I see what you mean but life is transactional. You show me a man or woman and i'll show you one that do, gave, or acted like something to attract the other. For what it's worth don't change your mindset. Yours projects a nicer works view.
Of course we do things to attract each other. The end goal is what happens afterwards. If the attraction phase becomes associated with grief then the problem lies elsewhere, not with the workings of life itself. The many healthy and loving relationships we both know exist are a testament to that.The ideal person should be one who can navigate the transactional nature of a relationship without bringing into question the validity of the coupling. Only if a true incompatibility arises should he look to break things off. The question is "what does incompatibility look like?"
Everyone does stuff to attract others. When you find someone that's not asking for anything but you, you wanna give them everything. That's my experience anyway and i hope it will be for you too.
@JaneDoe377 it sounds nice doesn't it. Very Nicolas Sparksesque. Lol.I'm not making fun of you i believe you. I just am unable to believe such a thing anymore. I'm done fighting this battle.
What is your perspective going forward? It sounds like you've been through some tough times. ☹️
Just to live life. Some women have accused me of being bitter and hating women. I'm not. I plan to live life and if meet a woman who's a good match, and SHE wants to pursue me, we'll see what happens.But i'm done pursuing women. At this point i'd rather just have a friend then another woman who's just going to play with my head and heart.
That's a good way to be. Living is the most important. You're not looking for pussy. The only thing I'm unsure of is whether you're open to making friends with women. If you're that way you will definitely find the right woman in the future.
No i think most guys and women just lower rheir standards till they find their league so to speak. The ones that don't bow out.
No ma'am. I fully expect some women to agree that dating is a losing proposition.
It Is and but it isn't always
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Yes which is why women reject guys based soley on looks. It's rarher ironic that you thought i was talking about me. I was actuallt talking about women. Nut i guess you could apply it to men. And i'm guessing because of your angry response you aren't attractive. Why blame men for that?
Men do it even more than women. Women consider the entire package while men only focus on looks.
You know how long women habe sold that lie? "Oh it's his personality i didn't like". Most women who say rhat neber even got to know him enough to know his personality. It's just their way of saying " he's ugly, ew no". Without feeling bad for being shallow.
Men are more visual than women. For men, a woman’s looks demonstrates her fertility and reproductive health. . For women, they judge more heavily on a mans character and if he can provide for her children. Biologically women need a good guy who is willing to stay by her side to raise her offspring. she also needs a man who can kill prey to feed her offspring. It’s not me that said this it is historical caveman era that showed this
@Arabella_Rose I agree of your first comment, but I don't on the other replies you have given him. It is true that many men nowadays focus more on looks, but so do the women the exact same way. Women want cool muscular guys and men want pretty slim girls.Thankfully, that is not the norm on either side, but that doesn't make it less true.@Asker What you invest in a relationship, if it goes well, will always bring good things to both of you. You only lose if either you or the other one is not committed to it.
@Hawner men are designed to be more visual so don’t try to impose falsities on others.
@Arabella_Rose first of all, I don't try to impose any falsity on anyone. Please, do not assume such things as I don't do that about you either.Secondly, I didn't say we men were not weird like that. I said both men and women are. You have also chosen men according to their physical attributes "to make stronger kids" throughout the history.Thankfully, that kind of "biological programming" we both have is not useful not important anymore and we have the will to choose personality over looks. The problem is to teach the children not to follow that basic programming. If we don't, then we keep having women that prefer muscle and men that prefer big boobs.
@Hawner both men and women are like that. But men are like this WAY more than women. There are biological reasons for it
That is not true. They are both like that equally, both with their own respective biological reasons for that.
@Hawner why don’t you study biology evolution from the prehistoric cavemen era? Men and women look for different things and are biologically very different
Because I already did. It was on basic history school in my time. I also studied ancient Greece, Egypt, and Italy (Roman history).That is how I know, as I said, that both men and women are like that equally, both with THEIR OWN respective biological reasons for being like that.
@Hawner I’m not asking you to take history course on Ancient Greece or Egypt. I’m asking you to study evolution especially reproductive evolution and mate selection.
As I said, I already did. Males select the females with wider hips to ensure a healthy offspring. Females course select the makes with strong physical attributes to ensure her protection, as well as their offspring's, against animals and enemies and also ensure their nutritional needs.You see? Both do the same thing for their own respective biological reasons.
You're 24. I'm lol older i'd be willing to bet I've put equal as much time in this subject as you if not more.
@Hawner women go for status aND money while men go for looks mainly.
@asker personally I have seen way more attractive women with ugly men than vice versa.
@Arabella_Rose Looking for status and money is what happens when women don't go for looks. It is still the same reason (wanting to be safe), just different method. And the same has been done by men, searching for rich and powerful women to marry in order to be set for life.Still, none of that changes the fact that both men and women, all throughout history, have been more focused on looks.
@Hawner I’m just saying that women also go for status or money. While men only go for looks. And plus women have a biological reason to value a mans personality/ character more because evolutionarily , she is designed to look for a man to help raise her offspring. She’s not just looking to fuck
And I am saying you are wrong. Again, for the umptenth time, both men and women go for looks for their respective biological reasons. As we evolved, we did not need the same reasons nor go for looks, (enhance your status, for example (both men and women did and still do that)), but some still focus on looks to choose a mate.I don't understand why you keep denying something as basic as that, that both sexes do that same thing equally! You are presenting it as something only make are guilty of, when that is far from the truth.Women don't have a biological reason to go for personality. If we go for biology, personality does not being good or keep predators away. That is done with muscles, hence why women chose their mates through looks.I'm tired of this discussion. I wish you well.
@Hawner I never denied that women never cared about physical looks. Most humans need physical attraction when it comes to dating. But it’s just men place higher emphasis on a woman’s looks cus that’s mainly the only thing they are looking for. Men aren’t attracted to high status women or marry for money as much as women do. Guys are also a lot more sexual than women. So it makes sense how men would put more emphasis on looks