Does self improvement cost money? If it does, is it considered a red flag for dating?

[anexi]

Okay well there are a lot of ways that "self improvement" can be considered. If you are focusing 100% on improving your looks, that can be problematic. If you are focusing on becoming healthier, you will have to spend some money on healthy food and probably a gym membership. Making sure that you own good quality clothes is important, so that you aren't dressed in rags all the time. However, if you're spending ALL of your money on clothes or makeup then you probably are doing something wrong. Additionally, there are more ways to improve than just physically. Mental and emotional improvement are vastly important. Investing in educational books is never a bad thing, but there are a lot of free resources too. Public libraries offer great resources, and it's very unlikely that you actually have to spend money at them. However, if you need a therapist to help teach you emotional maturity then that is not a bad thing, even though it can be expensive.

Ultimately, being frivolous is problematic but you will have to spend SOME money on yourself in order to improve yourself. Personally, I always encourage exploring free or cheaper options first. Thrift stores can have excellent finds for clothes, public libraries or the internet can be great for research, choosing to jog in your local park is cheaper than a gym membership. But the free options just won't take you all the way.

[Thatasianlove16]

It’s not exactly a red flag, it’s just a preference of how high maintenance someone can be. Which some people do less maintenance than others so that doesn’t really go well for some relationships but other than that it’s not a red flag it’s just either oh this person doesn’t take care of them self as much or this person takes too much time on their appearance I would like to have more of a stimulant Conversation. Not saying that people who are high maintenance can’t have conversations or smart ones at that it’s just that the balance is going to be a little bit different compared to someone that doesn’t care too much about their appearance and sometimes some people just don’t even wanna talk about appearance they want to talk about other things. Or let’s see if someone wants to go to the gym all the time and they were seeing someone that liked Reading books and writing it may work out but they will have less in common. In that might just be a big enough of a dealbreaker but regardless it’s not as bad thing it’s just how things are

[AdithyaR]

Personally I feel like there's two situations where spending money to look good is a red flag.
Generally it's good, maybe you bought new clothes to change your look or you starting eating more healthy, or maybe you joined a new class. Anything that helps you and makes you happy is good.

It's only a problem where it's only done to hide your insecurity and you're not actually improving yourself beyond a superficial level. Second it's also a red flag if they're spending recklessly and making bad financial decisions.

[Texaskid1]

No.

Self improvement is to be applauded. The only people that get their panties into a pink bunch when they see someone else improve themselves are envious losers.

[Jean-Marie_Céline]

Simply said, lack of confidence on the part of those who consider it a "red flag".
This is the society that encourages personal selfishness as long as it doesn't hurt people's feelings.
And getting a step forward hurts many feelings.

I just look at the answers I get here - when I'm doing badly or going through some misfortune, I get 50+ answers. When things are going well and I'm fixing my situation, it's barely 10 answers.
People simply love Schadenfreude.

[TessCasie]

It’s a red flag for those who do not wish to stay fit as you. In my personal opinion when I really spent money to look good and wear good quality clothes that suit me. I didn’t like if the guy I’m dating or any pursuer isn’t as fit or well dressed cause I would feel like “ I am putting so much effort to look good why should I go for less”

I don’t know how many of y’all will feel on this. Opinions accepted. Do you think I am wrong?

[iseekpinetrees]

No not a red flag the only real red flag is if there's something mentally wrong with them or drugs usually

[CYNICAL_CRYPTIC]

What about someone investing in themselves financially is a red flag or something
that doesn’t sit comfortably with your spirit?

[micheal727jovanie]

Yes it does you have to work hard to have nice things. Its not a red flag. The Red flags are how he treats you and others.

[Alyssa11]

What’s wrong with financially investing in yourself? To me it’s a problem when the persons become shallow. Otherwise I can’t see anything wrong with it.

[genericname85]

it takes time and time is money xD so there you go.

[strraku]

bcoz they start focusing on themselves more thn their partner

[Coolmanxl]

Not red flag for dating. You can't live without money