Guys think girls want assholes right?

Question

Well they don't, let me explain. Girls just want to take things slow (I know, shock horror!) That’s a guys thing right not girls? Wrong! Girls do want to be working towards a relationship but they don’t want to rush it, they just want the security from guys to know that they also want the same thing in time, girls just don’t want it straight off the bat because it’s terrifying for the majority of them, they want it but it’s scary so they need to approach it slowly. So really despite all this confusion that society would have you believe, we’re basically just the same as you guys! If only people would communicate instead of fall for all this rubbish we hear instead!

Answer 1

guesswhoseback

Xper 5

Talk is cheap. I really wish what you are saying is true but it’s not. The true acid test is who we seeing women going home with vs those they friendzone.

Now to be fair I know not all women are like this. I’ve come across a small minority of them who have the insight to see how things will end despite the asshole being seemingly attractive given his aggressiveness. They know they it will end badly. Just because someone seems hard to get and a challenge doesn’t mean their worth it.

But too many women embrace their impulses and emotions and dive head first into the deep dark pit of self destruction. If they want to do this, then go ahead. Attraction isn’t a choice but self respect is.

Its not seeing women fall for assholes is what pisses me off. Yes it sucks and disgusting that since I treated them kindly and like a human being I’m “less of challenge” to them and I get passed up.

But what makes me want to vomit is how society gives them comfort and a shoulder to cry on for their own shitty decisions.

If you pet a snake don’t be surprised when it bites you no matter how pretty and color the scales look on it. Most of the time the writing is on the wall with this bullshit but instead you embrace your emotions.

React

2 People

Asker

1 y
You’re right, talk is cheap. But I just don’t see what you say reflected much in reality tbh.
guesswhoseback

1 y
As someone who has been friendzoned more than once in past I have a radically different experience on this.

This doesn’t happen nowadays because I’ve built up radar for it. One of the advantages of getting older. I actually called a girl out on this bullshit 6 months ago and cut her off completely. Grown ass woman a year older than me too. Just ridiculous.
Asker

1 y
Just because someone isn’t interested in you doesn’t mean they just go for assholes mate.
Show All Show Less
guesswhoseback

1 y
Oh I know I’m not entitled to anything from anyone. No matter how I approached her, how I think we match up, etc. the choice is ultimately hers. Attraction isn’t a choice. As a mature man I get that (and I’ve turned women down before as well)

But it’s just how women act all confident about assuming the friendzone is okay that disgusts me the most. Single hetero men are not going to seek out women to “just be friends with”. They might become friends with women via happenstance (at work, school, activities).

But if a man approaches you for a conversation and asks for your number he’s not doing it to “just be friends”. He’s doing it because it’s his job if he wants to date and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that if he is polite about it.

But quit playing dumb. Just quit it. If your not interested just kindly yet directly say so. It shows that you respect him and his efforts. Mature men can handle the truth and will bow out gracefully.
Asker

1 y
I get that people should be upfront as that would be frustrating. (men do this too, it’s not just women!) But maybe they feel they are telling you without trying to be rude and it could just be a misunderstanding. Have you ever asked anyone outright to just tell you when you aren’t sure? That bit is on you too if you feel you’re not getting what you want. But I don’t agree that offering to be friends with someone is wrong, and I also doubt women intend to insult by doing this either. Tell me, why is it such an insult to you? Do you not like having female friends, who may even introduce you to some of their friends who you could be more compatible with. Also, I’m of the strong belief that if you can’t even be friends then a relationship even wouldn’t work anyway. So maybe they’ve just eradicated someone who isn’t that invested in anything real with them too. There are so many possible angles to this.
Asker

1 y
Ignore the random words etc, I’m busy multitasking and my keypad seems to have a mind of its own.
guesswhoseback

1 y
About 2 years ago I was in a casual relationship with a woman who lived in another state I frequented. We hooked up on the first date and went on 4 more dates afterwards. It was quite obvious from the start that we weren’t going to get serious. We didn’t talk much on the phone or text unless it was to meet up.

