A guy I have been loosely dating says that he needs time to work on himself before commiting, advice?

ok, here's the deal. a guy I have been seeing pretty regularly for the past 3 months or so tells me that he really likes me but he thinks that there are things I need to work on as a person and he needs to work on things himself. he also is not sure of his living situation and may be moving out of state which is another huge factor in this whole “relationship thingy”

we speak on a regular basis, but he has always been very honest with his mindset. we have talked deeply..for hours really about this situation. he is not sleeping with anyone else nor am i, we made it very clear that multiple sexual partners at once is pretty gnarly and agreed to openly tell each other if we met someone else. so far, neither of us has.

He has also told me he has connected with me very deeply on many levels, more than any other girl in fact…so what is his deal? I know, everything in me says just walk away..but he’s just SO likeable, in fact I think I am falling in love with him. I just don’t know what to do, our connection seems so deep…and I am not over exaggerating…he says the same thing. So, do I walk away from this situation…if I do, I will be hoping that maybe one day he will come back. But is that something I should just get out of my head as well?

Somebody, just give me some advice! I’m so damn desperate…I’m venting on this site. I just love him so much :o(


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What Guys Said 1

  • From what I can see, it sounds like the guy just wants to take a break for a few months and think things over before activating "Commitment Mode" and choosing between you and living in another state. Assuming you are not exaggerating about the mutual feelings for each other, I don't think there's anything else to this. If you want to influence his decision-making and push the tempo up a few notches, make him want to stay in the area. How you're going to go about doing that, exactly, I don't know; that's for you to decide.

    • thanks for the advice..something ironic, he may be moving to WI. we are both from there. I saw eau claire and had to comment!

    • Huh. Where in Wisconsin are you from?

    • Wait, actually I'm confused. Are you saying that you're both from Wisconsin?

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