I don't wanna play games or break up. I am so confused :( kind of long

My boyfriend and I have been dating for about 5 months and yes we are sexually active. We've had sex three times.

At first while were going on our first few dates we always had time to see each other then of course our lives kicked in he hangs out with his coworkers at their houses and drinks beer and hangs like a guy. He's 21 I'm 20. He's in the military so he works a lot so we usually hang on the weekends however,

The last two months we've only been seeing each other once a month or once every three weeks. Mostly Because we both get busy but also because Friday and Saturday he's with his friends. We still talk every few days or daily. I don't suspect he's cheating but I've been contemplating a break up. I dint want to because even tho it seems like he doesn't care about me by not hanging out with me and all the time his friends when we are together it's amazing! I can feel the care and genuine affection. Sex too but we can have dates where they are just dates and not only sex.

He's told his family about me

Speaks tome in front if his friends

When he's drunk he talks about me and him having a baby

In person I can definitely feel his feelings for me but we only live 20minutes to 30 minutes away and I feel he isn't making the effort anymore only me . I don't wanna play games or break up. What can I do?

He might be getting out of the military soon and we've talked about staying together but if he's nit even trying now then idk! Sorry for the misspellings I'm on my iphone


Most Helpful Guy

  • Well, great confidence for asking for help!

    Your relationship evolves, just like life, so your wants have changed. Have you communicated them to him? Sure, he's busy, but can he see you one day a weekend and his friends the next, or see you both each day?

    You're not asking a lot to see him more than anyone else in your situation would be asking for after a few months.

    Now that you have the care and affection, you want the attention. My friend told me those three things need to be present, so of course you're feeling unbalanced!

    Just tell him gently, but firmly what you want. How would you want him to ask you to change something in your relationship? Address it like that.

    • I've told him I wanted to see him more. I wanted to address this in person but when I see him I'm all happy and I forget cause we talk about other things. :/

    • Well, rehearse what you want to say to him. Keep that on your mind. You have to override your heart with your mind! It's the balance between the two that creates success for you in life.

      Write him a letter. You can choose to give it to him, or simply to collect your thoughts.

      You got this! You can do this! You deserve what you want!

    • Thank you so much you think I'll rehearse and write a letter. I'm going to bring this up on Tuesday and make plans with him so we can talk I'm so shy with him

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • If this isn't the relationship you want, then of course you should leave. I don't see, though, why spending time with his friend should be a dealbreaker, especially when he tries to be a good boyfriend otherwise.

    • No No it's nit a deal breaker. It's just you haven't see him / spent any time with him for exactly one month and a week now. Because hespends the wknds drinking with his friends. :(

What Girls Said 1

  • well . . . maybe you should just talk to him about it ? I think that'd be the best thing to do because holding on to some one, that doesn't want to be held onto... always ends up worse for us.

    • I've told him I wanted to see him more.

    • well, maybe its time to take a break... maybe he's just not right for you ... </3