Well on the second date we got food and went for a scenic walk. Then inexplicably her demeanor changed and she got quiet. When we got back got to place we were staying at we started to make out but she stopped. She told me we walked next to her ex fiancé’s house and he cheated on her during the engagement. She started to cry. She is an Asian woman and crying is looked down upon in there culture. I said I had went through a horrible experience with my ex too. She then asked “can we just be friends” and then I got really pissed off. Very angry. I told her “I do not do the friendzone. No and fuck no”. I made the abundantly clear.

We ended up messing around anyway. I went down on her and afterwards I said “you feel better?” She laughed and said “fuck yeah!”

So right before Christmas I was considering asking her if we would like to give it a shot (relationship). I was going to ask her to my company Christmas party.
guesswhoseback

1 y
I texted her and she responded “Joey we can’t do this anymore. I would like to ask you to be friends but I know you said you hated that...”. She took 24 hours to respond to my text.

Funny thing was I was going to ask her to my company Christmas party and consider making it more serious in my next text before she said that. I hoped and hope and thought “maybe she just sees me as fuck boy and doesn’t realize I actually wanted more”. But my gut was telling me otherwise. I asked her to meet up to chat about it. We got a glass of wine at a restaurant (which I was paying for).

She said she didn’t have a boyfriend but was dating other people. That was no surprise. I told her I wasn’t sure about her at first but I was growing to like her. I told her I was planning on inviting her to my company Christmas party. But she said something really nasty. She said “if I like someone I’ll tell them”. I responded with “you never said that to me”. We got real quiet. She also complained about his busy she was at her job. Women who friendzone guys always complain about their life and how busy they are. She inadvertently said her job was calling her when she was “busy” (she was on a date with another guy). She kept bitching about things like I’m one of one of her gfs. It’s was disrespectful.

I finally told her. Hey let’s forget that I ever brought up my feelings. Just reach out to me if you ever want to hang out again (hook up). She said that probably would never happen then I said “then it will never happen”. However we had a long kiss on the lips goodbye. Never talked to her since.
guesswhoseback

1 y
Bottom line is this. She wanted to get me out of the picture to pursue someone else. Alright that sucks but it’s her choice. I can accept that. But what I can NOT accept is her being so fucking confident that I’m okay with just being friends. Especially when I explicitly told her I don’t do that. I do NOT care about her past heartbreak. I do NOT care about how “busy” she is with other guys. I’m a straight man looking to date. I’m not her fucking gay male
counselor.

The reason she felt so confident about me being friends comes down to one thing and one thing only: me being too nice.

Now at least I can say I got laid. I also didn’t accept her bullshit (although I was I called her out on it more harshly). But just the fact she is CONFIDENT that I would be okay being her beta male orbiter is what is so insulting. And again it comes down to me being too nice.
Asker

1 y
No offence did but you sound like you have issues and I’m not your therapist. You’d do well to talk to one though tbh if you’re getting pissed off over that and expect her to not cry (a completely normal human emotion regardless of “culture” that is oppressive).
Asker

1 y
*dude
Asker

1 y
I think she was polite offering you friendship in all honesty because I would have gladly told someone like that to F off personally.
Asker

1 y
And ironically you’ve just proven my point!! Girls don’t like assholes!! So thanks.
guesswhoseback

1 y
Nah I treated her very well the whole time we dated. But I’m not going to stick my neck out and do favors for her so she can turn around and complain about other guys she’s dating and/or been sexual with.
guesswhoseback

1 y
Also it’s not her crying and expressing emotion about the heartbreak that made me upset. I’m actually a very caring person.

It’s her immediately afterward asking if “we can just be friends”. Like I’m one her girlfriends.

No. I’m a MAN. I was a single MAN looking to date. I open minded go hear about your problems. But I’m also looking to date. Respect that and don’t assume otherwise.
guesswhoseback

1 y
You and I are touching on a major fundamental disconnect between genders here. Don’t be quick to label me and please hear me out. This is one of the top if not the #1 problem men have in dating.
Asker

1 y
Okay so do you have trouble getting girls? Because I can’t see men with options reacting this way, in fact I’ve never known a guy act this way in my experience.
Asker

1 y
And you say you’re caring, but getting pissed off at that also isn’t caring. So you now that old saying about actions speak louder than words. Things have to be proved and that’s the only way trust is earned.
Asker

1 y
*know
guesswhoseback

1 y
It’s complicated. I don’t feel entitled to relationships, sex, etc. I’ve been in long term relationships.

