How can you explain to a potential partner that superficial information isn't beneficial for dating or long jeopardy in a relationship?

Question

Often people focus too much on irrelavent information such as name, ages, hair colour, background, fashion taste, hobbies, occupation and family details. That they never give themselves the chance to know the person inside your skin.

Answer 1

RyzaStout

Xper 5

Just don't explain it? Or say you like to get to know them through deeper conversations instead? I don't like small talk so I just try to avoid it or just do the basics to get it out the way

Asker

15 d
Good idea. But i was honest and told her my occupation - now the conversation ended there. Too bad I'm not a doctor to make her parent proud which she couldn't personality accomplished
RyzaStout

15 d
In my experience the right people, or like minded people, will stick around regardless. Maybe she just wasn't the right person
Asker

15 d
Yeah probably not

Answer 2

Asker

Good idea. But i was honest and told her my occupation - now the conversation ended there. Too bad I'm not a doctor to make her parent proud which she couldn't personality accomplished

Answer 3

RyzaStout

In my experience the right people, or like minded people, will stick around regardless. Maybe she just wasn't the right person

Answer 4

Asker

Yeah probably not

Answer 5

iseekpinetrees | 378 opinions shared on Dating topic.

Yoda

I just tell people you gota ask the deep shit to really get to know someone

Answer 6

AWMorris

Xper 1

You may want to work on your small talk game. It may not be pertinent info in the grand scheme of humanity, but the ability to have conversation is a necessity. Saying the shit you just posted does make you sound unhinged, or as other posters have said, like a murderer. Its definitely off-putting.

Asker

15 d
You're entitled to your opinion bro. It's small talk to common simple mind person but to a profound individual that's a way forward.
AWMorris

15 d
Now you just sound like a smug, self-important murderer. You may think yourself some impressive genius, but something tells me no one else has said that about you.
Asker

15 d
Again in your opinion. Sounds like, seems like, looks like are just assumptions but no facts. Nothing wrong with one knowing themselves and that's good enough in their eyes. I don't need to accept your common sociatal standards and conditions. I am happy within myself and nowhere did i mention or hint that I'm important but I'm different and fucking love it haha
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AWMorris

15 d
If you expect to act in a way that is not "socially acceptable," whatever that is, then don't expect to be socially accepted by potential partners.

These social games we play are important. Look through Jean Piaget's social development theory. You may think you're above your and everyone else's biology, but human biology doesn't care what you think everyone should value.
Asker

15 d
And that's perfectly fine with me i don't want to be socially accpeted. I'm not seeking a partnership with society. One person with a similar mind set is more than enough. But i see what you're doing. I'm not new to this app. I know when someone asks a question that treatens others' limited intelligence or doesn't fit with their narrative, they try to insult the person in stead of answering the question lol. Basic tactic. That's all it is
AWMorris

15 d
I answered your question. I didn't insult your intelligence, I just said you probably think more highly of your intelligence than others might. You probably are a lovely person, but you need to relax. You seem to have a chip on your shoulder and thats not a good thing to carry with you in life. It doesn't help.
Asker

14 d
Nah of course you didn't insult my intelligence just assumed that i sound unhinged and rather sound like a murderer as the 20 years old who know more about life suggested. And now you gonna try and patronise me suggesting that i could be lovely. Mate here is a piece of advice to you and that little judgmental bitch on my feed practice safe sex and go and fuck yourselves you cunts. I didn't get this far in life using your common approach so shuve it up your asses
AWMorris

14 d
Why would you ask a question, that implies that you need to explain the necessity of information someone else SHOULD value, and not expect a criticism of your ego? It's okay man, critiques don't always come from people who want to see you harmed. I don't know you, but I do genuinely want to answer you. My answer was that if you can't find a potential partner that matches the criteria you need, maybe some introspection is in order. Is that really what you want? Someone you instruct on what to value. Is it what's best for you or them? Thats all.
Asker

14 d
Isn't g@g about asking questions? Or you want me to ask question about masturbation or my partner did so and so what does that mean like the rest do. What ego? My question was about knowing a person energy and their individual values rather than some daft what's occupation, what's your fashion style, occupation type of bullshit.
I don't how you and that little girl got the wrong idea from and started judging and putting me in weird boxes. Fix your perceptions and stop assuming b. s
AWMorris

13 d
Do you see how emotionally you're responding right now? Breathe, and don't take this as a personal attack. It's not.

