Am I too old for dating a 20+ year old?

I'm 38. (I look about 30, and act about 20!)

oh, and apparently my question was too short. So...

  • Yes, that's too much of an age gap you cradle snatcher.
    Vote A
  • No, as long as everything is above board, what's the problem
    Vote B
Select age and gender to cast your vote:
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Having slept on it a bit, and had a bit of an argument on here about it. You can sign up for the army at 18, get sent to a third world country and legally kill people or be killed on the command of people far older than me.

So if people 18 can die for their country, then there is nothing wrong with a girl 2 years older dating an older guy, not in the grand old scheme of things.

I'm a 38 year old guy that is such good shape that I have had to turn down offers from youngish girls, 20-24 because I worried about what society may think of me. The same society that leaves a lot of girls in their late 20's getting divorced, and the same society that frowns on girls dating younger guys. (Most girls in their late 30's don't look at me as they THINK I am younger). Why should I let society stop me having a relationship with another consenting adult. Thanks for your opinions.


Most Helpful Guy

  • I know a 45 year old guy engaged to a 25 year old girl, so I'd say it's okay.

    • Why you got voted down for knowing someone - well, know I now what I am up against if I do. Judgemental people. That's who. I'll vote you up, for knowing someone! ha ha.

    • They voted him down because his reaction isn't 'eww'.

    • True!

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 5

  • Acting immature for your age is unattractive.

    If age truly didn't matter you wouldn't put act about 20.

    Anyways men dating women 10 - 20 years younger when 30/40 has been around forever.

    It all depends on the girl. If she prefers older guys and is more mature than her age. But since you're immature I guess it's okay for her to act her age since you're at the same level as someone a decade younger.

    Older guys have an edge in the financial security & settling down that most young guys don't.

    • You have a very negative view on how 20 year olds think. Think of all the good things that 20 year olds have. Hope, aspirations, dreams, the ability to still marvel at things, to be fun, daring and sometimes a little silly. I don't act about 20, I probably still am. If that is immature of me, so be it. I still love living. And I'm not afraid to show it. I'll hang my boots up when I'm good an ready, not when the number on my back tells me too. :)

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    • You know something, I totally understand where you are coming from. I sincerely do. I've gone through these arguments in my head myself. My question really focused on the responses of people. I see that some people don't mind, but others it really gets to. I'm not out to take advantage (otherwise I wouldn't be asking the question!), but at least I am aware that some people will disaprove, and I guess it's not my place to challenge them. Well, anyway, were both keen, so, let's give it a go.

    • Yay! You seem it.

      As long as you don't have the mindset that a lot of people have that youth = good things & age = bad things because only young people can be full of life dating younger shouldn't be a problem.

      I don't date older men because those I encountered saw me as a #. Why get involved when I will just become too old for them.

      Dating younger is about it being legal & she being more mentally & emotionally mature than her age.

      Good luck!

      Don't say you act 20 but that you're lively.

  • Yes.

  • Probably 21 years of age is a better age to date someone if you are a few years older because 21 is when a person is officially an adult and not 20 years.

    • Actually, it's 18 here in the UK.

    • Show All
    • In the UK you're officially and adult at 18. You can get married. Own a house. Drive a car. Join the army. Buy booze and f**s. I have no idea where you're getting the age of 21 from. I assure you the legal definition of an adult in the uk is 18.

    • A person is classified as a youth even up to the age of 25 years. You'll find that I am correct! Anyway I am not going to debate who is right and who is wrong. My answer to your question is that there is nothing wrong with dating a person in there early 20s so as long as you are both adults. If it was a child adult relationship then yes it is a problem a serious problem

  • 38, you should be with late 20's at the youngest, but really date someone over 30

    • I don't look that much over 30. And girls don't seem to like guys who are either younger than them or *shock* LOOK younger than them. A lot of girls in their late 20's are either married or in the process of getting divorced (as sad as that is). I'm going to give it a go hun, I've turned down a few young girls (21, 23, etc) because of what I fear society will think of me. But what business is really of theirs if two people are happy together?

    • that's true. but I'm just thinking you 2 might not be on the same page in life. I mean, I'm assuming you'll looking for someone to settle down with and have a family. while someone in their early 20's probably doesn't want that. that's the only reason why a huge age gap wouldn't work

  • If it's just for dating you aren't too old but if it goes farther like marriage than yeah you might be a little too old .

    • Of course, I know it can only be a brief attraction. I'm kind of fine with that.

What Guys Said 2

  • Age gap isn't the problem but.. ya.. I dunno. It can work out if both are cool with it. It'll probably fail though. Especially if you're not maturing mentally as fast as her lol.

    • Well, it wouldn't be the first 20 year old I have turned down this year. But it may be the last. I'm gonna for it. She seems keen enough. I've not lied about anything to her. Especially my age. If she is cool with that, I am cool with that. Moaning minnies be damned. I'm so surprised that 20 year olds are even interested in me. Oh well, make the most of it eh! :)

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    • What bugs me is when people say by acting younger you're somehow immature? That says to me that those people who think that must think that people younger than them are all immature. How arrogant!

    • Well I guess it depends how you act in terms of acting younger, I think. If like, being optimistic, active, etc? Hell no. If acting like a party drunken frat boy? Ya that's immature :P

  • Only if you're male. If you were female, you'd be celebrated.

    • eh?

    • What did you find confusing?

    • Why a female would be celebrated?

      Are we men really that emasculated?

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