How can a 21 year old man look for women for serious relationships?

Xper 1

I have come across lots of dating advice/dating gurus and all of them are directing me towards sex which is great but I believe to have it in an exclusive relationship.
I was told that Hinge is for serious relationships but never signed up.

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AI Bot Choice

Superb Opinion

hahahmm | 1.3K opinions shared on Dating topic.
Guru

10 d

You can look but there's no guarantee you can find it once you understand that the vast majority of relationships today aren't serious even if ONE of the people in the relationship thinks it is. To have a true serious relationship you need both people to be loyal. I guess something to help you would be if you pay close attention to a woman's character... if she thinks it's okay to 'date' 5 guys at the same time beware. If she breaks promises all the time: beware. Get good at listening and watching. One trick they use is to find out what you want and then pretend to be that thing. Don't tell them everything. Watch & learn what they're really about.

That said... to some degree women act a certain way based on the man they're with too. She could be loyal to you and not to another guy. Still your odds of success are higher with the one who lives a consistent life! See my MyTakes too. Some think my ideas on how to be a Better Man or a Lady have too many requirements but then they're the same people who just can't live up to the ideal set out. Still it may give you some ideas.

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Is this still revelant?
- Yash_08
  
  10 d
  Ohk.
  So I get your point.
  Let us take the example of dating apps. If I mention about it in my bio, do you think that they will be interested in me too?
  But then I will be thought of as too needy!
  Ugh!
  How absurd and toxic mental gymnastics today's dating scene has man.
  I wish the tradtional courtship and sex for marriage only norm comes back for good.
  One sex partner for life is so beautiful honestly.
- hahahmm
  
  10 d
  The best time for you to find a loyal woman is when you're younger. It gets harder the older you get. Not impossible. Just more stuff to wade through. Besides, loyal people aren't on the market often since they aren't constantly looking to jump ship.

Most Helpful Guy

BigHomieNasty
Xper 3

11 d

If you are looking for a good girl, then you will find her in a place good girls go. That’s not gonna be the clubs or parties. It’ll be the library and organizations if you’re in college. They will be in places that benefit their future.

I’m a dating advisor and life coach as well. I wouldn’t advise someone that “the one” is in the club, unless you yourself enjoys the club and bar scene. But if not, go to places you enjoy, and eventually you’ll come across a young lady that enjoys your hobbies too.

There are still good women out there and men too. They are just overshadowed by the loudness of everyone else. Put yourself out there and make yourself more visible and they’ll be able to find you.

Glad to be of assistance! Send me a follow and reach out if you need more info! Linktr. ee/BigHomieNasty

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Is this still revelant?
- Yash_08
  
  11 d
  Gald to have met you buddy.
  Do you do consultations too?
- BigHomieNasty
  
  11 d
  Yes that’s no problem. I’m just starting up my coaching business so I’m not super popular. But the wisdom I give comes from my experiences and studies as well as my own wins and losses. But I’d be more than happy to give a free consultation that will be specifically designed for you as an individual, instead of generic information.

Most Helpful Girls

CoolKatie | 50 opinions shared on Dating topic.
Xper 5

11 d

I'm just starting using Hinge and hasn't got any luck with and think is going to hit or miss. I met guys that just want to have sex or short term relationship. other men that looking for long term go too fast soon. I do not like seem they don't want to get know me as person not as attractive women

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Is this still revelant?
- Yash_08
  
  11 d
  Hey.. how are you?
  Thanks for replying.
  Too fast soon as in?
  .
  Also about the "getting to know you part", after how many dates is it confirmed that both of them are exclusive?
  Regarding the sex and the short term relationships part, that is what the dating gurus have been telling me.
  Even their books say the same thing.
  But I don't find it healthy for my psyche.. at least wait until it is official... maybe I am too old fashioned... I don't know.
- CoolKatie
  
  11 d
  going too fast saying love you and already asking me out but still in COVID-19 times. I am not on any date at all. i just using to see or find a man with a learning disability. some men just want sex and fun. I am want a serious long term relationship and been equal in relationship and not one-sided
- Yash_08
  