This app is about asking questions, I didn't say don't ask this question. I said your question implied more than you asked.

The question is valid, but a little loaded. Your question wasn't about "knowing a person energy and their individual values," it was about "how to explain to a potential partner that superficial information isn't beneficial..."

Again, that's you asking how to convince someone that they are incorrect about the superficiality of information and the value of the information. Let them decide what is superficial. Let them decide what is of value to them. If they don't value what you value, then it probably isn't worth the effort to "explain to a potential partner that superficial information isn't beneficial for dating..."
Asker

13 d
Your opinion is invalid mate. The question is based on my thoughts, you don't get to tell me how to ask it. But of course I'd tell you and little girlfriend off, you can't be going around throwing labels at anyone. Fix your perception and cut the b. s
AWMorris

13 d
Again, you're either not reading what I'm writing, not understanding it, or ignoring it. You're not telling anyone off, you're just writing random dismissive statements.

This may be more evidence that you could work on your conversation skills.

I know the question is based on your thoughts. That's what I said as well. I said your thoughts might not be healthy, and then I explained why I thought that. I'm not sure what you're getting at now.

Answer 7

Asker

You're entitled to your opinion bro. It's small talk to common simple mind person but to a profound individual that's a way forward.

Answer 8

AWMorris

Now you just sound like a smug, self-important murderer. You may think yourself some impressive genius, but something tells me no one else has said that about you.

Answer 9

Asker

Again in your opinion. Sounds like, seems like, looks like are just assumptions but no facts. Nothing wrong with one knowing themselves and that's good enough in their eyes. I don't need to accept your common sociatal standards and conditions. I am happy within myself and nowhere did i mention or hint that I'm important but I'm different and fucking love it haha

Answer 10

AWMorris

If you expect to act in a way that is not "socially acceptable," whatever that is, then don't expect to be socially accepted by potential partners.

These social games we play are important. Look through Jean Piaget's social development theory. You may think you're above your and everyone else's biology, but human biology doesn't care what you think everyone should value.

Answer 11

Asker

And that's perfectly fine with me i don't want to be socially accpeted. I'm not seeking a partnership with society. One person with a similar mind set is more than enough. But i see what you're doing. I'm not new to this app. I know when someone asks a question that treatens others' limited intelligence or doesn't fit with their narrative, they try to insult the person in stead of answering the question lol. Basic tactic. That's all it is

Answer 12

AWMorris

I answered your question. I didn't insult your intelligence, I just said you probably think more highly of your intelligence than others might. You probably are a lovely person, but you need to relax. You seem to have a chip on your shoulder and thats not a good thing to carry with you in life. It doesn't help.

Answer 13

Asker

Nah of course you didn't insult my intelligence just assumed that i sound unhinged and rather sound like a murderer as the 20 years old who know more about life suggested. And now you gonna try and patronise me suggesting that i could be lovely. Mate here is a piece of advice to you and that little judgmental bitch on my feed practice safe sex and go and fuck yourselves you cunts. I didn't get this far in life using your common approach so shuve it up your asses

Answer 14

AWMorris

Why would you ask a question, that implies that you need to explain the necessity of information someone else SHOULD value, and not expect a criticism of your ego? It's okay man, critiques don't always come from people who want to see you harmed. I don't know you, but I do genuinely want to answer you. My answer was that if you can't find a potential partner that matches the criteria you need, maybe some introspection is in order. Is that really what you want? Someone you instruct on what to value. Is it what's best for you or them? Thats all.

Answer 15

Asker

Isn't g@g about asking questions? Or you want me to ask question about masturbation or my partner did so and so what does that mean like the rest do. What ego? My question was about knowing a person energy and their individual values rather than some daft what's occupation, what's your fashion style, occupation type of bullshit.
I don't how you and that little girl got the wrong idea from and started judging and putting me in weird boxes. Fix your perceptions and stop assuming b. s

Answer 16

AWMorris

Do you see how emotionally you're responding right now? Breathe, and don't take this as a personal attack. It's not.

This app is about asking questions, I didn't say don't ask this question. I said your question implied more than you asked.

