good looking).

In any case, due to these reasons, being forever alone as a woman ( if she is still young) doesn't seem like a very plausible reality to most women, so they cannot relate to men who are going through that fear.
This is true for other problems that we face too. For example the "fear" of your child not being yours is a fear that exclusive to men. They know that the child that comes out of them is theirs. If you want to see some real cold examples of apathy and selfishness you should see some women's comments on men who want to take a dna test to see if their child is theirs. They straight up invalidate one of the biggest fear a man could have and then associate that to treason. according to them a man should just believe the woman and just completely forget one of the most instinctual, primal fears.

Women are NOT more empathetic than men, they are much less empathetic. In fact they are straight up incapable of empathy towards something that they cannot relate to.
So when you think about a personal problem and opening up about it to women, ask yourself if this is something that she can relate to, if that's something that could happen to her too. If not, don't expect any sympathy. And don't expect proper advice either.

This is why men traditionally do not open up too much towards women and act stoic. Its in everyone's best interest.

[VanillaSalt]

Ok so I gotta say. Dating is unfair for both sides that being said ima break this down hard.

Women believe their a 8 when their a 5... they believe they deserve the best man out there without putting effort in themselves. You gotta maintain them looks not “I’m curvy and if you don’t like it swipe right”... curvy is 10 lbs overweight not being a 260 lb heffer... also if you have to say “I’m a bitch and I’m not gonna change for anyone” or “if you can’t handle me at my worst you don’t deserve me at my best”. Then your just a bitch and don’t care what people think about your personality...

You want the man that opens the door and pays for the date. But if I say this you’ll say you don’t care and don’t mind paying half or the full date. Then when I take you up that’s you thinking less of me for it. I’ve held the door and been told not to treat her like she’s helpless... I’ve also been yelled at for opening it for another woman once lmao.

Let’s talk comparisons. 80% of women get the kids in divorce. They also take half of everything. Woman gets knocked up. Well do your duty and pay child support. The lawyers are taught to take as much as possible. Maybe your lucky and she decides to abort. You have NO say on your kid cause it’s her body. Strange woman accuses you or touching her on the bus... police come. Your on the local news. Your job calls and fires you. Your family and friends abandon you. Months and thousands in legal fees later and your found innocent. Your still jobs less and unable to be hired, still alone, still hated. She will receive no punishment for filing a fake report. Woman punches a man in the face he’s expected to take it but oh god help him if he fights back. Woman can’t pay bills there’s literally hundreds of assistance companies out there. Man can’t pay bills he’s being a deadbeat and there’s no help to be found. Yes sexual assault is a real thing against men and women. Most men love it cause it’s just sex but the times it happens no mans gonna come forward and be laughed at. Women it’s okay to be strong or weak. men don’t be a pussy. Women compliments for posting a dolled up picture online. Men *crickets*. Men working 80 hours a week to support the family. Women complaining about doing housework. Woman have march for breast cancer... where’s men’s march for prostate cancer?

I could keep going. But as you can see everyone and everything is out to break men. Here’s an idea... Lower your expectations. Date more men under what you expect and have sex with less men... find the diamond in the rough. Find the man who will work hard for you and treat you right and love you... even if he’s not 6’ tall with a 6pack running 6 figures a year... Jesus Christ give more men a chance... it’s not even about getting sex. It’s getting the chance to show what these men have to offer.

[Nawlins34]

Because crying about isn't attractive to women. You're validating why she should've rejected you instead of leaving her questioning did she let a good one walk away.

When a guy whines about being rejected, he shows his hand. He confirms that he doesn't have much value. Guys with high value and know they can get any woman they want? don't behave like this.

If you get rejected by a woman or she shows disinterest, drop pursuit immediately and be thankful!. Because you can get another one. You're focused on the rejection and not the opportunity cost she just saved you from spending.

When I was single, I had plenty of women rejected me initially, come running back.

A woman that rejects you, hasn't seen your value yet. You're not going to be able to "tell" her verbally, if she's still watching, you'll have to show her through your actions.

Don't spend time on a rejection.

If it were a job interview and they notified a guy that they are moving in a different direction, being bitter won't change their mind, he'd move on.

To some degree, same concept with women.

I hoped I helped. Good luck and be safe.

