Do you look for the finished article or a project when dating?

[MrCommodore]

I don't think like that, I never thought of taking on a project, I suspect women probably think like that more often than men.

Usually when I meet a woman, I initially quickly determine whether or not I find her attractive.
If I do find her attractive, I next look for any obvious red flags that will rule her out as girlfriend material.

After that it's just continue for the next few weeks or months to see how things progress and if we mesh well and bond.

[WindAtMyBack]

Current product is the only thing that matters. Looking for a project is a huge mistake. It's saying you don't really want to be with that person, you only want to be with a fantasy. Then when the fantasy doesn't happen, blame the other person instead of yourself.

Never enter into a conditional relationship, that you only want to be with them if they change. You accept who they are, and mean it, or find someone else.

[jerdanro]

It may not matter as much in dating, but in a serious relationship I want to be with a whole person, not a project. That is not to say that either of us would be perfect. Partners should grow together and individually with their partner there to support them. A "project" (to me) implied manipulation and trying to mold your partner into the person you want them to be. I want to support my partner to reach their goals and be who they want to be.

[ItsMeItsMe1989]

Girls typically look for projects, guys look for finished already

[Wiredone]

I take them as they are.

[Pogi-Paddy]

Most definitely the project.

[krin_m]

Neither, just the moment@

[Jmmmfi4]

What?