Been single going on 4 years now. Wanted to be single to give myself time to heal from my last relationship and know who I am. Now I'm 31 years old, no kids, no debt, career driven, and love my freedom. The pandemic has shut down all travel, my job is on hold, last time I dated anyone I was 24 years old and online dating seems to be a mess these days. Should I even attempt to try dating after new years or should I wait until the world opens up and I can travel to other states and countries to meet amazing real life people not a spam bot?
Updates:
1 y
This isn't a question for "self improvement" and definitely not in any way out there for guys to message me for their own personal gain. I would like women and men to give me their true opinions on dating right now in the united states. Thanks.
1 y
Keep in mind that I am not looking for a husband, I am not going to have children (I'm sterilized) not my lifestyle choice, and I prefer older gentlemen. All these comments about my age with the fertility situation don't apply to me, the marriage situation doesn't apply to me and also I wouldn't date anyone who hasn't lived at least a decade longer than myself.
zeitgeist057 | 189 opinions shared on Dating topic.
Yoda
1 y
real life people have been a win for me over online people. I have had a couple really good relationships from online but at least as a guy it's waaaaaay too much effort for such little return. I've heard similar things from women as well, but it's from the other end of the spectrum (flood vs. famine). As a guy, I wrote probably a half a novel worth of DMs to get back next to no responses. Then after seriously over 100 messages of at least 1 paragraph and sometimes 4+, I started just cut-n-pasting a simple greeting like "I saw your profile and found you attractive on multiple levels. If you check out my profile and feel similarly, let's chat?" and sent out about 100 more. My next girlfriend messaged me back and we had a wonderful fulfilling relationship. The other one became my wife and she DM'd ME so that was totally different, and based on my profile essays before even seeing my pictures. (on OKC).
So my recommendation online is if you are going to do it, maybe don't pay attention to the flood of messages but do your own hunting and find a guy you like and take the initiative to message him instead of sitting back sorting through messages. I don't know, maybe could work?
But offline is way better, imho. You pick up so much from body language. I've also had what seemed like promising dates from online but when we met in person, I instantly knew/thought "okay, well let's have a coffee and chat or whatever but I'm ending this early."
I met my second fiance on POF and I'm the one who messaged him however didn't work out clearly. But dating sites worked differently back when I was dating in my early to mid 20's. I tried it again and the amount of losers, potheads, divorcees, dads, and catfish are out of control. That's amazing that you found your wife on OKC. I'm not interested in swimming around the internet trolls. I love being alone and single more than being annoyed by spam.
Not_Average | 244 opinions shared on Dating topic.
Explorer
1 y
When you say career driven, does that mean you would limit your attention towards a relationship? That’s unattractive to most men as we like to be prioritized. This serves as a sign of being a good future mother.
Does having independence mean you want to date freely and sleep around casually? That’s also unattractive to a lot of men after a certain age as this would show that you’re not suitable for marriage.
This isn’t intended to put you down, but I feel like your posting this for some sort of validation given your picture attached at the end. You’ve been single for four years, and I’m assuming you don’t want to. You should try a different approach of how you come across and really analyze what’s going on so you can meet someone special.
That sucks that you had a rough prior relationship. I’ve had some shitty experiences too. Therapy can help and do a lot. I was anti therapy until I started dating a therapist lol. You’re attractive. You can meet someone again who will actually value the relationship and treat you with respect.
Been in therapy for 18 years. Finished intensive cptsd, stockholm syndrome treatment, sexual abuse treatment, hypnotize and other alternative therapies for three years. To say I have done everything there is besides more time is an understatement. I am sterilized and I do not ever wish to be a mother. Not my idea of a lifestyle choice. Being independent means I take care of my own finances and my own personal life. That has nothing to do with "sleeping" around. In fact most individuals who aren't independent are the ones who seek out sexual attention. I'm not looking to be anyones wife or housekeeper.
You don't have to do anything you don't want to do. Until a man shows his friendship, love, and devotion to wanting to be with you, you don't enter into a relationship or desire to date unless it's somebody you want to love, have a family and healthy sex life with, somebody you want to marry and share your life with and not just date.