The question is valid, but a little loaded. Your question wasn't about "knowing a person energy and their individual values," it was about "how to explain to a potential partner that superficial information isn't beneficial..."

Again, that's you asking how to convince someone that they are incorrect about the superficiality of information and the value of the information. Let them decide what is superficial. Let them decide what is of value to them. If they don't value what you value, then it probably isn't worth the effort to "explain to a potential partner that superficial information isn't beneficial for dating..."

Answer 17

Asker

Your opinion is invalid mate. The question is based on my thoughts, you don't get to tell me how to ask it. But of course I'd tell you and little girlfriend off, you can't be going around throwing labels at anyone. Fix your perception and cut the b. s

Answer 18

AWMorris

Again, you're either not reading what I'm writing, not understanding it, or ignoring it. You're not telling anyone off, you're just writing random dismissive statements.

This may be more evidence that you could work on your conversation skills.

I know the question is based on your thoughts. That's what I said as well. I said your thoughts might not be healthy, and then I explained why I thought that. I'm not sure what you're getting at now.

Answer 19

Cherokeehp | 1.1K opinions shared on Dating topic.

Guru

You sound like a murderer.

Asker

15 d
Care to explain?
Cherokeehp

15 d
What do you consider relevant if names, ages, background, hobbies, occupations, and family are irrelevant and superficial? A lot of those things are key to building a persons identity. When you take that away what else do you have left that’s relevant?
Asker

15 d
We've been conditioned to accept what is given to us and other peoples opinions and labels as identity hence why we don't even know ourselves. Half of the things we do we don't even know why we do it and why we think the way we do. And i don't mean to sound like I'm belittling you but this wisdom comes as you grow older. I didn't know all this stuff in my 20 or early 30s, I just learnt because the kind of life I've lived but which matured me enough to get to this reality.
People often are picky with names, age and background and occupation etc but that's not the core of a person. That's just information outside of ourselves. And those informations evidently didn't make someone have a better relationship nor did it help them knowing the person behind the skin. Your identity is what you choose it to be. We all have a choice. If i call you smelly stacey for a period of time you'll psychologically start to think that is part of you and accept it as part of your identity but if you know yourself internally that labrl become redundant.
Show All Show Less
Cherokeehp

15 d
You’ve written so much and yet managed to say nothing and not answer my question. What do you consider to be relevant information?
Asker

15 d
Irrelevant information are those that others use to "identify" you but miss out the person beneath the skin. I. e race, name, occupation etc. I thought my answer was straight forward but sorry if it doesn't fit with your narrative
Cherokeehp

15 d
I didn’t ask what was irrelevant, I asked what was RELEVANT.
Asker

15 d
Read my earlier response. If that doesn't answer your question then you probably looking for an answer that suits you
Cherokeehp

15 d
You still haven’t answered my question. WHAT IS IMPORTANT?
Asker

15 d
The soul od a person behind the skin. Did you not read that above?
Asker

15 d
Of person*
Cherokeehp

15 d
But what makes up the soul?
Asker

15 d
Is this a rhetorical question or you seriously don't know what makes up your soul?
Cherokeehp

14 d
This is a legitimate question. If all other aspects of a persons lifestyle and identity are irrelevant, then what is relevant?
Asker

14 d
Their spiritual being.
Asker

14 d
Put aside what you can't seem to understand from this feed. What matters to you when dating?
Cherokeehp

14 d
All of it. The person as a whole.
Asker

14 d
And what does all of it entail?
Cherokeehp

14 d
Whether you think makes up a soul, and all that other stuff you said was irrelevant.
Asker

14 d
Doesn't matter what i think hence i sound like a murderer base on your perception. What do you think makes up a soul? And what was it about my question that triggered you to to suggest that i sounded like a murderer? I'm really intrigued now
Cherokeehp

14 d
Because all those things you said are irrelevant are considered relevant by most people. You sound a bit socially inept. Although a lack of social skills aren’t always linked to sociopathy and murder, you seem off putting. You also seem a bit narcissistic.
Asker

