Almost every woman who gets married is marrying her "back up man". They all want the giga-chad but they can't hold on to him.
Could well be, yeah.
Wouldn’t you want a dude to just look at you and just say I wanna take her seriously right off the get-go sometimes it doesn’t start like that are you see some guys were like OK I wanna get to know her she seems cool oh wait feelings. And that’s how sometimes rebounds go but if you’re already a side piece they really don’t see your worth and they rarely ever do
There are when you see some guys^
Of course, never said I didn’t. It’s not a personal discussion, just sharing thoughts and views in general.
Yeah I’m not saying that you’re arguing with it I’m just saying like it just doesn’t look good no matter what unless someone’s OK with being worked on as that usually there delusional and think that it’s going to get farther but it really ever does
I mean yeah that can often be the case, love does make people do some crazy things sometimes. But although not common, I do think there are some legitimate reasons where it can work out too.
But the danger is everyone thinks they could be that one. It’s always best to remain objective.
Exactly it’s because everyone thinks that they can be the one in the end up wasting their time
Well some do. I’m just saying the ones that don’t need to work on being objective. I’m not saying that’s always easy though, just that it’s benefit them if they tried.
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Yeah very true. So the former could be a write off, while the latter could pan out.
I don’t need advice on what to do since I’m confident in my capabilities. I’m simply just curious about better understanding other people’s reasons and experiences around back up options.
For example, I used to (unintentionally I suppose) have back up plans when I was younger because rejection and vulnerability was harder to deal with then, so a back up plan was a distraction from that pain to sweeten the blow of possible rejection. But as an adult I feel better equipped to deal with it all now so I don’t feel I need a back up plan. I don’t let myself get involved too much too soon with anyone until it’s had some time to feel genuinely right. I wouldn’t even consider marriage still until at least after 3 years (it always baffles me a little when I see people getting married sooner).
It’s interesting that you say they never work out though. I presume that’s just in your experience because I have a feeling that some may somewhere, hence the question. I think it would depend on dynamics. But I agree for the most part it’s probably more unlikely to work.
More sexual partners in her past.
Ahh okay. Is that really the case? I don’t know.
I imagine that rarely happens since girls are always on the look out with that. It’s always sensed but some just choose to ignore it.
Obviously. The question is why.
because evolution and society and behavioral psychology and evolutionary psychology. because what you or society see as morally "right" isn't necessarily what's favored by the universe. I'm not exactly in the best mood³ this isn't meant to be rudeIf you load a bullet and give someone the gun they would use it
Right, time out for you then mr. Lol. To your last question I’d say no because no normal person goes around shooting others for the sake of nothing simply because they’re holding a loaded gun.
Yeah I can see that being a motivating factor. I’m not sure that’s always the case though? Or is it?
No not always.
What other reasons do you see?
Just being friends I guess.
Yeah I’d do this too tbh, I’m good with being friends. But some guys try for more and that’s a line that I won’t cross personally then they get all weird when they wonder why you don’t want more.
Then stick with being his friend.
I do, one doesn’t mind and the other has gone quiet lol.