Tell my boyfriend I kissed someone else, or not?

I have a big problem. Me and my boyfriend got together, we are long-distance. I'd been (physically) with him for about a week or 2, then we were talking over the phone for a month or so. I didn't want a serious relationship, I'm 19, he's 26, so we are to an extent on different wavelengths. I told him I still wanted to have fun and see other people and I wasn't ready, mainly due to the fact we lived so far apart and I thought it was too early to commit to a relationship like our one. I left to go to dance school in New York for 3 months, I told him when I was there, I wanted to be free to do what I want, that I wasn't ready to commit, but he was pushing me to go exclusive ever since the beginning. Ironically just a few days before I left, I agreed to it, which I shouldn't have done because deep down I didn't really want to and I wasn't ready for it. Anyway, we kept talking on the phone everyday, but while I was there, there was a guy I met who I didn't particularly like at all. I really had no interest in him whatsoever... Anyway, we were in the same group of friends and whenever we went out together, he would try to flirt with me and try to kiss me and hold my hand. For weeks and weeks I kept backing off because I knew that I couldn't and I really didn't want to (!). But one night I got (exceptionally) drunk, I don't normally drink a lot at all but that night I did, anyway we were in a club and he started dancing with me which, considering we both go to dance school, I thought was OK, and eventually we ended up kissing. I was so upset afterward and angry with myself, for getting so drunk and for kissing him. I still feel absolutely terrible about it, I didn't even like him, I don't know what I was thinking and I did really care about my boyfriend so much. Anyway, I still feel so guilty about it everyday, and my boyfriend has even asked me if anything happened in new york and I always say no, he said did I even just kiss someone? I just say no... He says he won't be angry but I KNOW he will, and wouldn't anyone be? I know I would be furous... I really don't want to lose him because now we are much more serious then in new york, I wouldn't dream of cheating on him, I absolutely love him. But I hate lying to him and I feel so guilty, I'm so scared of losing him and I do't know what to do. Please don't write hate comments, because I'm fully aware that I was a total b*tch to do that to him. I told my mom and she said it didn't matter and it was just a stupid kiss with a guy I didn't even like, and that there was no point in telling him because it would just cause an argument ove something so stupid. But I don't think I'm overreacting, I know how upset I'd be if he's done that to me...


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  • you're NOT an abosultely bitch...I will say always go wiht the truth because if it wasn't nothing serious then it was just a meaningless kiss, you will be able to laugh mybe not at the very moemnt but in a few years time, while if you don't say it are feeling completely crap abou it, then you're tonturig yourself... if you think you can forgive yourself without him knowing then don't tell him, safe yourself an argument, but if you cannot live at peace with you then you should tell him because that can be a tiny thing but can grow to be a big issue, and make distance between you two... however if there is something I have learn is mothers are scarely ALWAYS right!

    • thank you for your answer! and for bothering to read all of it lol, I'm just glad to hear that someone doesn't think I'm a bitch, even if I still feel like one... I'm not sure whether I'll tell him or not, but if it's not such a big deal maybe I should just try to forget it happened... thanks for your opinion :)