[HollyK21]

I hope you are open minded when it comes to seeing a woman’s perspective on this topic, because it isn’t quite as black and white as a us telling a man to stop being bitter about rejection, like it’s a light you can switch on and off.
Unless you are completely biased, you can agree that women are nurturers by nature.
We are more likely to try and console and/or offer advice to a dude, especially someone we care for, than watch them struggle or go through a hard time emotionally. If a guy wants advice on how he approaches women, or wants to gain some perspective as to why he is being rejected, 9/10 we are there to help. But that is far different than a guy who wants nothing else but to complain about being rejected. Because what does that solve? It is not progressive and does nothing to help you have a better outcome the next time you approach someone. Even dudes get sick of hearing their male friends drone on and on with no true desire to correct themselves or receive advice.
So in the end, sometimes your female friends are extremely patient, and have no problem hearing about your bitterness In the dating world. But sometimes you have to want to help yourself, and we respond much better to someone with the desire to do better.

[lumos]

Being told to "man up" and "stop complaining" is obviously not helpful. But neither is being bitter. Yes, rejection sucks. Yes, it can eat away at your confidence. Yes, it can make you sad and angry. But does that mean that it should? Does it mean you have no control whatsoever of your state of mind and how you handle getting rejected? No.

I'm not sure how not approaching men as much cancels out telling them to not be bitter. In the end, it's sound advice. Being bitter won't help the situation and will only make you feel worse, if you succumb to it. Either you can take everything super personally all the time, let it get under your skin, and feel miserable because of it. Or, you can realize that you simply weren't a match with the person you approached, it's nothing inherently personal, and move on. If it feels like the amount of rejection you're getting is overwhelming, take a step back and focus on getting back on your feet and getting back to a healthy state of mind.

I know it's easier said than done, that's for damn sure. But acting like there's nothing to be done about feeling bitter, is just about as foolish as acting as though it can magically disappear with the snap of a finger. It takes time, self-reflection and self-awareness. It's tough. But not impossible. Although women who tell you to "just get over it" might not personally understand what you're going through, it doesn't mean that they're wrong. They might express it in a shitty way that makes them come off as totally clueless, but at the end of the day they're right. Either you work on handling rejection better or not letting it get under your skin so easily, or you let it make you miserable. The latter is not healthy.

[jadspop]

Cuz the dating standard between genders of heavily skewed in wemons favor based on social standard and a sexist history.

It's not universal... Some wemon have it better then others obveously... but the general idea is that if there telling you not to be bitter about it... b it's probably a woman that hasn't expectanced rejection to much... And I bet the few times she has there was probably another person ready to pick her up...

And the train some wemon are like this is cuz they can afford to be... They haven't been in a situation to have to chance after so many just to have a chance at one...

And like I said.. it's not every woman... I think most wemon deal with rejection and issues like that... But I also feel like way more men deal with it in a larger way then went do in general.

And for the most part I blame socal standards... It's just the way it's been for so long that every one thinks that's how it should be... The system works "will enough" so y change it...

And as much as the people on the bottom of this situation want change... It requires the people at the top too actively bring them self down to level the playing field... And I don't see the more attractive people (men and wemon) changing how they do things... Cuz let's face it... No one wants to put themselves in a position to be swamped by others...

It's just a natural reaction to those who have something others have... If you really wanted you could wrap it all up as human nature to favor those we deem attractive

But this is honestly just my opinion based on what I've seen. I haven't done any studies or in depth research into it

[Levin]

I agree with you but the fact is, getting bitter and frustrated isn't serving you.

The other fact is, just because there is some sweet 'pussy' out there, or it would benefit your ego to have some attention from women, it doesn't mean you should have anything to do with them. Just as if you were in the reverse position, in the position of power as women, and you had myriad men approaching you. You would be very selective, also.

I would say a change of approach is necessary. It may sound trite but empower yourself to such a degree, become happy, that not having a woman is not feeling like a gaping hole in your life. Have you considered that you want a woman for the wrong reason?

I swipe through Tinder, and think, I wouldn't have anything to do with 97% of these women. Just because a woman looks nice, there is usually not some kind of deeper interest. Be selective yourself. Even in real life I would get rejected frequently and it's hurtful when you really like the girl and the interest is in more than just sex. All you can do is respect and value yourself first and foremost. Being bitter or fighting things isn't going to make you happy at all.

