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Trending & News I asked someone out for a second date, and she took almost 3 days to respond
Updates:
- No, it's not bad. It's just a good way of letting me know you're not that interested. I'm all about mutual consent, so I lose interest when someone shows me they are not interested in me.
I wouldn't call that "bad". To me, it's a good thing to let me know subtly not to waste my time or hers. Girls often have a difficult time being direct, they even give their number out to people they are not interested in hearing from because they can't handle just saying "no" (lack of confidence, fear, and other fear-based motivations). So a subtle "soft no" sign like this is helpful.1|00|0Is this still revelant?
Most Helpful Guy
- In my opinion no. You have to consider everyone makes decisions on their own terms. You have no idea what the other person you are interested is currently doing right now unless you know them extremely well which at the early stage of romance is usually rare. Everyone has different situations it honestly depends the person you are interested in. You could be interested in a single parent raising X amount ot kids who currently quit their job to go back to school. That's just an example of multiple possible scenarios. I dont think people should feel discouraged if it takes the person you like to respond after a few days. In my opinion, if you really like them that much, would 48 to 72 hours really kill you? Some people might say yes I can't wait that long but in my opinion if you are really invested in the other person you will have to learn patience eventually.0|00|0Is this still revelant?
Most Helpful Girls
- Im tired of people playing that odd “make him/her wait game.” I’ll be on to the next by then and you should be too. If you reeeeally like her then sure, stay and continue playing her game. But i dont have time for people like that who waste time. I understand a couple mins to respond, maybe even some hours. But days? she's not worthy of your interest. she's either talking to someone else and debating breaking it off with them first, OR some idiot friend told her to make you wait and work for her attention OR she's totally fangirling and has fainted somewhere0|00|0Is this still revelant?
- She's calculating something. Who knows what that is.
I'd tell you 'girls be crazy', but unfortunately it's just all humans. They're inscrutable.0|00|0Is this still revelant?
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What's Your Opinion? Sign Up Now!What Girls & Guys Said
3446- 3 days to respond... did she say yes? If so WTF cares then.1|01|0
- Possibly. Did she say yes?
It sounds like she is either busy or has another guy consuming her time. Go on the second date, but let her know you are dating other women. You are NOT exclusive. (Date other people by the way) If she is quality girlfriend material, she will eventually be the only one BOTH of you want to see.0|00|0 - If you want a relationship that is traditional in any way then yes, it's bad that she took 3 days to respond.
If you're okay with her being disrespectful to you and maybe even bringing Chad on the second date & french kissing him right in front of you, go for it.0|00|0 - There could be something going on in her life.. Doesn't sound like you were a priority at that moment. If she responds promptly after and continues to talk to you and make plans, then keep trying. Otherwise if you keep getting these spaced out replies that take +1 days, move on0|00|0
- I use to be in the military. Dating was hard. When your stressed out, depressed, confused, and exhausted, responding to messages almost seem like a chore. But at the end of the day I would at least try to respond, if i really liked you I would still make that effort even if I suddenly pass out after the first message at least I’m trying. 3 damn days lmao, either she physically is unable to message you or you should just give up.0|20|0
- Some people don't want to come across as desperate or too eager. So they'll wait before responding. I've heard some people say they actually do that even though they're interested. Personally, I'd respond the same day, as soon as I could. It's a putoff when people don't show eagerness to see you again.1|11|0
- I can understand someone not responding for a few hours. We all have lives to get on with, so fair enough. But unless they have a high ranking position at a company or went camping/hiking for a few days, then there's no way that they were busy enough to not reply for 3 days.
Side Question: Did they say Yes or No to the date?1|00|0 - i need help the guy cut me off 9 months ago emailed me askinf for my snap and i asked for his instead so he hasn't replied on email for like 1 week so i cut him of proper bad and said “ i think best if we dont talk” and called him a boi lol I don't know why he even fickin email me0|10|0
- It's pretty rude and inconsiderate. If she was very serious about it then she would set the 20 seconds aside to reply to you. Also if she had to figure out her plans she should have told you that.0|00|0
- Never. It is it almost always, with few toxic exception, a very mature, specially emotionally, thing to do...
