I've had guy friends that assume I wouldn't date them, but they didn't even bother to ask. Guys, why would you assume this?

I've had guy friends that assume I wouldn't date them, but they didn't even bother to ask. Why wouldn't you bother to ask?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Are you meaning after they were already guy friends, they never asked? Because I wouldn't either. If I'm her friend, it sort of seems like I'm out of the running for her since I'm seen as a friend. Plus it would be awkward if I asked and she told me she didn't feel the same way. It could split us apart, so I'd rather keep her friendship than to risk screwing it up.

    If you're meaning guys coming around but falling into the friend category over time, then it could be a lot of things. They could lack the gumption to ask you, they could feel like you're "too good for them", if you talk to a lot of guys they might feel like they can't compete/you're already taken by one of them/wouldn't consider them over all the others, you could seem unavailable or unapproachable, you could seem uninterested or just friendly towards them (nothing else). It could be a lot of things like that.

    • Thanks, this is helpful. And depressing at the same time. I'm an extrovert, so in some senses I'm my own worst enemy when it comes to seeming "available." :/

    • Possibly so. Not saying that you should change yourself, but being a little more open about your feelings to a guy wouldn't hurt. This is especially true since you're an extrovert and probably are surrounded by more people, so it might be tough to pick up on when you're being an extrovert vs. when you're actually interested. Plus like I said, a guy could possibly feel like you have enough people in your life to where you might not see people as individuals until you get really close to them.

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What Guys Said 3

  • why don't girls ask guy friends?

    because it's difficult and can be very painful.

    Just because guys ask lots of girls does not mean it's easy for us, quite the opposite, particularly when she's already a friend, and when she's friends with his other friends too.

    Why do you think there are so many questions on here relating to how to become more than just friends?

    • good point and to answer your ?, I don't ask guys out cause it would indicate to them that I'm willing to lead in the relationship and I'm not. I know it's hard to lead, but it's just as hard to follow.

  • I assume that about all girls. Fat, ugly, lack of confidence, intimidation, etc. Those are my reasons. The last two are most likely the cause for him.

  • because we have a sixth sense that white trash like you would turn us down anyways.

    • Way to make friends and influence ppl.

What Girls Said 1

  • Isn't that the most ridiculous thing ever? It makes me mad when I'm having a conversation with a guy friend and all of a sudden "...but you'd never go out with me on a date" comes up, and it's like "Really? You never know if you don't try dude." Boys...

    • thank you! It's almost like they're trying to get you to go out w. them with out really asking!

    • Show All
    • "It never hurts to ask" -itshayley

      rubbish, it often really hurts to ask.

      If she says no, no matter how nice she is about it, it's very painful

    • But you will get over it and realize that there is someone else out there for you. It's all part of a learning experience. There's someone for everyone whether you find them or not.