I want to stand up to for him but I'm afraid that I might got bullied too

My friends and other classmates pick on this (cute) new boy. He has trouble making friends and he is very shy so that makes him a easy target.

Almost everyone in my grade say he's a loser. The girls once put a note with (she knows that he has a crush on her) my friend's name that she like him (trust me she doesn't). When he confronted her about she acted like didn't know what he was on about. I thought it was so uncool.

As for the boys push him in anything hard that will give him a blooding nose.

I want to stand up to for him but I'm afraid that I might got bullied to. It is painful to watch him get beat up and I think should help him but how?

So the new kid was sitting all alone at lunch (he usually eats by himself). He looked lonely to me so asked him if I could sit with him. We ended up spending the whole lunch together My friends went insane when they saw us.
We got in this dumb fight over it. Finally told them " at least I don't need to beat the crap outta somebody to feel better about myself." They got mad at me (again) they told me I could pick
them or the "loser" kid (that's his nickname). What do I do?
I sitting with the new kid. My guy friends randomly come behind him and beat the shit out of him. I told them to stop at least 3 times. They didn't it so I pushed (my friend) him to the Helped the new kid up. We went to a teacher.
Got my friends on suspendtion (for a week). Was that the wrong thing do?


Most Helpful Girl

  • Honestly, I think the best you could do for him is to tell an adult about what's going on. I don't know anything about his family, hopefully he has one that wouldn't stand by and allow this to happen. Most schools have a zero tolerance policy for bullying. They can even involve the police if it is severe enough. Though that may seem extreme, being constantly bullied by a "pack" is extreme as well.

    I think it's absolutely commendable that you would want to stand up for him. But what can you do, by yourself? Ideally everyone would see the errors of their way, but realistically - you are right, you would become a victim of bullying yourself. Be his friend and tell someone who can really do something about it.

    Being a victim of bullying, especially from a group, causes indescribable mental anguish. It can lead to long term emotional and mental problems. Stuff like that never leaves you, he needs help - more help than you can give him. My heart goes out to him, the poor baby.

    I warms my heart to know that you want to help. Right now you can be his friend, no more than that is needed. Show him that you will be there for him, despite the "popular opinion" of him. You don't have to take on the masses, just be the friend he so terribly needs right now. Tell a counselor or a teacher - let them handle it. If they are of no help, convince him to tell his parents. He needs more help than you are capable of right now.


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What Guys Said 1

  • By all means, YES, stand up for him and don't pass up this opportunity! People will *not* think less of you, and on the contrary you'll have their immediate respect for showing your maturity -- I know you already have mine. Anyone who tries to pick on you for doing the right thing are the real losers, and they'll know it, too.

    By standing up for him it doesn't necessarily mean that you have to go out of your way to see that he doesn't get picked on. But, if you're seeing something as it's happening, stop it any way that gets your point across.

    So by all means, do the right thing and step up to the plate; you'll feel great about yourself knowing you did the right thing and that feeling will last a lifetime.

    • One more thing: if you see your own friends writing more notes, a simple "*sigh* c'mon guys, give the kid a break; we're better than that." is all that's necessary.

What Girls Said 5

  • You are such a compassionate person, I know it's hard to stand up for what you believe in, but keep it up! I'm so proud.

    Again, I will stress the point of getting some adults involved with this. Please talk to your counselor or a teacher. It can be entirely confidential, no one has to know you went for help - not even the boy being bullied.

    As for your friends making you choose, how terrible it is to have to decide between doing the right thing and doing what is easiest. Do the right thing, it will be something that can strengthen you for the rest of your life. You can tell you friends that there is no reason for you to choose because you can be friends with everyone.

    Please, again, talk to an adult that can actually do something about this. Have your new friend talk to his parents. Bullying is a serious offense that can have terrible consequences - look at Columbine and other school shootings. There is no reason for this boy to suffer - someone need to put a stop to this, and I don't think you are going to be enough.

  • YES stand up for him! Put yourself in his shoes. How would you feel if you got beat up and nobody did a thing about it? At the very least, if someone pushes him over, help him to his feet. Just being friends with him won't make you a target, because you have friends. In fact, people are so easily swayed, if you befriend him, and get a couple people to do it with you, people will start to alter their view of him. He would not be more grateful for anything in the world. It sucks that kids have to be so cruel but they are. I am not saying you have to confront the people and tell them to leave him alone, but show some character and help him out.

  • Stand up for him, please! Yeah, you might get bullied but hey, if they bully you then they're the losers. This poor guy is an easy target, and maybe if you ally yourself with him he'll gain in confidence. Besides, if you stand up for him he'll have one friend at least. And who cares if you get bullied? Two are stronger than one.

    Just stand up for the lad, but allow him to fight his own battles too. If someone disses him to you, tell them where to go. If they start on you, just say "at least I don't get kicks out of hurting people who are weaker than me".

  • No, you did the right thing. The bullying needs to stop and I'm glad you stood up for him. Good for you!

  • a boy at my primary school had autism, he moved to the same high school and ended up in the same class as me. he was teased all the time about everything and no matter who it was that teased him, even if it was my best friend too, I would stick up for him and he would always thank me and be grateful and I'm still proud of it to this day.