When do you have the what are we talk?

Question

I've been talking with this girl since about the beginning of December. We've been on two dates now, would have been a third date, but she had to reschedule. We've talked on the phone now several times in between dates for probably and hour each time. Id like to make her my girlfriend but at the same time I think it's too soon? I don't know. How serious is it to call her your girlfriend?

Answer 1

coldmarch

Xper 4

I think it's too early, at least for me. I'd feel too pushed or like if the guy wants to trap me in an "agreement" as fast as possible.
Also, I'm reading you are 31, but I think this kind of way to rush things quickly to the next steps is more something of the teenage. Around 30, probably, that girl has already enough experience in relations that she is also a bit wiser, calmer, and analyzes things more carefully. Probably she has also a career and needs time to ponder and take decisions.
I think before talking about being "a couple" you should at least kiss her and have sex (or anyway to get passionate to feel arousal or something), I mean installing that kind of physical confidence, then at that point the question about "what are we" will come up for sure.
Why to seal the relation as a "relationship" already, anyway? Let things go harmoniously, if there is anything to evolve in a relationship it will come anyway, with or without "the talk".
In all my stories, "the talk" came later, when we were already behaving like a regular couple from a while, like, one month or two of complete physical confidence, met our friends, shared experiences around that weren't "dates" anymore but actual interest in sharing something...
Think also about yourself: what if -you- are going to find soon traits that you don't like of her, unexpectedly? And what if you realize there is much better around but you've already trapped yourself in the relationship with her?
I really suggest no rush.

red324

15 d
We've kissed. Today I was joking about wanting to cuddle her because the weather was getting colder this week. I see what you're saying. Just spend time with her and do boyfriend/girlfriend activities without actually putting the title out there and complicating life.
red324

15 d
I hope it's not too early to suggest cuddling and watching a movie cause I kind of threw that idea out there casually. I didn't actually set it as a date I just kind of mentioned it.
coldmarch

15 d
I think just throwing it as idea and as joke is still ok, for now don't repeat it, at least she has the hint and she will probably think about it sometimes, that "prepares" her for when you'll be actually somewhere together in a comfy place... If you keep meeting it will happen by itself. I'd suggest to meet again somewhere without mentioning movie/cuddles and then next next time proposing to watch a movie (cuddles will come without needing to hint them again).
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red324

15 d
Okay. Yeah I like to kind of casually mention stuff like that so it reminds her that I'm looking to date her not be her friend.

Answer 2

red324

We've kissed. Today I was joking about wanting to cuddle her because the weather was getting colder this week. I see what you're saying. Just spend time with her and do boyfriend/girlfriend activities without actually putting the title out there and complicating life.

Answer 3

red324

I hope it's not too early to suggest cuddling and watching a movie cause I kind of threw that idea out there casually. I didn't actually set it as a date I just kind of mentioned it.

Answer 4

coldmarch

I think just throwing it as idea and as joke is still ok, for now don't repeat it, at least she has the hint and she will probably think about it sometimes, that "prepares" her for when you'll be actually somewhere together in a comfy place... If you keep meeting it will happen by itself. I'd suggest to meet again somewhere without mentioning movie/cuddles and then next next time proposing to watch a movie (cuddles will come without needing to hint them again).

Answer 5

red324

Okay. Yeah I like to kind of casually mention stuff like that so it reminds her that I'm looking to date her not be her friend.

Answer 6

Anonymous

So I've been seeing a guy since the end of September and we are not yet exclusive. We had an initial talk at the start that we just wanted to take it slow and see where it goes but haven't had one since. Personally I think 1 month is very quick to start calling each other boyfriend/girlfriend as you are still in the early stages of getting to know each other. I would take it slow so you can get to know each other better and have other experiences with one another so it feels more special when you do finally ask her to be exclusive. Also, if you're wanting a reference for what kind of time period is acceptable, the guy I'm seeing asked his ex-girlfriend out after 5/6 months of 'dating'.

Answer 7

MrStitch

Xper 4

Casually bring it much in conversation. Play it cool

red324

15 d
Do you think it's too soon yet,
MrStitch

15 d
No, not if you bring it up casually and not as a big deal.
red324

15 d
I like to introduce them as my girlfriend then see if she says anything later on.

Answer 8

red324

Do you think it's too soon yet,

Answer 9

MrStitch

No, not if you bring it up casually and not as a big deal.

Answer 10

red324

I like to introduce them as my girlfriend then see if she says anything later on.

When do you have the what are we talk?

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