14 d
Ah now i see why you were all up in the other guy's feed kissing ass lol you rely on assumption rather than facts to judge someone you don't know. I did mention that I don't subscribe to what common simple minded people think and therefore i don't need to agree to everyone's approach to dating or fit it. I also have nothing to prove to you or anyone. But based on a question i posted to find out what people think which is what g@g is about by the way, you already judged and measured my social skills and assumed a murderer. And why does it make me a murderer if a women's name and occupation and hair colour doesn't mean shit to me?
In my life time, I've been with so many women and I've known so many people, do you honestly think knowing all their details is what did the trick 🤦🏽‍♂️lol. You see now it's safe to say that your earlier statement/assumption was silly and you were foolish to suggest it. For furture reference though; try to think before you speak, i know most people suffer from that tendency but if if you wanna act like you know what you're talking about as a 20 years-old at least use your head.
Cherokeehp

14 d
Firstly, I wasn’t kissing anyone’s ass. He mentioned my comment and so I read the rest of his answer and I agreed with him. I don’t know you, you’re anonymous blue male in your 30s. The only information I have to judge you is this post, and this post comes off as creepy and my first impression of you would be that you’re unnerving, you seem to think a bit highly of yourself. You think you’re saying something profound, but you aren’t. You’re just being socially awkward. I did think before I spoke and I stand by what I said. If I was a woman going on a first date with you and you said the things you wrote I’d probably climb out a bathroom window and leave.
Asker

14 d
Yes yiu clearly was kissing his ass just a bit brown nosing it. Yes i am anonymous and i can be same as everyone does on the app... and if what i said is profound to me i don't need your approval. Who are you to judge someone's question and label them? All you've done is echo what the other user said to sound like you're not the only one assuming some bullshit. Get lost!
Cherokeehp

14 d
If you want to get technical, he actually echoed what I said and simply expanded on it. Me saying that I agree with him is not at all brown nosing anything. Everyone judges everyone.
Asker

14 d
Yes of course you're the one every takes a note of. Kmt teen agers. Go else where with your silly assumptions and ass kissing.
Cherokeehp

14 d
My assumptions must not have been to silly if someone else agreed with me.
Asker

13 d
Eww somone agreed with you and that stimulated you to think you're right.
Cherokeehp

13 d
I’m not saying the fact that he agreed with me makes me correct. You can be perceived by many different people in many different ways. Opinions are just opinions. I said you seemed creepy like a murderer and he agreed. So perhaps you aren’t a murderer, but something about your post is coming off as creepy to at least two people. I stand by my opinion. I would’ve stood by my opinion even if he didn’t agree with me.
Asker

13 d
Who cares what your opinion is. You're just a teen ager with no life experience and as soon as someone ageed with you, all of the sudden you become an excited psychologist, and why in the hell would comment if it's creepy to you. It triggered something in you now you can't let it go. Well here I'm telling that you're opinion is invalid so get lost.

Answer 20

Asker

Care to explain?

Answer 21

Cherokeehp

What do you consider relevant if names, ages, background, hobbies, occupations, and family are irrelevant and superficial? A lot of those things are key to building a persons identity. When you take that away what else do you have left that’s relevant?

Answer 22

Asker

We've been conditioned to accept what is given to us and other peoples opinions and labels as identity hence why we don't even know ourselves. Half of the things we do we don't even know why we do it and why we think the way we do. And i don't mean to sound like I'm belittling you but this wisdom comes as you grow older. I didn't know all this stuff in my 20 or early 30s, I just learnt because the kind of life I've lived but which matured me enough to get to this reality.
People often are picky with names, age and background and occupation etc but that's not the core of a person. That's just information outside of ourselves. And those informations evidently didn't make someone have a better relationship nor did it help them knowing the person behind the skin. Your identity is what you choose it to be. We all have a choice. If i call you smelly stacey for a period of time you'll psychologically start to think that is part of you and accept it as part of your identity but if you know yourself internally that labrl become redundant.

Answer 23

Cherokeehp

You’ve written so much and yet managed to say nothing and not answer my question. What do you consider to be relevant information?

Answer 24

Asker

Irrelevant information are those that others use to "identify" you but miss out the person beneath the skin. I. e race, name, occupation etc. I thought my answer was straight forward but sorry if it doesn't fit with your narrative

Answer 25

Cherokeehp

I didn’t ask what was irrelevant, I asked what was RELEVANT.

Answer 26

Asker

Read my earlier response. If that doesn't answer your question then you probably looking for an answer that suits you

Answer 27

Cherokeehp

You still haven’t answered my question. WHAT IS IMPORTANT?

