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Losing my virginity to an escort as a 25yo?

Anonymous
So I’m a male 25 year old virgin and I’m considering using an escort to help me lose it. I have tried to date many times before and don’t have an issue attracting women but I have some past trauma that paralysis me when it comes to initiating anything. I was bullied by girls when I was a teen and it involved sexual bullying as well. They even decided to spread the rumour that I had assaulted them and it totally fucked me up.

I know it sounds ridiculous but I feel like the best way for me to get over this would be to have a few safe and controlled experiences with someone who can cater to it. The idea of having someone who is experienced and will cater to my needs or comforts is appealing. Someone who I can explain all of this too and they won’t immediately run for the hills.

The issue I’m finding with dating is that I need to tell girls early on about this that I won’t be able to jump into bed or I may not show my feelings but I’ll try but the thing is I’m yet to even find a girl who will stick around long enough to let me explain that properly. How can I explain any of this on the first few dates when she inevitably wonders if I’m even interested in her?

And I really wouldn’t even consider it losing my virginity until I have sex with someone I really like and who really likes me back.
Losing my virginity to an escort as a 25yo?
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