I suggest that you become proactive, if you are looking for a relationship. You are a good-looking woman, who should be turning male heads. A major problem today is the way that approaches by men have been made so dangerous by women, in some cases criminalised (such as in Britain), that a large number of men who are not sociopaths simply do not approach women any more. Therefore, a woman who wants a man will have to become proactive. My suggestion would be an old-fashioned dating agency, especially one that caters to professionals who are too busy to go on the hunt, or are socially awkward. Note that I said an agency. One that has an office and requires you to go there for an interview. Stay away from websites. They are toxic freak shows. An agency will prequalify the men before they are introduced to you. In the age range 18 to 35 there are five males to every female on their books. That begins to change at 35 and by 40 there are five females to every male. So, a woman of your age and who looks as good as you do should be kept busy. You also need to be mindful of your biology. You are 31 years old. At age 35 your fertility will fall off a cliff, which means that on an instinctive level your appeal to men will drop in proportion. To illustrate why men have stopped approaching women watch the street encounter on this video at 02:30.https://www.youtube.com/embed/eLxUNz0GC-g
I'm 29 and still waiting after shitty relationship after shitty relationship. I have no plans on looking for anyone actively myself. Perfectly content being all alone, just like I have been most of my life. If I make a female friend and it happens to work out and she wants to put up with all my shit. Then by all means.
If you are willing to leave the confines of your domicile you can still meet people while out and about. I certainly do. Personally if I ready to carry on I wouldn’t allow the current state of the world to hamper my moving on. Covid crashed and burned my own relationship. I wish I were in your current frame of mind.
It is difficult to get back into the mindset. Used to have healthy fun passionate relationships before this last situation I survived. Dating I can handle, a relationship is a different situation and when it feels right I will know.
Why not? If you have faith in it working out then try it, but real life is totally better, depends whether you want to wait an unknown amount of time until this sht ends or have some fun on the net
No one here can tell you if you should or not. You decide whether you can and how you will make it a success. You share part of the responsibility in its success and its failure. So that is the key point.
Honestly dating in the US is happening and people are finding a way. Whether it’s meeting in public places like parks are keeping a distance while taking a walk or it’s meeting at a coffee shop and winking behind a face mask. Most of the things that are involved in dating can happen in 2021 and getting creative to overcome the pandemic challenges is just a fact. In some ways having more distance and not being as physical can improve the solid foundation in a relationship and allow people to get to know each other more over time.
Yes I do know this. However when it is zero below and freezing those options are not available anymore. Also dating men over the age of 35 who aren't divorced and who aren't dads, don't smoke, dont use drugs, dont party and have a job seem to be slim. Now dating in your age group I remember was so easy and fun but now no.
If those are roadblocks then like you said it may be beneficial to wait a bit. Here in Florida it will be in the 70s tomorrow and I’ll be at the beach soaking up the sun. While it’s been a crazy year and sadly in 2021 it’s not like everything gets better; the beach hasn’t really been affected and people are still friendly.
I can imagine having those filters on meeting a new guy will narrow down your options. When you ask your friends to set you up with a new guy have they found someone nice? I doubt many older guys are showing up new at church in person these days? Personally I don’t smoke or do drugs so maybe the circles I run in are not like other parts of the country.
Guess only you know your goals next year and can take actions to manifest them. Sounds like you are enjoying your freedom so is there anything making you want to be in a relationship again?
If you feel comfortable enough to start again mam, then you should. Just never try to be hasty in these kinds of things. Your own comfort is more important here.
You have been replaced by the fresh young 20 year old sluts. bye bye. Unless you want a weak beta male who will make you miserable in the long term. That's how it works usually nowadays.
Well are you missing a relationship or just aspects of a relationship? And I hear you online dating is a bit of a shitshow lol
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bulletbob555 | 402 opinions shared on Dating topic.
Explorer
1 y
You can start whenever the opportunity presents itself. Taking time to put yourself together after a relationship is good. You should be ready unfortunately the world is not
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Wise4myage | 4.6K opinions shared on Dating topic.
Master
1 y
I say wait till Covid is over. With your looks, you won't be single for long once. :)
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