18 year old, never had a date, how to ask girls out/get numbers?

I'm an 18 year old senior about to graduate high school. I don't hangout with girls ever really nor do I have any friends but one and the rest are acquaintances. Occasionally I will be with girls when there is a group outing at work, but that's about it. I'm into "nerdy" activities I guess like computer games or poker. I've never had a beer before because I haven't been invited to any parties. Not to be arrogant, but I am not that bad looking. I'm a little chubby, but nothing terribly noticeable. People actually think I'm skinny at school. I also listen to death metal which most people would never guess I do, because I am shy and I don't dress like a metalhead. I will talk to girls, attractive ones might I add, in school sometimes and they will say hey to me in the hallway, but outside of school it's like I don't exist. I don't get any texts, Facebook IMs, or wallposts. When it comes to girls, I'm always afraid to text them because then I automatically assume that they think I am being annoying or they think I like them. I don't have many girls numbers because I don't ever have the confidence to get them or the need to. I just checked my phone and I have 40 guys numbers and 8 girls... I find that pretty sad considering I am 18 years old and at a public high school.

Last week, me and some co-workers went bowling and I had my eye on one of the girls there who was the same age as me. I talked to her the whole time and she would always gaze into my eyes when I would be talking or she would be. After we left the bowling alley, my friend said that he thinks she likes me and that I should ask her out. I was excited to hear this, because I'm not use to that kind of stuff. I didn't talk to her for two days and then I Facebook IM'd her and jokingly asked if she wanted to be part of my family on Facebook, which also includes two other co-workers haha. She accepted and now she is listed as my mother on Facebook lol. I haven't talked to her in a week and now I am starting to have my doubts about her liking me. When my friend told me she liked me, I initially said I didn't think so, because I thought that she acted like that around all guys. If a girl liked a guy or had some interest in him, do you think she would text me or something? She is one of the girls numbers I have who I occasionally talk to maybe once every two months.

Sorry for this rant, but I feel the need to vent about this stuff.

I don't want the girl I like to get the idea that I actually do like her. That's why I'm afraid to text her, because I don't normally talk to her on a daily basis.


Most Helpful Guy

  • You already talk to girls on a regular basis at school so really the hardest part is done. It's just a matter of saying "We should get dinner this weekend." when you're talking to one who seems to be paying a lot of attention to you. It's that simple. Whether or not she agrees you'll feel better since that's just more experience to chalk up for yourself.

    As for the girl you like, nothing's over and done with. She might be waiting for you to make a real move. Call her up or text her however you two talk and just shoot the sh*t about whatever. If it goes well, ask her out at the end of the convo. That's all there is to it.

    And you're not sad. I didn't start dating until I was 18. I went to an all boys high school, I was 30 pounds overweight, and I had really bad self-esteem. The only deal breaker in that list is the self-esteem. The Elephant Man could have been a player if he had the right attitude. Your attitude has to tell them you're fine on your own and that they'll be glad they went out with you.


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What Girls Said 1

  • A lot of girls wait for you to make the first move. A lot of girls are just as shy as you are! So you need to take some initiative, okay? And it's perfectly fine to text or IM or whatever a girl. Just don't smother her. Wait for her to reply before you send her another message. Don't ask "Are you there?". That's when it gets annoying!

    It's scary, but a lot of the time you need to make the first step! Show them how cool you are (:

    Good luck! You sound like a sweetie, so just keep at it and you'll be fine (:

    • I can relate to this topic. I'm 17 and never had a boyfriend. Because the first thing that enters in my mind is "waste of time" when you're committed to someone the time will surely come in a "break-up stage" I just hate goodbyes that's why. :)

What Guys Said 1

  • @Update: So start talking to her more regularly and wait a couple weeks before asking her out.