Would you say so, asker?0|00|0 - Could've been waiting to see if something else panned out and maybe it fell through. Could've been testing to see how willing you are to lie in wait, like a doormat. I just don't think it's because they're busy or shy. They already got through the first date. That should've made it easy to decide on a second one. I wouldn't put much stock in this one.1|10|0
- She isn't interested. Move on. If a woman is interested in you, she wouldn't leave you wondering. This girl you asked out is clearly cowering away from you asking her out. Cut your losses and find yourself a girl who IS interested.1|10|0
- hmmm. not sure, i think of that qestion l, a job interview0|00|0
- Yes, that is a long time and gives of the impression of having a lack of interest.0|00|0
- The response will tell you more than the time taken. If their response is "I would love to go out with you" then that isn't bad. Also how long after it was read is more important than how long in total.0|10|0
- It's not wrong. She's probably a busy person. Don't take it personally! :)0|00|0
- I mean if it took her 3 days to see your message I wouldn't be worried about it. It happens people get busy and for some their phones are not a priority. However, if she's ignoring you or playing hard to get that's a bit immature.0|01|1
Like another person said, we live in a time where people are glued to their phones. This is especially the case with women. She isn't that "busy" as you think. Even bloody astronauts and rocket scientists, pilots or presidents find time to communicate on social media. This is a clear example of someone who is NOT interested, but doesn't like to break the news. So this is her giving him the "clue" that it's a no without directly saying it's a no.
@TruthBringer you're probably right. This actually happened to me a few months ago I was dated someone and it was all well suddenly it started with late replies, he would take 7 hours sometimes a whole day to answer my messages and his replies were mostly very short and dry. I knew something was very wrong when I started seeing him online but not answering my messages. I moved on and started doing the same. Never heard from him again LOL.
@sheikalana You did the right thing. And the fact you didn't hear anything back proves he wasn't interested. Not that it matters since there are plenty of others. These actions are all part of flakiness. I've dated many girls and they all have something in common --> they never made me unsure about their interest in me. So I take even a slight sign of flakiness as a "no".
- Yes, it is bad. She should at least responded: "Things going on. Let me get back to you." as a place holder. The delay shows ambivalence. One day is fine and then I would withdraw the invitation.1|10|0
- Yeah if someone doesn’t get back to you within 24 hours they intentionally disregarded that text. This is a sign of low interest level. I wouldn’t initiate contact again2|30|0
- That’s a terrible thing. Usually if a guy doesn’t reply back during next day , it means he’s not interested. She’s not into you. She’s probably just using you for a free meal or just settling0|10|0
Anonymous5 dWell the girl I’m talking with is blue ticking me on WhatsApp, but she is still replying. Just be patient. Don’t rush or force replies... doesn’t end well0|00|0- I'd say yes, lol. At the very least she doesn't sound ecstatic about it.0|00|0
- Nowadays? When everyone is glued to their phone and sending a message takes about 10second? It is bad.
Unless his family died or something.0|20|0 - Some women like to play hard to get, if she wasn't interested, I'm pretty sure she wouldn't of got back to you at all or would just say no to you. Don’t worry just be yourself1|00|1
Also maybe she wanted to see just how much you are actually interested in her if you think about it 🤔
There are a lot of women like that (usually on dating apps) who match with dudes, communicate with them, but don't want to escalate things further. They want the free attention/validation, not actually getting to know people. That girl sounds no different.
Anonymous5 dHmmm like talk to u in general? Depends. Does she have a high demand career? Then no...
If she doesn't than no0|00|0- It’s not necessarily bad. Maybe she was busy. She did agree to go out with you, so it can’t be all bad, right? So go on the date, have fun with her, and see if you two want to see each other again.0|01|1
- Don't look for signs. As long as she said yes and is wonderful on the date, it doesn't matter. I hate that nowadays everyone comes to the conclusion that you must reject that person based on one sign.0|01|2
- It's a reasonable time , if people are working. The one thing is you got a reply.0|00|0
- I don't like that. Either she's uninterested or she's playing games. Both red flags.1|20|0
- Yes. It’s enough proof she doesn’t want a second date. Who takes that much time to decide on something they actually want?2|10|0
- Personally that kinda thing ticks me off. And I usually lose interest when a girl does this to me.2|10|0
- If it's not an enthusiastic yes then it's a "no". Furthermore i don't care who he or she is. You deserve an answer. Even if she said yes at this point i'd tell her "no".1|10|0
- Yes. I think that’s rude. They should know within 24 hours if they are available again or want to see you again.
Time to cut bait.0|10|0 - that sounds really bad to be honest dump her and find another girl who will not play games with you0|30|0
- Lol you're a low priority option. At this point understand you're just a free meal when she can't get it from the guy she wants0|20|0
- Get over her. Date her but don’t expect her to be your girlfriend forever.0|00|0
- That's pretty weird. She's weighing other options. Ask her how serious she is, and if she's weighing other options maybe you guys shouldn't be together.1|10|0
- Yea indeed, hell there is no real reason a 2 second text couldn’t have been made.1|10|0
- Maybe she just isn't on her phone much, I know I take ages to respond cause I don't use my phone that much0|11|2
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@zomegagon If you don't check your message you aren't gonna know that's a message for a date so it's not inconsiderate, also 3 days is nothing, how impatient does people have become?
