Met guy online, been dating, he wants to take it further so soon...

So I met a guy on a dating site. Things have going pretty well. Its still really new but so far we seem to get along great. he's kind of out the range of the type of guys I normally date, but I enjoy his company and he always makes me laugh. There seems to be chemistry between us and he's commented on it, but I'm not quite sure if I'm ready to take the next step with him.

Apart of me really likes him and feels really comfortable with him and the other part wants to have fun and see what else is out there. he's mentioned to me that he's at a point where he's done messing around and has been hinting at a relationship. Even though we Haven't been dating that long I feel he's pressuring me into a commitment too soon. I told him what I was initially looking for but I think he's hoping I'll change my mind and commit to him. I'm unsure because apart of me really does like and care for him and the other part of me is saying I'm not ready.

I can already see that he's developing feelings for me and I fear he may be the clingy type. Yesterday we had a talk and he said he doesn't want to pressure me into anything but I think he kind of is. Also I think he has trust issues with me that I might be talking to other guys and says he would like for both of us to delete our online dating accounts. I don't know what to say? Because I do enjoy his company but at the same time feel rushed into this and I don't want him to get the wrong idea about me that I'm not a nice girl, when I am. Yesterday he was even acting funny towards me. I don't know if it had anything to do with our discussion? I don't want it to end and have told him whatever happens between us that I would want to stay friends with him but he kind of took it the wrong way. Any advice out there.


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  • You need to have another talk with him. Regardless of how long you've been dating, you both have very different expectations at this moment in time. When you told him that you want to be friends at the very least, that probably sounded off an alarm in his head and he's trying to give you space. But the fact that he's telling you that he doesn't want to smother you or pressure you into a commitment is what's wrong. If he really did mean that he would back off a a bit, he just should've let his actions speak louder than his words and let you be for a little bit.

    If you don't want to be exclusive (which is perfectly fine), then tell him you like things how they are right now and if he's not okay with that, just living in the moment *for now* then he can walk. Do not mention that you're still talking to other guys or even dating other men, that's none of his business. You aren't in a relationship. Also, he doesn't want to be just your friend so don't even bother giving him that consolation prize line. He'll just resent you and you two won't ever see each other again. There is no room for friendship when online dating, the whole premise is that you're there to find someone romantically, lets not kid ourselves.

    Good luck with your situation.

    • Well we have been dating "casually" and we have become intimate. We've been spending a lot of time together and I enjoy the comfort but I fear I'm doing it for the wrong reasons and that I am making the wrong choice in being with him and not focusing on myself and getting myself together more right now as I've been trying to do.

    • Trust your intuition. You don't seem ready and that's not a good sign. Just talk to him.

    • Just tell him. Don't lead him on while your talking o other guys. Be honest. He'll find out you've been talking to these other guys and what will happen to the friendship? Might as well tell him now then ruining ever fixing that friendship.