Frankly, there's a lot of bitches out there. Just like there's a lot of twats on the male side. Don't become one of them. Try and be a decent person.

[errorgoodnameunfound]

It's kinda like telling somebody from Australia telling somebody from Alaska to stop being bitter about huge spiders or heat waves. Somebody from Australia has zero clue about the differences in Alaska vs somebody who's lived there. So, ofc the solution in that case would be for that Alaskan to keep their thoughts a bit hidden and perhaps not talk much to many Aussies at all who are likely to say that sorta thing.

Just like the solution is for men is actually to do as women somewhat want:
Stop the high demand for them.
Stop worshiping pussy.
Bring down their value.
Let the Christian Greys of the world abuse em, rape em, and psychologically manipulate them but offer no help, because it's what most seem to want.
Let em have what they want.
Let em be.
Pay little attention to them, and focus on improving yourself/you life, letting them miss out on your journey to success and rejecting them all back when you get there.

Just as they say themselves, "can't love us at our worst, leave us alone at our best."

Alright, now bring on the rage, downvotes, denial, etc.

Im ready when y'all are! :D

[SomeGuyCalledTom]

Tbh they are kinda right, even though the wording could be more empathetic. I think it's important to define "bitter", and to separate "bitterness" from merely feeling "deflated" or "hurt".

Rejection does hurt, in fact it stimulates same part of the brain as physical pain. But getting bitter about the rejection long after the "pain" has subsided is just a sordid path to go down. Being vengeful at the "unfairness of cruel existence" or the "entitlement of feminazi cunts rejecting men for sport" (not my words) is a sign of a man who's just given up on himself. That kind of bitterness shouldn't merit sympathy from others, we each have our load to bare in life. But when women say things like "being bitter about rejection is unattractive in a man", I think they're referring mostly to the men who become embittered to the point of becoming an actively hostile/ambivalent agent of harm to others. I also find there's an arrogance lurking behind the surface of such bitter men. Like that school shooter who called himself "the supreme gentlemen" in the same breathe as he condemned all women as being sluts and whores who deserve death for rejecting him. That's the logical conclusion of untethered bitterness run amok. It's like the male equivalent of the post-modern feminists who are just bitter towards men and wanna get rid of us or enslave us. Nothing good ever came from unchecked bitterness.

Now, I'm sure certain women probably contribute to some men's bitterness. I've seen women be unusually cruel in rejecting men, or leading them on only to publicly humiliate the poor guy. Those women should be taken to task for their cruelty, but they don't represent all women by a long shot.

[GlitterFairy16]

Because being bitter and constantly moaning doesn't achieve anything and others don't care to hear it there's nothing they can do to fix it for them. It just gets boring hearing men self pity themselves instead of thinking deeper into why they might be getting rejected.

What do they want us women to do date them out of pity and because a lot of men think they are untitled to a relationship with a women who isn't interested.

Women have to go through a lot of shit too but you don't hear us complaining about it to random men who can't magically change things for us.

"Boohoo i can't get a girlfriend " what the f do you want me to do about it? not my issue i have my own shit to deal with.

[AlienParasite]

Because is an unuseful feeling for yourself that only makes you be further from what was supposed to be your goal before the rejection: attract another person. It can lead to a vicious circle, in which rejection makes you bitter, and being bitter will increase your chances to be rejected again. In the end feeling bitter is a waste of time, and you own yourself a good investment of your time, rather than investing in time in angry feelings and thoughts about people who actually shouldn't matter.

The fact that woman are less approached, doesn't make bitterness suddenly healthy, and you are worth something better than beign bitter for things that are out of your control.

[DeltaCharlieEcho]

To be as clear as humanly possible, when compared to the general expectation of men women are either generally all some form of mentally ill or childishly immature. There have been a ton of research into the area and it turns out that women are pretty much vindictive sociopaths when it comes to relationships or attention. Women say this shit to make themselves feel better about being horrible human beings because they know that the next time they get rejected they're going to nuke every single guy that walks up to them until they feel better.

[Missycloak]

It's ok to be bitter, but it better if you do setting about it. For example, get fit and get a high paying career instead of chasing girls. I mean look at Trump and other rich people. They don't chase women, at least in the same way.

Also, realize that women don't chase because others (magazines owned by men, websites, other men) tell them men love chasing women. Women who make the first move are called desperate. If I had a dime for everytime someone told me never to make the first move... I'd buy Florida.

