exactly, no one is immune from life... it effects everyone differently and many of us always try and fight through even when the issues are nigh on impossible to face alone... certain people on here and yep i did downvote her... cos of how hateful and twisted she seems.. a problem shared is a problem halved, and it's a true fact that if we are able to voice a problem to a trusted other, we can often work through it... and come out stronger
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What a sweetheart you are.You will make a great partner some day.
You sound like an E/INFP
I've never heard of an e/infp. But I've googled and it does describe me pretty well.
bet you are just really great as a supportive friend huh? with that attitude i can imagine your circle of friends or family really know where not to turn if they are met with a bad run in life...
And I bet you walk on water and your shit smells like a basket of roses, Right? Ever think that maybe people overstay their welcome and come to people waaaaaay too many times with their problems and take and take and take too much? If you don't then you are delusional. Tough love is exactly that and personal boundaries are a must unless you want to be chewed up and spit out or smothered by needy soul sucking bastards and bitches who only live to wallow in their own Fucking miserable insanity and gripe about how nothing changes. I stand by my statement to put a stop to this kind of behavior you do that by not enabling people who feel sorry for themselves and "vent" when they need to be doing something about the problem rather than bitch and whine about it.
If you want men to feel comfortable sharing emotions, then but it on your list of things your attracted and more men will be that.
As I said, subconscious think...And amount of women dislikes, might only prove it...
Awwww. So nice.
@AmandaYVR I had to hold on my tears.
Have you seen Good Will Hunting? "It's not your fault" nearly ripped my heart out. God, that was a good script. And performances. Best of Damon and Willams.
@AmandaYVR no never. I will take a look at the trailer and see if it's my or my wife's cup of tea.
I pity you. But you're projecting.
@MountAverage Really, of all the other opinion on this thread mine is the one that warrants a condescending response?I'd say I worded it fairly reasonably compared to the other guys who expressed similar sentiments.
Oh don't worry, you're not the only one! And yes, there are worse than you, you're right. But you're still heavily projecting.
@MountAverage So if we are in agreement that I am not the only one and that my comment was not even the worst of the bunch, why do I get singled out with your fake pity and unqualified psychological assessment?Must be my lucky day or somethin, right
I'm not sure what "psychological assessment" you mean. The fact that you're projecting is as much a "psychological assessment" as the assessment "you're angry" when seeing someone scream in anger.And well, I did reply to one other guy as well. But I can reply to everybody, sorry!
@MountAverage There is a lot more subjectivity in the former than the later especially when comparing anonymous text vs witnessing an emotional outburst in person.Oh, I guess you did inject your self righteous attitude into someone elses thread. My bad. Of course you can't respond to everyone, but personally I feel someone else like FatherJack might have been more deserving of being the second recipient.
So let's make this simple. How is what you're doing NOT projecting? Like, I have a really hard time seeing it any other way, so I'm really curious to know!
Oh, and the reason why I don't comment under an answer like FatherJack's, is because there is no conversation to be had there. He's clearly a crazy person. You don't seem crazy to me.
@MountAverage Well technically the burden should be on you to explain why I AM projecting since you are the one bringing forth the accusation.And to be honest the "I pity you" comment was more annoying to me than the "you're projecting". Had you just said the latter I would have simply disregarded it and not felt the need to reply.
Oh, I thought my reasoning for why you're projecting was obvious, sorry! So, you're taking your personal negative experiences with women (and probably what you have observed in other couples) and extrapolate that to a very universal judgement of how women generally are. Now let's hear why you think you're not projecting.About the pity thing - I know it sounded very condescending, but just to be clear, it was not a "you're below me" type of pity but more of a "I feel sorry for you for apparently having had no (or only few) experiences with sympathetic women". Like, that's really bad. I'd say the same thing to a woman if it was vice versa.
@MountAverage So you've gone judging what counts as projecting to who is sane vs crazy. Maybe you should consider a career in psychology/therapy you seem to have a nack for it.And saying "I pity you" is more likely to be interpreted as "you're beneath me" and I think you know that.In regards to projecting, I thought it was when you take traits that you possess and ascribe them onto others ie someone who is cheating on their partner but constantly accuses them of doing the same. Or in this case if I have zero sympathy for women's issues or look down on women for being emotionally vulnerable and accuse them of the same just because that is how I feel towards them. I don't see how anything I wrote would indicate that.