What I’m angry about comes down to respect. Assuming a “nice guy” is okay with being platonic friends after he made it clear he’s not is very insulting. Women assume there since he’s nice when will go along with it. I’ve wise up to that crap. There is absolutely zero reason for me to be in that situation. Seriously what does her “friendship” do for me besides gracing me with her presence? Do you have any idea how agonizing and insulting it is to hear her complain or ask for advice about other guys when she knows I’m interested?

As for the sex part. Believe it or not I actually want to wait on that too. Honestly I really do. But I feel like I have to make a move to show where I stand. If I don’t make a move then she will see my kindness/chivalry as weakness and assume I’m okay with being platonic.

Bottom line is men and women can be friendly but not friends. The only time I’ll ever be “best friends”with a woman will be the girl I’m married to. That’s it.

Answer 2

Asker

You’re right, talk is cheap. But I just don’t see what you say reflected much in reality tbh.

Answer 3

guesswhoseback

As someone who has been friendzoned more than once in past I have a radically different experience on this.

This doesn’t happen nowadays because I’ve built up radar for it. One of the advantages of getting older. I actually called a girl out on this bullshit 6 months ago and cut her off completely. Grown ass woman a year older than me too. Just ridiculous.

Answer 4

Asker

Just because someone isn’t interested in you doesn’t mean they just go for assholes mate.

Answer 5

guesswhoseback

Oh I know I’m not entitled to anything from anyone. No matter how I approached her, how I think we match up, etc. the choice is ultimately hers. Attraction isn’t a choice. As a mature man I get that (and I’ve turned women down before as well)

But it’s just how women act all confident about assuming the friendzone is okay that disgusts me the most. Single hetero men are not going to seek out women to “just be friends with”. They might become friends with women via happenstance (at work, school, activities).

But if a man approaches you for a conversation and asks for your number he’s not doing it to “just be friends”. He’s doing it because it’s his job if he wants to date and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that if he is polite about it.

But quit playing dumb. Just quit it. If your not interested just kindly yet directly say so. It shows that you respect him and his efforts. Mature men can handle the truth and will bow out gracefully.

Answer 6

Asker

I get that people should be upfront as that would be frustrating. (men do this too, it’s not just women!) But maybe they feel they are telling you without trying to be rude and it could just be a misunderstanding. Have you ever asked anyone outright to just tell you when you aren’t sure? That bit is on you too if you feel you’re not getting what you want. But I don’t agree that offering to be friends with someone is wrong, and I also doubt women intend to insult by doing this either. Tell me, why is it such an insult to you? Do you not like having female friends, who may even introduce you to some of their friends who you could be more compatible with. Also, I’m of the strong belief that if you can’t even be friends then a relationship even wouldn’t work anyway. So maybe they’ve just eradicated someone who isn’t that invested in anything real with them too. There are so many possible angles to this.

Answer 7

Asker

Ignore the random words etc, I’m busy multitasking and my keypad seems to have a mind of its own.

Answer 8

guesswhoseback

About 2 years ago I was in a casual relationship with a woman who lived in another state I frequented. We hooked up on the first date and went on 4 more dates afterwards. It was quite obvious from the start that we weren’t going to get serious. We didn’t talk much on the phone or text unless it was to meet up.

Well on the second date we got food and went for a scenic walk. Then inexplicably her demeanor changed and she got quiet. When we got back got to place we were staying at we started to make out but she stopped. She told me we walked next to her ex fiancé’s house and he cheated on her during the engagement. She started to cry. She is an Asian woman and crying is looked down upon in there culture. I said I had went through a horrible experience with my ex too. She then asked “can we just be friends” and then I got really pissed off. Very angry. I told her “I do not do the friendzone. No and fuck no”. I made the abundantly clear.

We ended up messing around anyway. I went down on her and afterwards I said “you feel better?” She laughed and said “fuck yeah!”

So right before Christmas I was considering asking her if we would like to give it a shot (relationship). I was going to ask her to my company Christmas party.

Answer 9

guesswhoseback

I texted her and she responded “Joey we can’t do this anymore. I would like to ask you to be friends but I know you said you hated that...”. She took 24 hours to respond to my text.

