Have you ever noticed that girls don't know how to handle guys who don't fit a steriotype?

Question

I've noticed that girls get frustrated dealing with the same "types" of guys, of course this means they're generalizing because no two people are the same. Regardless they get sick of dealing with them and they always say they're looking for a "good guy" someone different. When they finally do encounter a decent guy by society's standards. Has a job, a vehicle, a place to stay, working on his future. They don't know what to do, commit n leave the dating game? Or keep looking for something better? and often end up looking for his flaws to lump him in to the "garbage men" they are so often used to dealing with. I have had situations where I feel this has happened to me, but I'm not just talking about me. I know other guy's have experienced this, I've seen it happen often. Do you think I'm close?

Answer 1

Anonymous

I've done this, not because I was looking for his flaws, but because I thought I was too flawed for him.
A couple of years ago, I finally got my own business going, and I bought an apartment that I am settled in and things are good... but I still think of myself of that messed up girl who is still trying figure life out.
My last relationship was very toxic and it went on for far too long and I got very hurt... and then recently, I met a guy who was so unlike my ex. He seems to have his life completely sorted and he's a really good guy... what I wasn't expecting was for him to be Intested in me. It blindsided me.
In an ideal world, he'd be the perfect guy. He is, as far as such a person exists.
It's my insecurity that stops things from moving forward. It's not that I don't know how to handle him. At the moment, we are good friends. We spend a lot of time together. I just don't feel good enough for him.
That last relationship I was taking about ended a year ago, but I have a lot of work to do on myself before I could match this guy who's in my life now in terms of a relationship.
I can't offer what he is offering.
It'a sad. It makes me sad because I know I am missing out, but my worry is that I would be a let down
Who he thinks I am and who I really am are not the same.

It's insecurity that drives some women to behave the way you say.

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1 Person

RawIronhide

1 y
I've struggled with the same feelings. I often don't cut myself enough slack. I feel that good guys remain decent because they don't think of themselves as good guys. You'd be surprised if you got into ones brain. I believe people who reguard themselves as loaded weapons or inadiquate are actually the best of the bunch. That's why my heart saddened to hear you outline such a selfless line of thought with such self awareness. My advice would be to believe the other person when they say they like you. Even if they don't know all your flaws. Maybe they've already considered them and see you as wort it, because they see in you what you can't see in yourself, what I see in you, what anyone who is truly looking should see. A pretty decent person trying their best who needs and deserves love. Don't deny yourself something no one els is denying you of yet.
Opinion Owner

1 y
I completely get what you mean. We are often harder on ourselves, especially in relationships as we can never really see how others see us. We view ourselves from our point of view...
No matter what you do, there is always that feeling that you should do better
I'm always picking apart by behaviour
Thank you for your understanding reply. It was nice to read
This guy that I was speaking of, I know that he likes me, I just don't understand why he likes me. I dont get it. It makes no sense... and the thing with him is the he is so genuine in the way hat he acts. He has made me realise how rare that is these days.
It caught me off guard.
I guess you have a very good point in that actually, I don't really know how to handle it.
When you're in a toxic relationship for a long time, after a while, you learn to play at that level... it's a very difficult mindset to untangle yourself from, and that is the work I need to do.
I really like this guy but he is simply out of my league. I feel like I would drag him down, and he deserves so much better.
I wish I'd met him a different time.
Thank you, though :)
RawIronhide

1 y
There is no other time. The choices is yours to make but this is not a dress rehearsal this is your life-bill murray lol. It is a very rare thing, you should make it happen, you only get one lifetime doll. Whatever you choose good luck. Remember life has no right or wrongs, just twists-N-turns.

Answer 2

RawIronhide

I've struggled with the same feelings. I often don't cut myself enough slack. I feel that good guys remain decent because they don't think of themselves as good guys. You'd be surprised if you got into ones brain. I believe people who reguard themselves as loaded weapons or inadiquate are actually the best of the bunch. That's why my heart saddened to hear you outline such a selfless line of thought with such self awareness. My advice would be to believe the other person when they say they like you. Even if they don't know all your flaws. Maybe they've already considered them and see you as wort it, because they see in you what you can't see in yourself, what I see in you, what anyone who is truly looking should see. A pretty decent person trying their best who needs and deserves love. Don't deny yourself something no one els is denying you of yet.

Answer 3

Opinion Owner

I completely get what you mean. We are often harder on ourselves, especially in relationships as we can never really see how others see us. We view ourselves from our point of view...
No matter what you do, there is always that feeling that you should do better
I'm always picking apart by behaviour
Thank you for your understanding reply. It was nice to read
This guy that I was speaking of, I know that he likes me, I just don't understand why he likes me. I dont get it. It makes no sense... and the thing with him is the he is so genuine in the way hat he acts. He has made me realise how rare that is these days.
It caught me off guard.
I guess you have a very good point in that actually, I don't really know how to handle it.
When you're in a toxic relationship for a long time, after a while, you learn to play at that level... it's a very difficult mindset to untangle yourself from, and that is the work I need to do.
I really like this guy but he is simply out of my league. I feel like I would drag him down, and he deserves so much better.
I wish I'd met him a different time.
Thank you, though :)

Answer 4

RawIronhide

There is no other time. The choices is yours to make but this is not a dress rehearsal this is your life-bill murray lol. It is a very rare thing, you should make it happen, you only get one lifetime doll. Whatever you choose good luck. Remember life has no right or wrongs, just twists-N-turns.

Have you ever noticed that girls don't know how to handle guys who don't fit a steriotype?

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