People tend to say if you keep attracting the wrong people than you need to change what you attract and what are you are attracted to. I understand that you can change your hang abouts and slowly your social group to meet people of different mindset and dreams.
However, if a girl constantly finds herself attracted to pretty or bad boys or a guy is always falling for gold diggers and high maintenance chicks. Is it actually doable and achievable that they can change what they're attracted to and become attracted to something different? Or are we just advising people to settle down for a relationship with the best option in hand with the absence of desire or love. Or does all of this is nothing but a form of some delusional sense of control over our choices in mating?
I think it can. I think it's all about looking at the traits you want to find. I look at it this way. As a guy I would be drooling over this But let's be real. I don't have a body like that and she might have a stronger interest in fashion and exercise than in other things that I do. So what the alternative. What do I need to make a sort list on... Well if I cross out the list of hot and attactive what do I have? 1. Friendly 2. Likes to be close and cuddle 3. Is supportive and likes things close to what I do 4. Has a body type more realistic to mine. You might come out with this So I think it's really making a short list of things you really want. But you change those things into a more Positive and meaningful list rather than just simple attaction. You make it desirable when you take a man at his whole vs just surface level attaction. I'd personally journal about this until you come to something very different from the guys you have been dating but still comfortable and desirable to you
Like you said there are so many variables and what affects what first is probably very difficult to know. Love is a concept we as humans have made up but the fact that we speak of it so much and have for a very long time it clearly exists but why we fall in love we don't know.
If someone keeps ending up with people they don't like then they probably are attracted to some characteristics but if you recognize that this is happening then maybe you can prevent it as well. Some maybe never can but some maybe can, I also believe we as persons are ever changing especially when young and what we used to like can become a dislike. With this said I do believe our types can change maybe more unconsciously than consciously and probably it's something harder to control. We can however learn from past experiences and begin associating certain behaviors with a past negative emotion and in that way change our type but that is a slow process and who knows how long that can take.
So to answer your question I believe it's possible but likely not very controllable so in a way it can be useless to give advise to those who have this problem. Maybe some type of CBT to condition yourself to associate something more positively and other things negatively.
I doubt anyone can give the fully correct answer to this and like always you ask very interesting questions that I personally haven't thought about.
That would be very practical indeed. I don't know exactly what you are personally referring to but for me I could probably have had a partner already if I could control who I liked and not. I don't know if it would have been good for me tthough because I think I so far have a pretty good feeling for who I like and that they are toxic or whatever.
Most Helpful Girl
DizzyDesii | 3.5K opinions shared on Dating topic.
Master
1 y
Mine hardly changes. Looks wise, i still prefer the same thing. Personality wise, i still prefer someone similar to myself.
to some small degree a persons preferences can change a bit over time. regarding what they find to be attractive physically and sexually.
however the modern internet has inflated many girls egos and self worth. because men are more likely to date down a bit in looks. if he happens to like a girl for other reasons.
so once a girl gets used to dating or hooking up with guys above her level. she starts to expect and desire only those types of guys in the future. regardless of how they might treat her during their time together.
because roughly 70% of girls are fuckable to some degree. since different guys enjoy different body types.
but only about 20% of girls are long term relationship material in the modern age. since that boils down to her personality, attitude and character more.
which is why their are many women who end up alone later in life these days.
I think it can change because my view on girls changed a lot over the years. It depends on what kind of people you hang around with because if you just spend with "bad" boys, you won´t see the positive sides of other guys. It strongly depends on your social circle because a relationship could be seen as a stronger bonded friendship. You are interested in a person mainly because of some character traits or style of clothing you like. So they must something in common with you, if you change or extand your friend zone you´ll probably meet other people.
I think the human mind is very powerful. If u convince your self about have sex with animals u will enjoy it. So it easier to convince your self to be attracted to a different group of people by using the magic of mind. It take a lot of practice and time but it’s always work
Well, I will talk from my experience, even tho it is a little different. When I was young boy, teen, I was attracted to the more beautiful girls, but I searched for true love, romance and you get the idea, that these girls rejected me. In time, I found out that I have same sex attraction... And I think that these rejections from the girls affected me and now I think I might be gay.
I KNOW we can find passion with the right kind of person and settle down. I learned my lessons through experience. I had to evolve before I was wise enough to know when I had found the right woman. And she wouldn't have liked me if I hadn't evolved. The evolution has continued since we've been married, too. It's always ongoing.
What gets me is on the inside I am bit confused over what love is. I don't think I will find what I need but I'm ok with nothing if that's what happens it's okay
Girl's Behavior 
Guy's Behavior 
Flirting 
Dating 
Relationships 
Fashion & Beauty 
Health & Fitness 
Marriage & Weddings 
Shopping & Gifts 
Technology & Internet 
Break Up & Divorce 
Education & Career 
Entertainment & Arts 
Family & Friends 
Food & Beverage 
Other 
Religion & Spirituality 
Society & Politics 
Sports 
Travel & Leisure 
Trending & News 
But let's be real. I don't have a body like that and she might have a stronger interest in fashion and exercise than in other things that I do. So what the alternative. What do I need to make a sort list on... 
So I think it's really making a short list of things you really want. But you change those things into a more Positive and meaningful list rather than just simple attaction. You make it desirable when you take a man at his whole vs just surface level attaction. I'd personally journal about this until you come to something very different from the guys you have been dating but still comfortable and desirable to you 
AI Bot Choice
Superb Opinion