I want to ask him to hang out, if he says yes then my shyness may kick in, advice?

I have been a relatively shy person. If I don't know someone then I'll likely stand there and let them do all the talking. However, people will realize that I am a quiet person.

But I think I've been doing well. I've recently been a little more crazy and caring less what people think about me. I started a blog to take my mind off of guys (so I'd be thinking what to write next rather than how some cute guy said hi to me) and prevent my over analysing of them.

Well, here's the story: I asked one of my friends if this guy was single (having completely forgotten her new found idea of setting people up) and next minute, BAM! she appeared to be trying to set us up together. As I sat there, panicking over the fact she was doing this considering I don't know the guy he told her he didn't know me either. However, with a little prompting from my friend, he added me on Facebook and striked up a conversation on Facebook. He did appear a little flirty, saying he could perhaps make my summer more enjoyable... etc, so I took this as a sign he maybe wants to hang out with me sometime. I guess he also found my MSN address on Facebook as he also added me on MSN (I asked my friend if this was her doing but she was unaware he even had MSN)

However, when he logged into MSN he didn't initiate conversation (i'm not sure if it was my turn as he initiated everything the day before) and in the past this hasn't been a good sign.

I'd still like to ask him to hang out but I'm really not sure how to go about doing this. Should I invite him just to walk about like I would with friends or to the cinema where we wouldn't need to talk much? I wouldn't know how to ask if he intends this to be just us or to invite friends if he says yes.

And if my shyness kicks in then I might appear like I don't like him, totally the wrong message I'd likely want to give him. I just fail to think of anything to say when I feel shy/uncomfortable.

Yeah... this is really long. I don't mind if you skim it but I really need some advice


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • Hmmm... Well I guess you could give it a try, yeah ask him to take a walk with you, or go to the movies etc, if your a shy person then that you can't really change that,but on his end I'm pretty sure he'll think of some thing to say to you. Other places you to could go try doing some thing he likes ( video games, a little sport...) then I think if you guys have a natural attraction you'll go on dates in stead of hang outs if you guys don't feel that natural attraction well at least you made a new mate :D

    • He did say he'd try and befriend me :) but I do get more comfortable around people after a while, depends on the person though, some I can talk to straight from the start :L

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    • i know, I have been thinking that recently when I've came out of my shell :) but I think I might be starting to overanalyse the small things again... like how he added me on MSN but didn't initiate conversation... it shouldn't matter who does initiate conversation but I don't want to feel like I pester him if its me who is always initiating

    • I don't think he would mind all that much, were men if women aproches us that would just boost self-esteem or mabey its just me :)

What Girls Said 1

  • shyness is something that you can overcome. stop labeling yourself as shy. when you are with him, instead of thinking everything to yourself, try to verbalize your thoughts and engage him. sont worry about what he'll think, just say it. yes, it is an active effort all the time (for me too), but I have found that it's worth it and it gets easier and feels more natural over time.

    also, as for date ideas, dinner/coffee are very "on the spot" dates. I wouldn't recommend that until you are more comfortable with him. for me, going for a run with a guy was wonderful, especially since we are both active, and it's good to get your heart rate up - it makes you feel more alive and more talkative. or go for a hike, go bowling, just something where you guys are actually doing something so the focus isn't entirely on what you should say next. good luck! ;)

    • thank you! yeah, I know its a bit of a self fulfilling prophecy labelling my self as shy. This is good advice though :) the problem is my mind can go blank at times :/