I started dating other girls, am I in the wrong?

I've been dating this girl for a few months (yes we were having sex) but after the first couple months she just seemed to settle down and be bored with me. I plan all the dates, pretty much do everything and she puts in no effort. So I just quit trying with her, started going for other girls & when she asked why I told her it was obvious she wasn't interested in me so I'm not wasting any more time.

I haven't really dated for about four years now (just went to bars, partied and got laid) and I feel a little out of touch. Is this just how women are when they get near 30 or was it that she's just bored with me but didn't want me to leave?


Yeah I thought of that so for the past 3-4 weeks before I quit with her I tried to get in situations where she'd be the boss or whatever and it didn't work. She just didn't have any initiative to be with me.


Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 1

  • OK...let me tell you how it is. It's not that all girls close to or in their 30s act this way or as you have interpreted. The fact that she asked you why, is evidence that she was still interested in you. Since the history of your relationship involved you making the plans, she probably assumed this is how you(Mr. Anonymous) approach relationships. Regardless if it's actually true, she felt that you like leading and you like it when the girl takes the submissive role.

    so, you're not in the wrong, but if you are truly interested keep in contact with her and put yourselves in situations where she has to actually make a decision as to where and when your next date will occur. It can be as simple as..."Hey, I always make the plans, how about you making the plans this time."

    Kudos to you getting yourself out there after four years, but nowadays relationships require good communication from both involved parties. I was in your position, but am a girl. Good luck.


What Guys Said 1

  • In my experience, that's the girl, not a generic stereotype that applies to girls in their late 20's.

    She might have made the mistake of thinking that she was at the age where you eventually settle down and marry the one your with, and got "married wife" syndrome even before the ring was on her finger. But it's not very likely.

    It's more likely she just wasn't into you, but didn't want to be single, or her sex drive and lethargy was the by-product of something else, like depression. There's no way for us to be sure.

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