  11 d
  So basically you want him to be not needy but no too passive as well?
- Show All Show Less
- CoolKatie
  
  11 d
  Yep.
- Yash_08
  
  11 d
  So shall I assume that this is default state for most girls/women?
- CoolKatie
  
  11 d
  It depends on women.
- Yash_08
  
  11 d
  How about I ask you out on a date right now?
- CoolKatie
  
  11 d
  We can't do because convid19 is here. And I am not instested in men going too fast.
- Yash_08
  
  11 d
  Damn!
  How slow do you want this to be?🤣
  Anyways, I hope you get the guy you want.
  Good day!
HOAAH | 1.2K opinions shared on Dating topic.
Guru

12 d

Are you in college? I would try clubs if you were. Do you have family friends? Maybe they could set you up.

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Is this still revelant?
- Yash_08
  
  12 d
  Will start college within a month.
- HOAAH
  
  12 d
  Great! Try joining clubs that you have interest in. Meet girls there!
- Yash_08
  
  12 d
  One more question.
  How to NOT come across as creepy?😬
- Show All Show Less
- HOAAH
  
  12 d
  Try to not follow her around or change classes to be in the same class as her. Don't ask for her number right away. Just get comfortable seeing her at the clubs for a while.
- Yash_08
  
  12 d
  Got it.
  Thanks for your help.
  Any universally unattractive traits in men from the female side would be appreciated if you don't mind.😗
- HOAAH
  
  12 d
  Confidence with knowing what you want in life and positivity. Good luck
- Yash_08
  
  12 d
  Ok.
  Thanks for your help.

What Girls & Guys Said

010

WesBrewer | 833 opinions shared on Dating topic.
Explorer

12 d

If you want to find serious women, you can find them everywhere but it's easier if you date a country girl or a religious girl, they usually are serious.

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- Yash_08
  
  12 d
  That's a really nice suggestion.
- WesBrewer
  
  12 d
  I'm glad it helped
- Yash_08
  
  12 d
  Haha yeah.☺
Dinosaursandanime65 | 524 opinions shared on Dating topic.
Explorer

11 d

Yeah it should be exclusive for serious relationships. Ah shit, that goes against something I’ve created. But I do have her promise that she only she fucks Aima, she and he are like side main characters. It’s actually gonna be her New Years resolution. Lol.

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MrStitch
Xper 4

12 d

Find girls through family and friends, that’s what I did. Or join clubs at college

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- Yash_08
  
  11 d
  Yeah.
  The friends and clubs idea is sound great.
Avicenna | 8.2K opinions shared on Dating topic.
Master

12 d

You have the right idea as far as wanting a relationship. But it will probably take some time to find someone compatible who equally serious.

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- Yash_08
  
  12 d
  How mant years are we talking?😬
- Avicenna
  
  12 d
  Meeting someone can be completely random, so no one knows. Most women in their 20s aren’t that serious about relationships.
- Yash_08
  
  12 d
  Then do you even I should play the field?
- Show All Show Less
- Avicenna
  
  12 d
  Not if what you want is a relationship
- Yash_08
  
  12 d
  So how do I not come across as "the loser who is waiting for the one" while men my age are at like crazy?
  Also do my preferences not matter at all in women?
  The world tells to me that I should be grateful that she even looked at me.
Madladd
Xper 4

12 d

No place for serious relationships in this world my friend, Stay strong it's tough out there.

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- Yash_08
  
  12 d
  Hey.. thanks for replying.
  Don't want to sound desperate but that reality is so lonely isn't it?
- Madladd
  
  12 d
  Yes but at least close freinds make up for it.
- Yash_08
  
  12 d
  Well I lost almost all of my friends in the last 3 years.
- Show All Show Less
- Madladd
  
  12 d
  And why is that?
- Yash_08
  
  12 d
  I took 3 gap years after high school for college.
- Madladd
  
  12 d
  What has that to do with stopping contacting your friends!
- Yash_08
  
  12 d
  Because I had an entrance exam to crack.
  In my country there is an entrance exam which is held once a year and you gotta ace it.
  Seats are limited.
  They all went ahead in terms of their college and life.
  I was stuck.
- Madladd
  
