13 d

Dilemma: tried changing my dating pattern but I still only attract narcissistic abusers. Should I finally accept and settle?

Anonymous
I grew up with a narcissistic mother, from 22-26 i had the best relationships. Nice guys, at 25 i fell madly in love with someone I knew already. We remained very connected for the next 4/5 years but broke up after a year because I was moving and other things. He was always there for me, loving and kind. After that I didn’t really date or meet anyone and lived by “if its meant to be it will come” (well that was nonsense). Then at 29 i tried to be a little more proactive, i met someone at a party. We lasted a month since I could very early on see the red flags. After that I met 2/3 more such guys. I met one very nice guy before my last ex (who was the ultimate narcissist) but even after a few months I couldn’t like him more. I have liked nice guys and i usually like reserved decent slightly awkward guys but somehow luck has never favoured me in love. The nice guys I like, don’t like me back. I took timeout especially with lockdown to work on myself and to understand how the last 2/3 years i didn’t attract good guys. But I think I’ve worked so hard, tried everything and now im 32. Maybe standing by myself, dumping every shady guy as soon as red flags emerged (by the way somehow I always foudn out months down the line that these guys were indeed horrible so my instinct is strong) was for nothing.

i mean this for the older people out there, maybe the trade-off isn’t worth it? Should i settle for an abuser since those are the only ones willing to marry me?

thank and you please be sensitive:)
Dilemma: tried changing my dating pattern but I still only attract narcissistic abusers. Should I finally accept and settle?
4
1
Add Opinion