How does "not looking for a girlfriend" make a girl appear?

[Barbaric]

Ignore that advice. Your biggest problem is that you're afraid to make moves, and the only way to get over that fear is to do that a lot more.

The blue anon down there said that you should be friends with a lot of people and treat women like friends, because making a move makes you look desperate. That can work if you're physically attractive and confident enough to pull the trigger when a woman is showing you enough interest, but I wouldn't suggest you do that because you're not confident enough to pull the trigger. You probably don't even know how to spot the signs.

I'd suggest that you start shooting your shot a lot more. You're too cautious, too afraid of rejection. You need to get rejected a bunch of times to realise that it's not a big deal.

Act too asexual and women will only ever see you as a platonic friend, or if they're interested they'll lose interest because you seem too uninterested or like you're a pussy. With women who are interested you have a window of opportunity where they want you to make something happen, and if you miss that window it's closed forever. Act too needy though and women will be turned off by your desperation.

You're already on the asexual side. You need to go to the other side before you can get to the middle. You don't need to worry about showing too much interest because you're showing none at all.

[Telekinetic-Potato]

When woman realise that you're fine with or without them, it drives them fucking bananas.

For a lot of women it, seriously can put their ego on check and they will end up spending all this time thinking about you and trying to "figure him out"

So not exactly stop trying in that sense. Think of it more like how people say the most powerful card you have in a negotiation is to be willing to walk away. You'll never feel the ones who let you go and eventually someone is gonna try to get your attention before you go.

And then you play their little games with them. Don't ignore them but don't give them all your attention. Women are generally incredibly insecure and are almost always on some level of thinking "do I want something no one else wants?"

They NEED to be convinced you have some kind of value. And you're not just some guy who's while spiel is that you think she's hot and now you want to simp her. And the quality can be just about anything, it could be that you're funny or you have a good job or you're just fun to be around.

So yea hope that helps. And on the whole anxiety thing just remember, you got nothing to lose. There's 8 billion people out there man, plenty of fish.

[btbc92]

Not looking is somebody like me. A person who is celibate. You are still looking therefore, you may not get the type of person you may want simply because you're so concerned inches about getting somebody. At any given time you could have got somebody. But the real question is why do you really want or need somebody? I keep telling people before. You have to have logical and rational reasons to be involved in a relationship. Until you understand why you need to be in that kind of relationship and invite somebody in. 9 out of 10 times is self-serving desires when relationships are when you are in servitude of somebody. But they also must be practical reasons to have them. Such as Desiring to be married and have children and to be involved with a person who equally share those desires. What you're describing is not in a situation where you're not looking. You are anxiously looking but looking to take whatever route it means if it guarantees your success in getting anybody. In other words you're fishing. And you looking to see who's willing to take the bait.

[Cherokeehp]

“Stop looking” doesn’t mean stop talking to women at all. It just means stop pressuring yourself into feeling like you need to go get a girlfriend. It’s just desperate, and often times it results in people getting into shitty relationships because they want to be in one so badly that they accept the first person that flirts with them. Just chill. Talk to women the way you would a friend, until you really get to know them. If you guys have a natural chemistry, then you let her know that you like her.

[Anonymous]

Here's the deal. If you say you're looking for a girlfriend, their unconscious thoughts are: he's looking, but he's not taken, which means he's not worth having.

If you're in a relationship, a lot of girls will try to hook up with you anyway. Why? Because if you're taken, you're worth having.

If you tell them you're not looking for a relationship, then the "not taken = not worth having" part is null, and there's no guilt in it for her. Especially if you're not looking because you haven't found anybody worth pursuing. Because now you're a challenge!

It's not that a girl will magically appear. You still have to talk and flirt. But if you're just hanging out with friends and casually meeting and carrying on with women without doing all the stupid shit men do when they're chasing tail, women see you as 100x more desirable, challenging, and likable. You won't come off as a sleazeball, loser, cheater, whatever. And the more you treat them as just an acquaintance or friend, the more they'll try to prove they're worthy of pursuing

[Fromdusktilldawn]

Yea some people told me too that when I stop looking for girls it will come out of the blue, 'unexpected'. The meaning behind it is that if you are looking for a girl, you set yourself under pressure and force it, and if you're not looking your having a calmer attitude

[DizzyDesii]

Not looking is a waste of time because you could passup on “the one”. Sure its good to let the majority come to you but its also ok to look too

[sweetcocoa_]

I'm not sure what your question is
You can't just wait around and hope someone magically appears like you have to get to know someone

[Anonymous]

My brother is around your age and never been on a date with his whole life

[IHateBeingaMan]

no luck with dating apps or online dating either?