  12 d
  Well now that's over contact them and see how are their lives going.
- Yash_08
  
  12 d
  Yes... that is what I am doing one by one.
  But most of them have their own friends now. You would know the connection weakens after a couple of years without contact.
- Madladd
  
  12 d
  Nah, you can get them back just don't make them feel nostalgic by talking about old memories or even life problems well at least at first but if you call them while being postive they will be like oh this guy has grown and he's cool now.😎
- Yash_08
  
  12 d
  Haha... yeah buddy.
  That is what I am expecting now.
  Do you recommend any genuine dating apps for hookups/ONS/friends with benefits?
  I mean yes I posted this answer for a serious relationship but can't go on abstinent at this age though.
  Ik Tinder but it is all about pictures and photogenic people.
- Madladd
  
  12 d
  All i can say that online dating ups are only meant for hook ups and if somebody finds a relationship in there it won't last.
- Yash_08
  
  12 d
  I agree to that but I am scared of being scammed/recorded or stuff like that.
- Madladd
  
  12 d
  Don't be scared but anyways online dating is disgusting to be honest.
- Yash_08
  
  12 d
  More like the concept of dating is a flop.
  Ik I am sounding very contradictory but it is.
  After I became 21, I thought to myself that I should have experience too because if she isn't waiting for me, why should I?
  People before 1960s had it so much better.
  One sex partner for life!
  Then Sexual Revolution came along and bam!
- Madladd
  
  12 d
  I agree but keep it positive if you think like this then there is a lot more girls who think the same and value commitment as you.
- Yash_08
  
  12 d
  Is it?
  I mean if there are girls who think like me then I don't think it is appropriate for me to go what I am thinking right now.
  How about you?
  Man I wish we could talk on DM but my current form of membership doesn't allow me to.
  Maybe one day.
- Madladd
  
  12 d
  Yeah, avoid online dating build yourself and someday will bump into a girl you never thought existed. And she will love you for who you are and what you are capable of accomplishing. Hook up are shallow. They judge and talk behind your back. They don't have feelings into it so they never sacrifice. Yeah i can't Dm too i'm new here
- Yash_08
  
  12 d
  I agree with that one day I will bump into a girl but what if she has a past I don't agree with or say, those aren't my values?
  Most people today make it sound like men's preferences don't matter and they should be glad that at least she told you the truth.
  Entitlement in that segment is really awful these days.
Mr_longLegz
Xper 2

11 d

Id say yes, however people change a lot in their 20s. Early 20s I wouldn't pursue it but if it happens, roll with it.

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- Yash_08
  
  11 d
  Hey!
  Thanks for your reply.
  So are we saying the same "girls have their fun in their early 20s and then find a nice guy to settle down in their late 20s" thing?
tHISpLACEiSbONKERZ | 261 opinions shared on Dating topic.
Xper 7

11 d

I dunno, you buy them with a dowry? Aren't those the rules where you live? You pay money and than put a small sticker on their foreheads to mark they're yours?

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DavidFox | 607 opinions shared on Dating topic.
Yoda

12 d

What’s your idea of a serious relationship?

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- Yash_08
  
  12 d
  A relationship which starts out as a physical date after meeting online or in person. Then if compatible along with chemistry, meet for more 2-3 dates and then get the indirect confirmation that we both are exclusive.
  Then after some years together, being part of each other's highs and lows... get married one day.
- DavidFox
  
  12 d
  Your best bet is to meet in person. In order to do that it becomes a numbers game. You need to start approaching girls who you are attracted to and strike up conversations. Some will go ok, others may reject you. But that’s your first course of action and do that until you find someone to ask for a first date.
- DavidFox
  
  12 d
  by the way after a few dates it’s not indirect confirmation.. you ask her to be your girlfriend. Make it direct and intentional
- Show All Show Less
- Yash_08
  
  12 d
  Any tips on what NOT to do when approaching someone attractive?
- DavidFox
  
