I got stood up! how should I respond?

this dude is kinda shy. we stayed friends, plenty of classes together. I take initiative and invited him out. he got really excited, we mapped out plans, and picked a day.

he said he'll call when he got done work so we could meet up and NOTHING. I waited and waited (we texted earlier in the week too, after plans were made). he never gets back to me so I say "thanks for letting me know what's up. if you didn't want to hang, you could've just said so." he responds back with a "i'm sorry, I'm dealing with something from home and it slipped my mind" I don't believe him because I've invited him out once before and he flaked, acting like nothing happened.

what do you think?

my thing is, after he flaked the first time, I was civil but kept my distance. he was all over me, texting, in class. we got beers before (some mutual peers came). he always sat with me, stares at me, etc...it seems odd


Most Helpful Girl

  • That really sucks. It seems like he's either got really bad luck with things happening to him, or he just doesn't want to hang out and is too afraid to say so.

    I figure if he was really looking forward to it, it wouldn't have slipped his mind. But then again, if something did happen, you don't know how severe it was and it really could have slipped his mind. Maybe you can ask him what happened and if everything's alright?

    Anyways, you've tried twice already and he's bailed both times. Don't ignore him, but let him be the one to initiate contact next time. Even if it was just a friendly night out, it seems pretty uncool that he wouldn't at least let you know that he's unable to make it.


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What Girls Said 3

  • Maybe he was too shy to go, or reconsidering how he feels about you, and isn't sure how to express it.

    It sucks to get stood up, and you have a right to be upset, but I don't think you should be to angry, because it's not like it was your wedding night or something.

    Just be understanding of his situations (emotional, home thing, whatever the hell is going on with him,) and just give him time and space to figure it out.

  • Don't bother with this guy. Shy or otherwise, "it slipped my mind" is not the thing to tell a girl, and the fact that he said that shows his inexperience and lack of interest in you.

  • You had tentative plans, so he technically didn't stand you up.

    However, this guy either really does have a lot going on and to the point that he cannot handle a relationship, or he's just not interested. In either case you need to move on.

    • they weren't tentative plans. it was all set up, time and place. he knew his work schedule (like I knew mine) when we planned this. Friday was best for both of us. trust me, he stood me up. I'm definitely moving on because shy or not, that's ridiculous. a text is not that hard to write.