Funny thing was I was going to ask her to my company Christmas party and consider making it more serious in my next text before she said that. I hoped and hope and thought “maybe she just sees me as fuck boy and doesn’t realize I actually wanted more”. But my gut was telling me otherwise. I asked her to meet up to chat about it. We got a glass of wine at a restaurant (which I was paying for).

She said she didn’t have a boyfriend but was dating other people. That was no surprise. I told her I wasn’t sure about her at first but I was growing to like her. I told her I was planning on inviting her to my company Christmas party. But she said something really nasty. She said “if I like someone I’ll tell them”. I responded with “you never said that to me”. We got real quiet. She also complained about his busy she was at her job. Women who friendzone guys always complain about their life and how busy they are. She inadvertently said her job was calling her when she was “busy” (she was on a date with another guy). She kept bitching about things like I’m one of one of her gfs. It’s was disrespectful.

I finally told her. Hey let’s forget that I ever brought up my feelings. Just reach out to me if you ever want to hang out again (hook up). She said that probably would never happen then I said “then it will never happen”. However we had a long kiss on the lips goodbye. Never talked to her since.

Answer 10

guesswhoseback

Bottom line is this. She wanted to get me out of the picture to pursue someone else. Alright that sucks but it’s her choice. I can accept that. But what I can NOT accept is her being so fucking confident that I’m okay with just being friends. Especially when I explicitly told her I don’t do that. I do NOT care about her past heartbreak. I do NOT care about how “busy” she is with other guys. I’m a straight man looking to date. I’m not her fucking gay male
counselor.

The reason she felt so confident about me being friends comes down to one thing and one thing only: me being too nice.

Now at least I can say I got laid. I also didn’t accept her bullshit (although I was I called her out on it more harshly). But just the fact she is CONFIDENT that I would be okay being her beta male orbiter is what is so insulting. And again it comes down to me being too nice.

Answer 11

Asker

No offence did but you sound like you have issues and I’m not your therapist. You’d do well to talk to one though tbh if you’re getting pissed off over that and expect her to not cry (a completely normal human emotion regardless of “culture” that is oppressive).

Answer 12

Asker

*dude

Answer 13

Asker

I think she was polite offering you friendship in all honesty because I would have gladly told someone like that to F off personally.

Answer 14

Asker

And ironically you’ve just proven my point!! Girls don’t like assholes!! So thanks.

Answer 15

guesswhoseback

Nah I treated her very well the whole time we dated. But I’m not going to stick my neck out and do favors for her so she can turn around and complain about other guys she’s dating and/or been sexual with.

Answer 16

guesswhoseback

Also it’s not her crying and expressing emotion about the heartbreak that made me upset. I’m actually a very caring person.

It’s her immediately afterward asking if “we can just be friends”. Like I’m one her girlfriends.

No. I’m a MAN. I was a single MAN looking to date. I open minded go hear about your problems. But I’m also looking to date. Respect that and don’t assume otherwise.

Answer 17

guesswhoseback

You and I are touching on a major fundamental disconnect between genders here. Don’t be quick to label me and please hear me out. This is one of the top if not the #1 problem men have in dating.

Answer 18

Asker

Okay so do you have trouble getting girls? Because I can’t see men with options reacting this way, in fact I’ve never known a guy act this way in my experience.

Answer 19

Asker

And you say you’re caring, but getting pissed off at that also isn’t caring. So you now that old saying about actions speak louder than words. Things have to be proved and that’s the only way trust is earned.

Answer 20

Asker

*know

Answer 21

guesswhoseback

It’s complicated. I don’t feel entitled to relationships, sex, etc. I’ve been in long term relationships.

What I’m angry about comes down to respect. Assuming a “nice guy” is okay with being platonic friends after he made it clear he’s not is very insulting. Women assume there since he’s nice when will go along with it. I’ve wise up to that crap. There is absolutely zero reason for me to be in that situation. Seriously what does her “friendship” do for me besides gracing me with her presence? Do you have any idea how agonizing and insulting it is to hear her complain or ask for advice about other guys when she knows I’m interested?

As for the sex part. Believe it or not I actually want to wait on that too. Honestly I really do. But I feel like I have to make a move to show where I stand. If I don’t make a move then she will see my kindness/chivalry as weakness and assume I’m okay with being platonic.

