Should he be allowed to get upset now that I'm into him?

He liked me first and he used to ask to hang out all the time, after a few months I started to like him too, I liked him a little at first but no where near as much as he liked me. Now whenever I ask him to hang out he says he's busy and says I just have bad timing, but he never asks me to hang out any more, so how am I supposed to know when he's free? he still like me by the way, it just seems like he doesn't have time for me, should I move on? what should I do?

im not asking whether or not I should be upset, I am asking why he is, I know he still likes/cares about me and I know he's busy but why doesn't he offer up a time anyway? We live an hour apart when we're not at school so it'll be hard to hang out now and he said he was upset that we didn't get to hang out before I left (he lives down near where we go to school) but he didn't really make an effort to.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Well, there's a mature way to handle this and an immature way. It seems like the mature way may be a bit more difficult at this point since it's advanced to this stage. If he wants to hang out with you, he'll offer up (or at least respond to you asking) WHEN he is free, rather than you just taking stabs in the dark and always coming up empty.

    I'm not so sure he is into you again. Actions always speak loudest. If he's not hanging out with you, that means something. I've had girls and female friends who insist every time I talk that we should hang out, will hang out, etc., but it doesn't materialize and I know, despite their protestations, that not only do they not want to hang out, but that they're playing games. He sounds like he's being moody and "getting revenge" now that you like him more, since it used to be the other way around.

    You really have no right to be upset now that he's not interested in you. Happens all the time. It's easy to want to see things from our sex's side of the table but as a guy, I've had it happen a million times, too. You can't force people to keep liking you.

    If you haven't asked for his schedule, and he's taking your calls, I'd ask him for his schedule the next week or two and say you want to get together. If he doesn't have any free time in the next week or two, it's over. Even if he's going on a trip, he'll make a suggestion for something concrete. Don't accept "I'm busy with ____ now, but when I'm done/when I'm back". If he can't find time in a week, he'll either make a hard suggestion or you know you're done. Just don't be too upset about it; yes, he's playing games with you to an extent, but our culture frowns upon honesty between the sexes, and girls do this to guys as much as the other way around.

    • now that it's not 5am and I've slept a little I see what your saying, we live an hour apart and neither of us have cars but maybe I can ask him if we can talk every now and then, when he's online playing a game or something, maybe w/o saying "can we talk" because I've learned those are bad thanks

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What Guys Said 2

  • I'd be pretty pissed. There's no way to know when he's available short of stalking him. Try telling him totell you when he's available.

    • I think you misunderstood me, he's upset, not me...ok I'm a little upset but mostly just hurt, my question is why is he upset and should I move on?

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    • i've always liked his personality and overtime I've come to like his appearance and quirks too, we still talk every now and then but it just seems strained now, it was never a matter of me not liking him at all, because I did like him just not as much, I know he still likes me it just seems like he's upset that I want to hang out more often than once a month

    • Maybe you should stop asking him to hang and just ask him out?

  • i would think he belives your no longer interested in him and that's why he is upset he feels like he mucked up missing his chance with you


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