What holds you back from finding THE ONE?

Question

Answer 1

Cynicaldreamer | 3K opinions shared on Dating topic.

Influencer

He is an unicorn that does not exist.

I mean how hard is it to find a guy that's: geeky, intelligent, a gamer, likes to exercise and stay in shape, yet eat lots of tasty food. Is that so much to ask? Apparently so :|

Joking aside, what's holding me back? Myself. I no longer have the interest to try and pursue a relationship due to years of bad luck, chasing after the wrong guys, and having my self esteem and confidence shattered by being rejected by guys thinking I'm not attractive or girlfriend material- and no, I'm not holding that against all men before anyone goes there!

I'm just... done. At least for now.
I haven't found a reason to want to try dating again. And some of you on here, after reading about the drama and nonsense y'all face dating and on dating apps? No, I'm good. Several people on here reminded me why it's easier to stay single!

Not to mention, I've been single over a decade now. I think I've been single 13 or 14 years now. Most people think that's hard, but honestly I've been alone for now long it's hard to even picture sharing my life with another person anymore.
Do y'all know how awesome it is to be able to just: eat, sleep, play video games, travel, stay up late, and do what I want, when I want, without worrying about anyone else unless I choose to? Yes, that might sound selfish, but that's a perk of being single: I'm only responsible for myself and no one else. You don't always get that luxury in a relationship.

If I ever find "the one," he's certain in for a handful: dealing with me! LOL

Avicenna

2 mo
LOL, other than gaming, I’m your unicorn. But I understand what you’re saying.
coachTanthony

2 mo
So you are saying to the UNIVERSE No thanks. No wonder I have not been successful in manifesting someone for you! You have your world of warcraft shield up block them... (face palm) ha
coachTanthony

2 mo
@Avicenna Ha Ha Ha you kill me dude.
Show All Show Less
Cynicaldreamer

2 mo
@coachTanthony Noo, don't go blaming me! You're over there slacking mister, "Oh you're going to meet your unicorn by the end of the year!" Yeah, I remembered... still no unicorn sir.

Okay, don't laugh but I play a warrior in Warcraft. Technically they do use shields so-
(I'm such a geek, don't judge me!)
YanTeng

2 mo
To be fair... I don't know if you believe in there being parallel universes or whatnot but "the one" might not even exist in this timeline. If they did, what are the chances that you're born within the same time period?

The person who would have been "the one" for you might have been born 50 years ago, or something. A bit weird to think about
Avicenna

2 mo
Coach, I think she’d enjoy a date. Dates are usually fun.
Aakash_Hangargi

2 mo
Being single is easy lol, blending with people is tough and tolerating it's exhausting but it's also lovely.

Lol stop hunting unicorns and settle for horses without horns 😂🤘👰 find a good at Will person and modify him as per your wish that's what all girls do change the man 😂😂😂
Aakash_Hangargi

2 mo
Offcourse with love
Cynicaldreamer

2 mo
@Aakash_Hangargi "Lol stop hunting unicorns and settle for horses without horns 🤘 find a good at Will person and modify him as per your wish that's what all girls do change the man"
Now you know I like you, but I have to disagree with you here, or rather your statement. I refuse to be one of those women that tries to change a man to make him into what I want him to be! I mean sure, I could find a horse and super glue a horn on him, but would he be what I wanted? NO.

I rather find that elusive unicorn because he's authentic and not changing himself to make me happy, and vice versa. If that means being single, then I guess I'm going to be single... for a very long time, LOL

@YanTeng You know I have thought of that! I have. Who's to say the right person for me isn't born yet, or already existed and we missed each other. I tell you, sometimes life is such a conspiracy...
Aakash_Hangargi

2 mo
Yup we both will be single then it's pact 😂
tjbyrd39

2 mo
Very well put. I agree 100%. Plus monogamy is just fairy tail told that kids forget to forget. So when they become adults it's ingrained in their head to pursue such a silly and useless goal. I'm not saying I'm a woman-hater because I absolutely adore women. I think they're all great in their own ways. And all should feel special and needed but not by just one man.
YanTeng