Answer 28

Asker

The soul od a person behind the skin. Did you not read that above?

Answer 29

Asker

Of person*

Answer 30

Cherokeehp

But what makes up the soul?

Answer 31

Asker

Is this a rhetorical question or you seriously don't know what makes up your soul?

Answer 32

Cherokeehp

This is a legitimate question. If all other aspects of a persons lifestyle and identity are irrelevant, then what is relevant?

Answer 33

Asker

Their spiritual being.

Answer 34

Asker

Put aside what you can't seem to understand from this feed. What matters to you when dating?

Answer 35

Cherokeehp

All of it. The person as a whole.

Answer 36

Asker

And what does all of it entail?

Answer 37

Cherokeehp

Whether you think makes up a soul, and all that other stuff you said was irrelevant.

Answer 38

Asker

Doesn't matter what i think hence i sound like a murderer base on your perception. What do you think makes up a soul? And what was it about my question that triggered you to to suggest that i sounded like a murderer? I'm really intrigued now

Answer 39

Cherokeehp

Because all those things you said are irrelevant are considered relevant by most people. You sound a bit socially inept. Although a lack of social skills aren’t always linked to sociopathy and murder, you seem off putting. You also seem a bit narcissistic.

Answer 40

Asker

Ah now i see why you were all up in the other guy's feed kissing ass lol you rely on assumption rather than facts to judge someone you don't know. I did mention that I don't subscribe to what common simple minded people think and therefore i don't need to agree to everyone's approach to dating or fit it. I also have nothing to prove to you or anyone. But based on a question i posted to find out what people think which is what g@g is about by the way, you already judged and measured my social skills and assumed a murderer. And why does it make me a murderer if a women's name and occupation and hair colour doesn't mean shit to me?
In my life time, I've been with so many women and I've known so many people, do you honestly think knowing all their details is what did the trick 🤦🏽‍♂️lol. You see now it's safe to say that your earlier statement/assumption was silly and you were foolish to suggest it. For furture reference though; try to think before you speak, i know most people suffer from that tendency but if if you wanna act like you know what you're talking about as a 20 years-old at least use your head.

Answer 41

Cherokeehp

Firstly, I wasn’t kissing anyone’s ass. He mentioned my comment and so I read the rest of his answer and I agreed with him. I don’t know you, you’re anonymous blue male in your 30s. The only information I have to judge you is this post, and this post comes off as creepy and my first impression of you would be that you’re unnerving, you seem to think a bit highly of yourself. You think you’re saying something profound, but you aren’t. You’re just being socially awkward. I did think before I spoke and I stand by what I said. If I was a woman going on a first date with you and you said the things you wrote I’d probably climb out a bathroom window and leave.

Answer 42

Asker

Yes yiu clearly was kissing his ass just a bit brown nosing it. Yes i am anonymous and i can be same as everyone does on the app... and if what i said is profound to me i don't need your approval. Who are you to judge someone's question and label them? All you've done is echo what the other user said to sound like you're not the only one assuming some bullshit. Get lost!

Answer 43

Cherokeehp

If you want to get technical, he actually echoed what I said and simply expanded on it. Me saying that I agree with him is not at all brown nosing anything. Everyone judges everyone.

Answer 44

Asker

Yes of course you're the one every takes a note of. Kmt teen agers. Go else where with your silly assumptions and ass kissing.

Answer 45

Cherokeehp

My assumptions must not have been to silly if someone else agreed with me.

Answer 46

Asker

Eww somone agreed with you and that stimulated you to think you're right.

Answer 47

Cherokeehp

I’m not saying the fact that he agreed with me makes me correct. You can be perceived by many different people in many different ways. Opinions are just opinions. I said you seemed creepy like a murderer and he agreed. So perhaps you aren’t a murderer, but something about your post is coming off as creepy to at least two people. I stand by my opinion. I would’ve stood by my opinion even if he didn’t agree with me.

Answer 48

Asker

Who cares what your opinion is. You're just a teen ager with no life experience and as soon as someone ageed with you, all of the sudden you become an excited psychologist, and why in the hell would comment if it's creepy to you. It triggered something in you now you can't let it go. Well here I'm telling that you're opinion is invalid so get lost.

How can you explain to a potential partner that superficial information isn't beneficial for dating or long jeopardy in a relationship?

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