"So you've gone judging what counts as projecting to who is sane vs crazy."No, what makes you think I have done that? I didn't say any of that sort. Seems like there's a misunderstanding here, care to elaborate? In fact, I even explicitly said I do NOT think you're crazy."And saying "I pity you" is more likely to be interpreted as "you're beneath me" and I think you know that."You're absolutely right. I kinda knew you'd most likely interpret it that way. But I had already sent it when I thought about that. HahaThere's different types of projecting. What you just described is definitely also a type of a projection, you're right. But projection can also just mean you take your personal experiences that you had with specific individuals and project them onto other people because they happen to be (in this case) of the same gender. It goes hand in hand in overly generalizing and stereotyping, of course. But more importantly, it ignores all the experiences the rest of the world has made about the same issue.
@MountAverage I know you said I'm NOT crazy and Jack is, my point was just that you are still making judgments on random people's sanity without much evidence. For all you know I could be far more fucked in the head than Jack, but just better at hiding it. That said, I'm mostly just taking the piss when accusing you of being a wannabe psychologist similar to your "i pity you" comment.Exactly so if you actually intended to have a conversation with someone it's a stupid phrase to use.And if that is what you meant by projecting then I guess I can accept that to a certain extent. I would still maintain that guys do have valid reasons to be hesitant towards opening up but I can't deny that I have a tendency to see things through a more negative lens.
"my point was just that you are still making judgments on random people's sanity without much evidence."But you said I determine whether someone here is "sane vs. crazy" based on whether they're projecting. That's not true. I didn't even say anything about that other guy projecting or not. My point of calling crazy was that what he said is so outside of any reasonable mindset that it would be a waste of time trying to talk to him. Like I wouldn't waste my time talking to a Flat-Earther, you know? Hope that clarifies it."For all you know I could be far more fucked in the head than Jack, but just better at hiding it."Yes, absolutely. I don't know how crazy or sane you are. But I do know that I can have a sane discussion with you, because that's what's been happening so far. And that's all I meant when I said you don't seem crazy."That said, I'm mostly just taking the piss when accusing you of being a wannabe psychologist similar to your "i pity you" comment."I was fully aware of that, don't worry! :D"Exactly so if you actually intended to have a conversation with someone it's a stupid phrase to use."Yeah, maybe. Maybe I wasn't expecting you to actually want a conversation. But I think you're right in what you just said."I would still maintain that guys do have valid reasons to be hesitant towards opening up but I can't deny that I have a tendency to see things through a more negative lens."Sure. People become hesitant after negative experiences. That's natural. I'm no exception to that. But whether it's reasonable or not is another question. The point here is that we're judging people's characters/personalities without knowing them, because they remind us of people we do know. That is natural. But it is not reasonable.
@MountAverage I don't think that is what I said or at least it is not what I meant but lets drop it. Not worth going back and forth on that.ok, fair enough.Didn't actually "want" a conversation per say but I am open to them.Yes people are individuals but that there are commonalities among people. There are patterns and trends that can be observed and weighed for risk assessment. If the perceived benefits of something do not makeup for the risks then it's reasonable to avoid it or at least be skeptical.
Sorry if I misunderstood you then!"There are patterns and trends that can be observed and weighed for risk assessment."Of course, but that would only be reasonable with statistical significance. And personal anecdotes are very, very far from being statistically significant. That's the problem with that kind of personal "risk assessment". At the end of the day, it's just a form of bitterness. It's not reasonable. I can speak from experience, I've done that myself a lot!"If the perceived benefits of something do not makeup for the risks then it's reasonable to avoid it or at least be skeptical."Sure. That would be absolutely reasonable. But it would require the judgement of the risk to be reasonable to begin with...
@MountAverage You don't always have statistical studies on everything and and even studies can contradict eachother. At the end of the day you have to utilize whatever you have available to you and if the best you have are commonly shared anecdotes among your gender and personal experiences/observations it's not unreasonable to use them. You can be open to being wrong if you find an exception to your preconceptions but you shouldn't completely disregard what you have and walk around blind.Another way I'd argue this is weighing of the errors.Error 1:You avoid opening up to a woman who would have been sympathetic and respectful towards your inner struggles.Error 2: You mistakenly open up to a woman who belittles you and betrays your trust.I don't think there is an objective answer to which is better, but personally I prefer making error 1 more often if it can reduce the odds of me committing error 2.
Sigh.. sad but true
Lol if I like two guys and one is open about his emotions while the other is an emotionless rock, you can bet all your life savings that I would go for the guy who is actually willing to talk about his feelings and emotions.
How are you 62 and so unbelievably clueless about women or generally human relationships? Wow, that's just sad.
Exactly that why men don’t do it. No woman has ever been turned on by a crying man.
Cause girl want to see men as strong, that’s why they never say they want an emotional guy.
@chris_987 I dont know what girls you're polling but I'd much rather have a guy that shows his emotions rather than to be cold and closed off.
But if a guy is showing his emotions because he got yelled at or beat up. He then doesn’t want to see you fight his battles for him. But if it’s the other way around you might be turned on.