It is extreme to shut off people belonging the same category of someone who wronged you?

[Siren777]

The choice is yours and will always be yours. People will always have judgements and prejudices but it's how you react to it. You might shut people out and miss out on a good thing as you never gave it a go. Holding onto the past only hinders you from a better future. It's not easy but most people love to stick to what is comfortable and familiar. Generational programming from young has a huge impact in why we make certain choices, as soon as someone f up from a particular place, country or town/ city everyone gets painted with the same brush and it's unfair but that's the way it works until you change your mindset and that is up to you.

[Holisticapproachsara]

Its unfair but totally understandable. I have a certain nationality of people i cannot deal with like at all. Because a group of that nationality did hurt me. It might sound like discrimination but i call it triggers

[Luv2BRealExotic13]

No not necessarily. Everyone isn’t chill about it. Like unfriending me, I wouldn’t notice or care unless I was like extremely close to that person. I had a girl that blocked me for a short time. I didn’t know why because she never said anything. We were close but not like she was my best friend which is why I didn’t get undone. I used to be friends with a creep we both knew. I didn’t know she either confronted him about her friend or they had a fling. I think she confronted him about something she found out. He’s a narcissist thinking he’s gods gift to women and lied like they had a fling. Either way they had a falling out. I asked like why they weren’t friends anymore because she asked me to help her with a project for senior year. Usually we all would help each other with projects. She didn’t give me an answer other than “something happened it isn’t important let’s not talk about him”. I asked his side of the story he didn’t give me an answer either, other than implying that he felt they were romantically involved and felt the need to message her. I told him don’t do it. He must’ve messaged her anyway and she thought I was spying for him and blocked and unfriended me for a short amount of time. I think once she realized I wasn’t spying because I didn’t even notice until she sent me a friend request. Now me and The Crazy Creep aren’t friends he kept harassing me and I blocked him. I’m pretty sure the mutual acquaintances noticed my abrupt departure and cut off of contact. He had three roommates and I used to visit twice to three times a week to now going ghost in the wind. I’m pretty sure he was using mutual friends pages to spy on me. His roommates girlfriend sent me a friend request and Crazy Creep sent me a request and message an hour later. The girlfriend tried to bait me into conversation. It all stopped after I got the chance to block him. I assume they may’ve found out his true nature. They also don’t live near him anymore so I doubt he’s using their profiles to spy on me. He could always hack them but let’s hope not.

[Sarahr123]

Lool I do the same thing. If someone from a particular group hurts me or says something messed up or even if they hurt someone else I automatically distance myself from all people similar to them.

I remember once a girl in school was raped and physically brutally assaulted and in hospital because of an Afghan Pashtun boy and after that all the girls in my close circle were badmouthing people of their community and warning girls to stay away from men from their community.

I think it is a very human thing to do. We all want to protect ourselves from getting hurt. We do it so that we can survive and stay healthy.

I think being careful is a good thing but sometimes people are so scared of encountering the same issue that they can hurt an innocent person. I don’t believe in hurting any innocent people mentally, emotionally or physically. We should protect ourselves of course we should but we should not do anything at the expense of anyone else. I think we should not let our guard down but we should respect everybody until they give us a reason to distance ourselves from them.

Respect is a basic human right which we all deserve unless someone is a murderer or rapist.

[Carlz_051]

I don't think it is extreme. If you immediately get disgusted and do not want to be reminded of someone, it is fine. But it is important to know not all people are alike. Not all people from town Y are the same. You should try giving them a chance and actually see for yourself. The reason I said it isn't extreme is because usually the people from the same political and cultural background tend to have same ideologies and opinions on certain subjects. But they don't necessarily behave in the same way.

[Tylermassengill]

I believe that is a totally normal reaction, all you are trying to do is protect yourself from being hurt again, that being said I also believe that you shouldn’t blame anyone because of someone else’s actions. Let’s say that I were to fall in love with someone and they cheat on me. It would be normal for me to be cautious around people who reminded me of them, but that doesn’t mean that I should assume that everyone with similar qualities are bad people. If I did then it could prevent me from finding someone who was a good match for me or could become my closest friend. It’s normal to be cautious but don’t block people out just because you had a bad experience with someone with a couple of the same qualities, unless those qualities are something big like constantly drinking or getting up in your face and yelling at you. I’m sorry that this is so long but I hope it helps.

[ubuntu23]

I think this is normal human behavior. We try to protect ourselves from that which hurt us. So our brain associates certain things with painful stimuli. What matters is how you tease out that information and sort it because some can be helpful to you and others can be harmful to you.

For example, avoiding everyone from town Y could be harmful to you because there are good men in town Y. Someone there could easily be a suitable partner. This association is harmful because these are mere surface level associations NOT character associations.

A helpful association for example could be: let's says your ex was very manipulative and emotionally abusive. You then educate yourself on manipulation tactics and the emotional abuse cycle and red flags. You then block and limit access of people who exhibit those same behaviors because those are Character related.

hope this helps

[jessacat83]

I think it's a bit extreme. Generalizing all people from the same country or other huge groups of people is illogical & unfair. And possibly cheating yourself out of a very good relationship with someone you disregarded because of a small detail that has nothing to do with their behavior in a relationship.

[Dontaaa]

I would say rather it is, but then again we live in a world where you can get fucked over by others so hard and no on will care


With that being said, it's better to be safe than sorry.

I don't find it extreme.

[CriticalDiscourse]

If it brings you mental soundness, I don't think it matters. Do what you have to in order to protect your sanity.

[hhH2traveler]

I think its unreasonable but you have to forgive them during their coping. You should try to get past it though, its not helping you to keep turning away good people.

[Kas19]

Maybe. Depending on the situation. As long as they have a peace of mind and aren't hurting anyone in the process.

[AmeerX]

Not extreme.
I have known a number of people with similar characteristics and lifestyle. They are all like this pattern of betrayal.
So, I think 6 betrayals are enough for a lifetime

[red324]

Yeah. It's not fair you close off someone who had nothing to do with it. Good way to be friendless and alone.

[sheikalana]

I’m the same. I don’t think is wrong we’re just protecting ourselves. I always trust my gut feeling.

[zagor]

I kind of do that to people who resemble someone I knew in the past that I didn't like. Not fair, I know, but kind of subconscious.

[Anonymous]

Trust me, I don't like being prejudiced any more than you do. But stereotypes do have some truth to them.

But I don't think anyone was born evil, they were raised evil. Many of these awful people grew up without fathers, I noticed.

[TheSpaceGnome]

it only makes sense to shut off matching personalities to those who wronged you

[Snakeyes7]

Yeah that’s pretty extreme. Then again I don’t really meet a whole lot of people who look like someone who wronged me.

[Thedivinechic]

Not everyone is cut with the same pair of scissors. 😌

[imfreeze95]

I would definitely have be on my guard around them but I wouldn’t “shut them off”

[spartan55]

You are easily the most prolific blocker I know.

[Anonymous]

I do the same thing too so no. Liberals, low social class, and certain types of people are on that list of people I don’t want anything to do with.

[Gwenhwyfar]

That seems a little extreme

[pervertedjester]

We all need a clean break sometimes.

[thatonegirl00]

No it’s not extreme #KAM

lol jk

[collie22]

isn't that stereo typing , probably not so good

[Uptowngirl88]

It's a defense mechanism along with discrimination

[msc545]

I think we all do this - no worries.

[Anonymous]

No, it's called discrimination.

[bannacookies]

No, its not.

[Jmmmfi4]

I'd do it