Bottom line is men and women can be friendly but not friends. The only time I’ll ever be “best friends”with a woman will be the girl I’m married to. That’s it.

Answer 22

Novacane | 204 opinions shared on Dating topic.

Xper 7

It's not that we think women want assholes, its that women literally show us that they want assholes, there would be many times that women desire those that don't give them attention or treat them like less. It's obvious that nobody wants an asshole person but many times it's obvious which guys are the assholes and compared to the other and somehow women choose those.

But you are right simply communicating better would make everything much better, but sadly people seem to lack that.

React

1 Person

Asker

1 y
I don’t think it’s that simple. A lot of the time is the people who plays some slight game that do well, it does help somewhat. But an actual asshole doesn’t win, nobody cares for that.
Novacane

1 y
I agree, of course, nothing will ever be simple. And yes there are people that are assholes and act nice just to get what they want sadly that's inevitable. And yes in the long run assholes don't win, but date one asshole, and women will blame all men for that one person, so somehow they always come out on top, until they find someone who can deal with their level of assholeness.
Asker

1 y
No they don’t! Jesus Christ. Some do. Look at the end of the day if you’re all about blaming others there’s no discussion here.

Answer 23

Asker

I don’t think it’s that simple. A lot of the time is the people who plays some slight game that do well, it does help somewhat. But an actual asshole doesn’t win, nobody cares for that.

Answer 24

Novacane

I agree, of course, nothing will ever be simple. And yes there are people that are assholes and act nice just to get what they want sadly that's inevitable. And yes in the long run assholes don't win, but date one asshole, and women will blame all men for that one person, so somehow they always come out on top, until they find someone who can deal with their level of assholeness.

Answer 25

Asker

No they don’t! Jesus Christ. Some do. Look at the end of the day if you’re all about blaming others there’s no discussion here.

Answer 26

LocalArsonist

Xper 2

If only guys would actually put effort into talking to girls 😔 They think all girls are into fuckboys these days

React

1 Person

Asker

1 y
I know

Answer 27

Asker

I know

Answer 28

WesBrewer | 1.3K opinions shared on Dating topic.

Yoda

If I never talked to girls I would think they want jerks, but I have a lot of friend girls so I know that they don't.

React

1 Person

Asker

1 y
Yeah exactly 🙂

Answer 29

Asker

Yeah exactly 🙂

Answer 30

iFarted | 1.8K opinions shared on Dating topic.

Guru

For whatever weird reason some think all girls want a "Chad Thundercock" super alphamale bro.

React

1 Person

spartan55

1 y
"Chad Thundercock" 😂 😂 😂 😂
Asker

1 y
Do all males want models?
Asker

1 y
Models with big boobs even?
Show All Show Less
iFarted

1 y
No, if she has an attractive face and a nice personality then idc about her body as long as she's healthy looking.

Answer 31

spartan55

"Chad Thundercock" 😂 😂 😂 😂

Answer 32

Asker

Do all males want models?

Answer 33

Asker

Models with big boobs even?

Answer 34

iFarted

No, if she has an attractive face and a nice personality then idc about her body as long as she's healthy looking.

Answer 35

winterfox10

Master

Communicate what you actually want in a relationship? Perish the thought

React

2 People

Answer 36

Aus15688 | 59 opinions shared on Dating topic.

Xper 6

I want to take it slow too! I always say no sex for the first 6+ months at least maybe longer. I want to get to know the girl first.

React

1 Person

Answer 37

Tea-Spaghetti

Explorer

Wow ok thanks 👍

React

1 Person

Asker

1 y
You’re welcome! 😊

Answer 38

Asker

You’re welcome! 😊

Answer 39

jimmy2 | 2K opinions shared on Dating topic.

Guru

You go girl

React

1 Person

Asker

1 y
Ahh thank you!
jimmy2

1 y
Welcome dear
jimmy2

1 y
I saw a 18 year old boy here ask uow do i get 6he taste lit of my mouth after he licked her butt lol

Answer 40

Asker

Ahh thank you!

Answer 41

jimmy2

Welcome dear

Answer 42

jimmy2

I saw a 18 year old boy here ask uow do i get 6he taste lit of my mouth after he licked her butt lol

Guys think girls want assholes right?

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