[Alaistair]

Imagine this, everyday you go from home to work or differently a place of leisure. While your moving around you get stopped in your tracks and your attention is diverted to a random person asking you out, now the person has put herself out there and gotten quite intimate with revealing her feelings towards you you say no and move on with your day as you had planned, the next 2 mins another one comes to you and expresses her feelings. You are now forced to delay your personal work /agenda because you don't want to be rude to this person or the next that follows. This happens to you alk year round. Eventually your going to get tired of the frequency that which this is happening to your not getting insensitive but you also don't have all the time in the world to reject someone and console them at the same time. At some point you will to start telling these women to get over the fact that they have been rejected and not make a big deal about it.

[Kiss_Me]

Learn to do it better and the rejection, including the feeling, will happen much less often. I recommend learning to walk away from woman. It give the silent message, "No, you are not the only desirable women in the room." Circle back to them a few minutes later to test the waters. If she seems like she is not receptive, leave once again and seek out others.

[Searlas]

From where they stand, they can't really understand why a man should be. Naturally, women attract, the attraction is towards them, its men giving them the attention and a lot of it and sometimes overwhelming, so they are at liberty to choose as they please. As a man, you have to learn to lower your expectations, the art of taking it easy and letting it go, you can't force someone to like or love you back. Each and every sperm can't start complaining it never got to the egg man.

[nathanp97]

I'd actually say that women take rejection worse overall than men do. Not that lots of men handle it well either. They don't do it as often and since society tends to view women as the prise and perfect they tend not to take it well when you say no. Not that some don't, but I'd say the better looking the women the worse they deal with rejection and probably the worse looking guys tend to not take it as well as good looking guys.

[Anonymous]

because women get rejected just as much as men do, just in a different way. She gets rejected by men not coming up to her or initiating anything with her. She also gets rejected by men who only use her for sex. It's also a form of rejection for women.

[Dinklex3]

Because there more to life than approaching or getting approached. Being bitter about that is so petty.

[TheFlak38]

Women say anything to shame men. This is just one example. They'll tell you to man up while they on the other hand are useless bitches, literal trash with nothing to offer besides their vagina. They will never tell a woman to woman up and improve herself in all areas of her life. Once they're done whoring themselves with the bouffet of cocks they had during their prime they will ask to settle down with you and expect you to be the clean up guy.

[Protein_mate]

In general on the whole... It's just how life is, women have more power within the dating realm, you've just got to suck it up and work with with it present yourself well and have confidence.

The answer to your question is simple: Complaining and being bitter is just un attractive and projects negativity. Move on, shrug it off and learn to take it.

It goes both ways at the end of the day, men don't like it when women constantly complain about rejection and women don't like it when men constantly complain.

[Smoke-n-Growls]

Because, man or woman, being bitter about rejection isn't good. It isn't attractive, it isn't becoming, it isn't healthy.

It doesn't matter the frequency. If anything, the frequency should blunt or desensitize.

Maybe you need to take a break from asking if you're tired of being rejected. Give yourself some time to work on yourself for your own sake.

[Anonymous]

Because most women will never know what this is like. They don’t put the mental effort into what it’s like to be in there position because it makes no difference to them either way.

The only exception are BBWs, lesbians and/or very unattractive women. These women are not getting approached by guy or are not looking for guys. They HAVE to make a move and have to deal rejection. They can relate to what’s is like for the average guy.

[extremelybored]

Because they have it easy and there's nothing else to it. But honestly the dating scene is a joke nowadays, if I didn't have a wife already I would just pump and dump occasionally and stay a bachelor.

[Anonymous]

i feel my mindset, perspective, towards dating, relationships, has changed over the years, but it bothers and annoys me a lot, when people call it a skillset or learnable skill.

The reason why it gets very annoying, is because people say that women need skills as well, my mindset, perspective on that is:

"What skills? the way it looks like, she just has to be attractive, thats not something that is social-behavior based or social-skills based, and requires no action on her part", looks like, everything simply "just happens" for women, i don't see how that requires any skill or strategy.

[authoroftheuniverse]

Because being rejected is a fact of life and you can't just force someone to like you, accept you or give you a chance. When you are angry or bitter about being rejected, what exactly is the anger or bitterness towards? The person for rejecting you because they dont like you? You not being their type? Why is anger and bitterness the primary emotion that comes out when you dont get what you want from women?

