I see him every day. How do I deal with this?

A few months ago, I dated "Chris" when my boyfriend and I broke up. We had sex, went out on dates, I spent the night at his house, he even cooked for me! I fell hard for him.

One day, I found out from a trusted friend that Chris told him that he didn't care about me and never had. After that, I shut myself off from him and pretty much avoided talking to him. He reacted in a very douche-bag manner, and I found out later that he spread to my friends EVERYTHING that he and I had done, with some lies thrown in to make me sound like a whore. So now my friends don't talk to me anymore, and I'm left hurt and completely confused.

Okay, the problem is that I see him every day. I go to a small college where everyone knows everyone pretty much, and sometimes I feel like I just can't deal anymore. Any advice?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Wow.. that really sucks to hear from you and read.

    I'm sorry. No guy should do that to a girl. No girl should do that a guy. I've had a girl do something like that to me before. It's not fun and I hated it.

    What you should do is, write a letter to your friends, writing is means much more than typing a letter, reason... just makes the person feel you actually put the time in. Write to your friends and just explain to them your side of the story in a letter. Tell them that they may not respect you anymore and that you understand cause a d*** head like Chris told lies to make it seem worse.

    Just write a letter out from your heart.

    On the fact of getting over this. I understand how you feel on the small college part. I went to a private boarding school, it was small nearly 190 people total. Everyone knew everybody and their business really. I know how it sucks to not be able to get away without people really knowing what's going on. I think what's best is you should just live your life the way you want to, don't let others get to you to control how you do things differently and effectively. Live like you did before you dated that ass hole of a guy. Go out and do the things you would normally. Go shopping, buy something you think you'd like to wear, be confident. I know this is a hard time for you probably.

    If I knew who you were and everything, I'm sure I would've treated you a one thousand percent better than that ass hole did. I don't treat girls or women like that. I'm a sensitive kinda type guy, thoughtful, and caring. This guy obviously has no heart for anyone but himself.

    Live life to your advantage, I know it sounds cliche and its something lots say but just live the live you want. Go work out till your so dead beat and tired, watch your favorite shows. Do what you want to do and dig down deep and take a step back to think about your position and what you can do to make yourself better. Don't sit back and think about what others think about, or how they would think about you if you went out or go somewhere. Screw them. You're human being like everyone else. You can live life anyway you want it to be.

    If you need any help or advice someone to talk to, I'll be around.

    Best of luck & really, if you need to just talk to someone I can talk. I know how it feels to be where you're at.


    • Wow...thank you so much, Ian. Seriously. Your advice means a lot to me. :)

    • You're welcome, I actually take the time to give advice unlike others.

      I hope I can help in anyway. If you need anything just friend me or message me anytime. I hope I can help with any future problems. I've been in your shoes and I know how tough it is, I'd be willing to help you out of those shoes as well. Best of luck and be confident, most of all. Be Happy. :)


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • My advice is to say "F*** it." Its these times where people's true nature shines through. If your friends were really your friends, they wouldn't believe some d***. Personally, and this is just me, if I was screwed over like that, I'd leave those people and do some contemplating. At this point, you just gotta think that you really are better than them. It might sound conceited but it helps emotionally and psychologically. Most importantly, give yourself some "you" time. Don't try to date for a couple of weeks, and just let it flow. Good luck! :)


What Girls Said 2

  • Realize most guys do this?

    Or talk to Chris & get his side of the story.

    Or ignore what people say & focus on you.

  • Why don't you confront him? If he's such a douche bag, at least one other person thinks so too. You can't hid who you are for very long.

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