Does saying “I love you” too early always mean a red flag?

[vintagegirl90]

I feel like it is a red flag. I have personally experienced that after a second date and unfortunately, I learnt the hard way, he became my boyfriend. However he turned out to be very possessive and wanted to control the way I dress and would be jealous very easily in public spaces. It was really hard to live up to his standards without him criticising me and he ended up dumping me over text because I refused to be an insane jealous woman just for him. You want someone to really be able to comprehend the meaning of what they are saying and not say for it ulterior motives. Also, it’s far better to really know the person after a decent amount of times lets say 6 months to truly know that’s what you feel and confidently express it. Those words are very sensitive and people are vulnerable when they hear it, you put your heart on your sleeve to be open to it. The words need to be used to mean something and be well timed. I take it with a pinch of salt if anyone told me very early now because I learnt my lesson.

[BitterSweetApplePie]

I've learned from experience that often times men confuse lust and infatuation with love. Its important to take time to get to know a person before you can say that you really love them.

Is it a red flag to me? Not really.
It just throws me off guard and becomes awk.

[Bluemax]

What exactly is "too early?" For some people I know, saying it within six months is "too early."

I think in some ways it certainly is a red flag. But I also recognize that different people have different definitions of what is "too early."

What do I wait for to say it? I wait until I feel it and I'm reasonably certain she does too. Now who said it first was the source of a playful fight my wife and I had. I said, "I'm *falling* in love with you" first. However, she said "I love you" first. My wife maintains that I said it first, because I said I was falling in love. I maintain that's different (as in I'm in the process of falling in love). *I* think she just wanted a one up me.

[virtue2332]

Why is this considered a red flag? After all they are just trying to relay information about their feelings toward you. Perhaps they don't have the adequate vocabulary to emphasize how infatuated he is with you. There really isn't a great number of single words that can describe this. One tactic that I used when someone that I was dating said they loved me early on was to immediately as them what the word love meant to them. What did love look like to them. The answers they gave helped me determine if it was a red flag or not.

[Account]

I dont want to be said those words.

If they feel that way it is their own issue, it is not something I want to hear.

[jennifer_bloom]

I don’t think so - it might mean somebody lacks experience and gets attached easily

[Makeushiver]

I think it can. I think when either member of a relationship says something like that and the other person feels like it's too early in the relationship for either of you to make that kind of declaration it sends out an alarm that the person saying it has an agenda that isn't something s/he was aware of. It s also abused by people who are emotionally needy in order to get a response which will be wildy overdramatized. If the response isn't what they want they will often accuse the other person of sins s/he never even considered. By nit immediately responding with the same premature sentiment than the other person is often accused of using someone for (name your poison) because the needier person in the relationship thinks that by making a scene it will bring the person around to repeating the "I love you" back. If s/he does that it isn't usually true, itls sally said ti buy enough time to gracefully get out of the relationship.

[Anonymous]

I remember the first time I said "I love you" to a guy, it was because I was trying to find out to say I'm not really comfortable in this relationship but he made me feel sorry for him and I chickened out... that relationship shouldn't have lasted another 3 years... I didn't love him, I learnt to tolerate and sort of gave up as i was remained that no one else would be intrested...

In comparison, my partner and I both said it pretty early... but we loved eachother before dating, as we were close friends and cared a lot for eachother and hanging out made us happy... we didn't do the infactionation thing luckily and it worked out well

[whatdoyouwantt]

It is usually fake. If guys say it too fast I just don’t believe it I say oh really or me too even though I don’t mean it. Lol but I don’t think too much about it.

[Dougzy]

very unsure to be fair, I`m generally not big on that I am kind of more sensitive on people's vibes and pick up on it before generally, women say it to me! don`t think it is a bad thing some people affect others in different ways.
Insisting that you tell them that you love them too early is most definitely a red flag if you can read the signs properly you will know whether it is a red flag

[Jjpayne]

I think you need to know when it's the right time. Those are not empty words. They are thoughtful and mean something. So, when you say them, they should come from a place where you have had the time to think it though. But saying it too early shows signs of be too strongly attached. Basically on the second date asking if you want to get married. It's too soon and too clingy. It needs to be in it's proper time and it should be when the timing is right to say it

[tHISpLACEiSbONKERZ]

I think some simply confuse being in love with loving someone. "I love you" can mean "I can't stop thinking about you and I'm really happy I get to be with you" ... Why would this be a red flag? .. I wait to sat I love you, but when I do I'd say it's worse then the times where I wanted to say it as soon as possible.

[Elsa143]

Actually it's not about waiting but genuinely knowing a person well enough to decide how you feel about them.
Many people made this sentence meaningless.
But it's a very serious thing to say to someone.

[Skankhunt]

Maybe. Some men fall very fast in love, some don't. You have to look how he act towards you. Is he nice, sweet, understanding, caring etc.

[Lliam]

Yes. It means that the person is too immature to know what love is. They are confusing love with infatuation. Saying "I love you" too early could also be for the purpose of manipulation.

[AddictedGirl]

I don't know about early or stuff
My guy said that to me after 2 months of simple friendship.
And since then we are happy together since 5 years.

[OmNomaly]

Definitely a red flag. Moreso if you haven't been friends for a long time before you even started to date.

[Poppykate]

I don’t think 🤔 you should throw those words around... otherwise they lose meaning... I think I have said it to 2 men in my life...

[JaneDoe377]

It depends on the person and situation. I don't rely on the internet for accurate information on very much.

[pink_and_inlove]

nope there are married couples that have said it to each other after two weeks. My boyfriend said it to me after two weeks of dating and we're 7 months together now in a happy and healthy relationship.

[GingerGuy]

Every person and every relationship is different. Who's to say what is "too early"? I mean, unless it's 5 minutes after meeting them LOL

[ohshee]

For me I wait but I mean if you click and you both know u clicked I might day it but try not to

[scarlett774]

Yeahh guys literally be saying “I love you” 2 days into dating and it’s obviously not true.

[DizzyDesii]

Not always. More so if its one sided rather than mutual