2 mo
@Cynicaldreamer yeah, I think fate can be cruel
DeeToPlay

2 mo
The only thing that I have in the area of a critique of your statement is about the comment on self esteem. Your self esteem should be based on how you feel about you and not another person. How you feel about you. This may seem easy to many but I understand how that may seem simplified but I realized some time ago that I would not be prepared for a healthy relationship with no confidence in myself, seeking my worth through others especially a romantic partner is doomed to failure from the start. As for the attraction to have my forever partner in my life, I know that after being basically single since 2006 when my 20+ year marriage came to an abrupt ending I'm more than ready to enjoy the stability within that I feel internally with a commitment to share the responsibility for assisting someone else's happiness and comfort. I seem to thrive more successfully in life. I imagine I'm wired that way because of the fact that I was basically brought up by men. My dad and my grandfather were the largest influences in my world as a child and young man. My father still holds that position.
Cynicaldreamer

2 mo
@DeeToPlay Thank you for your feedback sir. I have always had terrible self esteem, even now. It's an issue I will definitely have to work on before I even consider myself ready for a relationship again.

While I know I shouldn't let others influence my self esteem, it's hard. Growing up, I was the "ugly ducking." Guys made it clear I wasn't attractive to them, at least in a romantic sense, so of course that didn't help my self esteem either.

Obviously, as I got older, I taught not to let matters like that get to me, but the damage from my younger years left me a bit scarred. That's why I'm constantly working on improving myself: not for others, but for myself, so I can feel better about myself and boost my self esteem.

Answer 2

Avicenna

LOL, other than gaming, I’m your unicorn. But I understand what you’re saying.

Answer 3

coachTanthony

So you are saying to the UNIVERSE No thanks. No wonder I have not been successful in manifesting someone for you! You have your world of warcraft shield up block them... (face palm) ha

Answer 4

coachTanthony

@Avicenna Ha Ha Ha you kill me dude.

Answer 5

Cynicaldreamer

@coachTanthony Noo, don't go blaming me! You're over there slacking mister, "Oh you're going to meet your unicorn by the end of the year!" Yeah, I remembered... still no unicorn sir.

Okay, don't laugh but I play a warrior in Warcraft. Technically they do use shields so-
(I'm such a geek, don't judge me!)

Answer 6

YanTeng

To be fair... I don't know if you believe in there being parallel universes or whatnot but "the one" might not even exist in this timeline. If they did, what are the chances that you're born within the same time period?

The person who would have been "the one" for you might have been born 50 years ago, or something. A bit weird to think about

Answer 7

Avicenna

Coach, I think she’d enjoy a date. Dates are usually fun.

Answer 8

Aakash_Hangargi

Being single is easy lol, blending with people is tough and tolerating it's exhausting but it's also lovely.

Lol stop hunting unicorns and settle for horses without horns 😂🤘👰 find a good at Will person and modify him as per your wish that's what all girls do change the man 😂😂😂

Answer 9

Aakash_Hangargi

Offcourse with love

Answer 10

Cynicaldreamer

@Aakash_Hangargi "Lol stop hunting unicorns and settle for horses without horns 🤘 find a good at Will person and modify him as per your wish that's what all girls do change the man"
Now you know I like you, but I have to disagree with you here, or rather your statement. I refuse to be one of those women that tries to change a man to make him into what I want him to be! I mean sure, I could find a horse and super glue a horn on him, but would he be what I wanted? NO.

I rather find that elusive unicorn because he's authentic and not changing himself to make me happy, and vice versa. If that means being single, then I guess I'm going to be single... for a very long time, LOL

@YanTeng You know I have thought of that! I have. Who's to say the right person for me isn't born yet, or already existed and we missed each other. I tell you, sometimes life is such a conspiracy...

Answer 11

Aakash_Hangargi

Yup we both will be single then it's pact 😂

Answer 12

tjbyrd39

Very well put. I agree 100%. Plus monogamy is just fairy tail told that kids forget to forget. So when they become adults it's ingrained in their head to pursue such a silly and useless goal. I'm not saying I'm a woman-hater because I absolutely adore women. I think they're all great in their own ways. And all should feel special and needed but not by just one man.

Answer 13

YanTeng

@Cynicaldreamer yeah, I think fate can be cruel

Answer 14

DeeToPlay

The only thing that I have in the area of a critique of your statement is about the comment on self esteem. Your self esteem should be based on how you feel about you and not another person. How you feel about you. This may seem easy to many but I understand how that may seem simplified but I realized some time ago that I would not be prepared for a healthy relationship with no confidence in myself, seeking my worth through others especially a romantic partner is doomed to failure from the start. As for the attraction to have my forever partner in my life, I know that after being basically single since 2006 when my 20+ year marriage came to an abrupt ending I'm more than ready to enjoy the stability within that I feel internally with a commitment to share the responsibility for assisting someone else's happiness and comfort. I seem to thrive more successfully in life. I imagine I'm wired that way because of the fact that I was basically brought up by men. My dad and my grandfather were the largest influences in my world as a child and young man. My father still holds that position.