If the date is in a week then you still have four days to prepare this is more than enough.Still shows you have no interest. Do Yoh leave your phone for days without touching it? I doubt it. It's like back before smartphone and cellphones, the hobe phone would ring, you just ignore it all day? I also play video games, but still manage to find time to answer, unless I forget to.
@Paul09 People have tons of stuff to do in their life I don't except them to send me message everyday. I dedicate my time to my hobbies and only respond to message when I notice I have one and I do not touch my phone everyday especially considering my battery is shit and only last a fews hours on economy even when I don't use it so I avoid touching it and just use my laptop.
Yes, I do ignore my home phone all day cause most people that call are annoying people that try to sell me useless stuff so I do not respond to it anymore. I never do.
When I play video games I'm fully focused on it and forget to eat, drink and sleep. I just play until my sister tell me it's late and i should go to sleep or when my mother wake up to go working (which is around 6 am).
- Anonymous6 dI would say so. If you have to take time to think about whether or not you want to date someone, you probably shouldn't go out with them. If you like someone you shouldn't have to second guess it.0|10|0
- Bad? No clue. It definitely means she ain't interested though.0|10|0
- It's a pretty important question, it might take some time to answer for some0|00|0
- Sounds like you may have won the runner up prize or she’s board and needs some free dining.0|20|0
- Reply within 24 hours, I'm sorry but nobody is that busy1|40|0
- Nope it's not bad. Some girls go faster and some go slow. Give her a chance.0|01|2
Your 30 and you still believe that? She’s not interested in him. If she took longer than a day it was intentional.
- She may be very busy and or uninterested. It happens bro just take it on the chin and move on. No one is at fault here0|11|0
- She's a very busy person or she isn't really that interested. Sorry0|01|0
- Nobody is that fucking busy. Just pump and dump her.0|11|0
- No answer to a request for a date is a "no" answer.0|20|0
- It shows lack of interest or lack of attention. Depends on you if that is tolerable or bad0|10|0
- Anonymous6 dAs long as you get the date it's all good. Just make the date a success. Don't worry about how long it took for her to get back to you.0|01|1
You should know better than this. He can go on a second date but he sure as hell shouldn’t put much effort into it or pay anything. Her taking that long to respond is a sign of low interest. Chances are she just wants to use him for something else.
No women give clues and tells about their true intentions well before the date.
I’m guessing he thinks she is really attractive but not vice versa. His infatuation is blinding the ugly truth on this. Not to call a kettle pot black (been there myself) but guys get stupid when they like women and many girls unfortunately exploit that.
He’s better off mirroring her behavior. He should wait the exact amount of time to text her back and she did. Show her he has self respect. He values his own time and effort.
But I feel for him. I fucking hate women who act this way. But us guys got to stop enabling them.- Show All Show Less
- Opinion Owner6 d
@guesswhoseback That's my point dude--you don't spend a bunch of cash until you know where you stand. And you don't know where you stand until you're hooking up at least. You should NEVER be unhappy if a girl ends up being a dud on the date--that's ENTIRELY your own fault if that's the case. Plan a date that's a "no lose" situation for you and it's all good. THAT'S the point I'm making when I say you need to LEARN from the experience.
Nah I still disagree. Only because I’ve encountered multiple POS selfish women in my life and this is a clue she might be one of them. I rather cut it off fast vs getting a “date” where my time, money, hope, chivalry is getting exploited. I’ve tried giving women the benefit of the doubt in the past but that NEVER worked out well. The ugly truth is the truth.
But this guy didn’t give much details about the scenario. He didn’t talk about how the first date went or what she said when she finally responded. Did they even kiss on the first date? I bet nothing happened.
I feel for this guy. He obviously likes her and wants to make it something. But if she isn’t interested it’s best for him to cut his losses and move on ASAP. Easier said than done but it’s the best way to handle it.
- It depended on the person. That person may have been scared and insecure1|00|3
If she liked him she would of got back sooner. The only reason she did get back is because she wants to use him for something else.
(I didn’t see this until now)
Some people are very unusual and isolated. So it’s a slight possibility but without knowing the person, there is no way of knowing. Which is why I said it depends on the person- Show All Show Less
It’s definitely possible that she is using him and I personally think that probably is the case but without knowing the person and how the person is like, there is no way of knowing.
- I think it's unresponsible but otherwise okay0|00|0
- Anonymous5 dNo, it's ok. She was probably just trying to see if her first choice was available that night, but since he wasn't you got picked. Dump her.1|00|0
- Anonymous6 dBad form. You're bullshitin'.0|00|0
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