[Kountry_King]

Not even that women cannot handle rejection at all. When they really want someone they’ll call that man all sorts of names if the same energy isn’t reciprocated.

[Anonymous]

deflection of responsibility and because modern norms favor women in pretty much any social setting. Women got it good if they are half decent looking life is pretty much a gravy train. It's funny society is more dysfunctional today on the whole when compared to a time of arranged marriages. Gonna be lots of people dying old and alone for generations to come based on current trends. It is what it is, death will be a sweet release from my loneliness at least!

[Liam_Hayden]

Do single guys approach every single woman whom they see? If not, then haven't they passively rejected those whom they do not approach? Anyway, no one should be bitter about rejection. Why would anyone want to be with someone who isn't into it?

[Agape93]

Because being bitter about being told “no” is childish and entitled.

[Reaperbot666]

https://www.youtube.com/embed/Y4E8qEDi_xg

[jtmc731]

The same reason not a single woman has answered this question.

[caramelapplered30]

Well ain’t no man ever approached me yet 😂 . i must be invisible 😭😂😂

[FeenaK]

It's how one reacts to rejection that is worth noticing. Becoming vengeful, hateful after it is horrible. But I myself have had to face a painful rejection. Not once did I go around chatting nonsense about him or start being rude to him

[sensible27]

Fundamentally if you being bitter helps you I guess then you're valid... I guess...

[PaganWarrior]

If you're rejected just forget it and move on. Plenty of other women.

[Anonymous]

This reminds me, guys, men, get bashed or criticized for reacting negatively towards rejection a lot more than women do, if a man is constantly rejected, people and Society will always tell him comments such as as "women don't owe you anything, don't owe you shit, women aren't obligated to like you or be attracted to you".

But if a woman deals with a lot of rejection like that, she will get a lot more sympathy and emotional support.

[thegirlfromthething]

No one likes a complainer and not every woman gets approached.

[Juxtapose]

Just look at the pink comments here. Women have absolutely no empathy for men and are arrogant about it.

I would seriously consider giving shemales a go.

And before any stupid ass pink users comment on this, no, I don't have trouble getting laid or whatever stupid ass insult you're going to throw at me. I've even been offered money to fuck and I'm autistic.

The trouble is finding a woman that's worth more than my solitude. So far, you ladies aren't very impressive!

[Daniel3035]

They're like kids never done a mans job don't know how hard it is. Easy to talk when never having done it.

[MountAverage]

Wait, so because women overall tend to approach men far less than the other way around, you think that's an excuse to be bitter? Is that your reasoning?

[Anonymous]

Cause once you do man up and stop complaining you gain confidence and the girls want that!

[JosyJosy]

I'd tell people to stop being bitter, because being bitter doesn't help them progress.

[scetoaux]

Because we find bitter men that obsess over minor failure as unattractive

[Tonita91996]

The same reason why men tell us women to pick better men and we are the fault to why we can't get a good man.

[msc545]

Women very occasionally fell a little guilty about rejecting a guy, but they feel less guilty if he doesn't complain about it.

[oddwaffle]

Tell them to woman up and take it like a woman.

Equality and all that.

[mamamai]

Because, we can’t just say yes, when we aren’t interested. And men just have to except that

[Jack9949]

Why would you give a girl attitude just because you were rejected?

[Anonymous]

I don’t know but they go batshit when someone says she’s too fat to date or too old or has kids or other things. It seems like a one way street.

[Anonymous]

when We reject men it’s usually about our own personal feelings and life and it’s not about the man half the time. So it’s nothing to be bitter about

[SexyAshh]

Because men cry like little bitches after and want a pity party. Man up or shut up

[Aiko_E_Lara]

It is actually hypocritical because a reason why they don't really approach is because they don't like being rejected because they would get bitter too or even more.

[Tauriel01]

They are speaking from a place of ignorance. Your feelings about rejection don't have to be validated by them for it to be real.

[British_Empire_1707]

its good advice actually. Women get bitter and super pissed at rejection i find.

[FýrdracaDócincel]

Because rejection, contrary to popular stupidity, isn't the grave insult many claim that it is.

[Anonymous]

Because the last thing they want is for men to actually give up on approaching them. So obviously they need to nip that in the bud quick before men get it in their head to stop.