Answer 15

Cynicaldreamer

@DeeToPlay Thank you for your feedback sir. I have always had terrible self esteem, even now. It's an issue I will definitely have to work on before I even consider myself ready for a relationship again.

While I know I shouldn't let others influence my self esteem, it's hard. Growing up, I was the "ugly ducking." Guys made it clear I wasn't attractive to them, at least in a romantic sense, so of course that didn't help my self esteem either.

Obviously, as I got older, I taught not to let matters like that get to me, but the damage from my younger years left me a bit scarred. That's why I'm constantly working on improving myself: not for others, but for myself, so I can feel better about myself and boost my self esteem.

Answer 16

jennifer_bloom | 3.4K opinions shared on Dating topic.

Influencer

For me it’s either money or personality - one guy might have a good heart and body but be financially dependent on me - another guy might have money but have a bad personality - if a guy has both good qualities he is usually married or in a relationship

Answer 17

David92506 | 217 opinions shared on Dating topic.

Xper 7

I've frequent several dating sites, such as PlentyOfFish, and have dated several women. These women tell me their email boxes are full of men wanting to meet them. So they are in the process of filtering the men. I've always requested second dates but I never had one. The women are so busy meeting other prospects.

So what's holding me back is the lack of prospects.

Answer 18

Reputon13

Xper 4

I think it mainly comes down to first impressions. I'm definitely more shy than I am outgoing, and I'm also not the best looking guy (I don't think I'm ugly, though). I'm very comfortable with who I am as a person (kindness, level-headedness, responsibility etc) but I need to work on putting myself out more.

Answer 19

Bee-Hatch | 251 opinions shared on Dating topic.

Yoda

Agent Smith?

Answer 20

Anonymous

My weight and self hatred ✨✨

Answer 21

Twalli | 1.4K opinions shared on Dating topic.

Guru

The very real possibility I already found her.

Twalli

2 mo
My parents say she's "the one" for me and her parents say I'm "the one" for her. It seems likely they're right, because apparently a 2.5 year relationship with no ripples is good, but it doesn't even register as that because we have yet to encounter a single problem with each other. Her cell phone is another story.

Answer 22

Twalli

My parents say she's "the one" for me and her parents say I'm "the one" for her. It seems likely they're right, because apparently a 2.5 year relationship with no ripples is good, but it doesn't even register as that because we have yet to encounter a single problem with each other. Her cell phone is another story.

Answer 23

MannMitAntworten | 2.2K opinions shared on Dating topic.

Guru

Retirement.

Answer 24

Iron_Man | 11K opinions shared on Dating topic.

Master

I guess COVID-19

Answer 25

Anonymous

THEY DONT WANT ME BACK

Answer 26

Dnice1 | 118 opinions shared on Dating topic.

Xper 7

Nothing! I've found the one! ❤

Answer 27

stuntbrain | 502 opinions shared on Dating topic.

Yoda

Idealism

Answer 28

Gedaria | 2.6K opinions shared on Dating topic.

Master

Time..,..

Answer 29

SuccessfulHornDog | 3K opinions shared on Dating topic.

Master

My fiancee

Answer 30

OddBeMe | 1.7K opinions shared on Dating topic.

Guru

Yourself

Answer 31

iFarted | 1.8K opinions shared on Dating topic.

Guru

Right now? Covid

Answer 32

Joker_ | 998 opinions shared on Dating topic.

Guru

They're missing

Answer 33

FocusOfSuspicion

Xper 5

Social skills... lol

Answer 34

Derrick_14

Xper 4

Anxiety of lossing them again

Answer 35

iseekpinetrees | 525 opinions shared on Dating topic.

Yoda

Nothing i found him

Answer 36

jimmy2 | 1.5K opinions shared on Dating topic.

Guru

Her address lol

Answer 37

CassieCape

Xper 6

Covid19 😒

Answer 38

tjbyrd39 | 91 opinions shared on Dating topic.

Xper 6

The many

Answer 39

SleepingMK

Xper 4

the search engine

Answer 40

Anonymous

Commitment phobia.

What holds you back from finding THE ONE?

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