  12 d
  Yes, don’t go in with a goal. If you say to yourself ‘I’m going to get her phone number’ before waking up to her then you already lost. The key is to have no goals, just be in the moment and enjoy the conversation. Don’t chat for more than 10 minutes then go away. If you felt good you could ask for her contact info before you walk away or even more powerful is walking away.
- Yash_08
  
  12 d
  Ok.
  Thanks for your help.
  Just don't to come across a rude/creep while approaching.
  Got to learn that with practice I guess.
- DavidFox
  
  12 d
  Exactly. With practice you will gain confidence. Actually the creep is the guy who stares at her and doesn’t come and say hi. Girls are very perceptive and they know when a new guy likes how they look. But if that guy doesn’t come up to them it starts to feel creepy because he isn’t being authentic.
  
  Another thing to keep in mind is that girls feel just as insecure as guys. If she’s out at a bar or hanging out she is thinking about 100 things wrong with her and why guys are not approaching her. So you being bold and actually coming up to meet her is the opposite of rude.
- Yash_08
  
  12 d
  Well David whatever you wrote here is absolutely spot on.
  Just recently I came to know that "girls can feel the aura around a man about what he wants and in what light he sees her".
  Thanks for your help once again.
  Hope to see you around here.
sakshamsadana
Xper 3

12 d

Maybe on a Marriage site.

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- Yash_08
  
  12 d
  How serious were you when you answered that?
- sakshamsadana
  
  12 d
  Well, your question sounds like you're really looking for a serious relationship. And looking for it on a dating site isn't a 100% guarantee.
  That's why I said this.
- Yash_08
  
  12 d
  I thought that is what dating is right?
  You meet different people and then seal the deal with the one you are compatible with!
- Show All Show Less
- sakshamsadana
  
  12 d
  Well, marriage websites work in a similar manner, if you haven't explored any yet.
- Yash_08
  
  12 d
  Haha.. no.
  But I had come across an answer on Quora long time back where a man said that some women use matrimonial sites as Tinder.
  Don't know whom to trust.
- sakshamsadana
  
  12 d
  Lol, I guess then you need to wait for the right time bro.
  They say "don't buy a tata nano just because you want to get a car, wait for Mercedes"
- Yash_08
  
  12 d
  Can we talk on PM if you don't mind?
- sakshamsadana
  
  12 d
  Sure
- Yash_08
  
  12 d
  Ugh!
  My XPR rate doesn't allow me to PM you.
  Maybe next time.
- sakshamsadana
  
  12 d
  Lol, follow me, I'll message you
- hahahmm
  
  10 d
  @Yash_08 You wrote, "a man said that some women use matrimonial sites as Tinder." -- 99% of women lie about what they want. If she says she wants casual she's an actual street hooker looking for cash. If she says she wants serious, she wants casual. If she says she wants marriage she wants casual or serious. See the pattern? But they also don't know what they want till they have it in many cases too. The 'cool' part is that she can be in casual with 5 dudes for fun while acting like she's a nun with you because you're a higher quality catch compared to her other guys.
- Yash_08
  
  10 d
  @hahahmm
  Hey buddy.. thanks for replying.
  Well if we go by what you say I am worried of even landing a serious girlfriend.. let alone a wife.
  Plus a body count of 5?🤨
  I mean I am worried because if I don't "accept her the way she is"... I am a misogynist, sexist pig.
  Damn what this culture has come to.
  Do men's preferences don't matter?
- hahahmm
  
  10 d
  @Yash_08 Will answer in my own post.
Twenty2 | 693 opinions shared on Dating topic.
Yoda

11 d

Have you ever been in a relationship?

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- Yash_08
  
  11 d
  Uhm... no.
  I have never been in a relationship.
- Twenty2
  
  11 d
  Toh bhai pehele date kar kisi ko baki khud experience aa jayega ki log sex ko kyu preference de rahe hai
- Yash_08
  
  11 d
  DM karu?
- Show All Show Less
- Twenty2
  
  11 d
  Follow kar
- Twenty2
  
  11 d
  Also, I don't use app so I'll not get notifications toh reply mai late ho sakta hai
- Yash_08
  
  11 d
  Kiya maine follow.
  Lekin DMs on nahi hai mere liye.

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